Birthday pipes were blaring Friday, Saturday, and Sunday for Black Turd and Knob-in-hood. They heard F*** U sang so often for their respective Barf-days that they are rumored to have started procreating without pairing or another type of assistance. Maybe a few extra pints prevented this??

Snot feared (rightly or not) that mentioning of wangjing without the line 15 cross reference in the last newsletter might result in at least one hasher ending up at Wangjing Xi----After Snot, drank for his offence, it was equally apparent that D & C should learn the Chinese, Shi Wu Hao Xian so he won’t have the taxi take him to line 13 and Wangjing Xi by accident. Haven’t the run sites that started at subway stops usually included the line numbers? hmmm. Back to Friday, Bjorn Again LTNS went to the Den for the good food and friendship AFTER having food at Paddy’s? That sounded a little fishy.

Getting back to the barf-days for a moment, another late arrival at Paddy’s on Friday, Snot—woe is me-- confessed to hanging out with his ex-yoga teacher and her movie star friends...and almost changed his inclination before coming back to his drunken senses and joining the Barf Day festivities at Paddy’s. Drink again, fool.
The run and walk set by Prancing Queen and Cock Sorcerer looped the scenic high rise buildings of Wang Jing district. The hash was very positive in response to their immodest claims of greatness. They made them drink at least once every couple of minutes to the delight of the hash circle. Well done GMs and RA!!

Nowhere Man hat was returned and Boner reminded us to keep order and point with our elbows---sloppy hashing and down downs for those of us who did not! Many were given the arm tube to lock their elbows and insure their shirts wore the holy brew and left their lips parched.
Recently, emails and calls between D & C and Le Cunt suffered from a squirting sound…Cock on Cock off Cock on Cock off…Le Cunt seems to have a bit of the “Is it in” syndrome when it came time to decide whether or not he is going to be an Interhasher….Cock off!
Absentee blonde tourist Doggie Fondue was caught looking for a tan line to match her bikini along with some ex-pat hunk or Thai sheeeeeeeehim in her closet (no doubt).
Doggie... I don't have a hole today suffered a verbal undressing by Dr. F%$#%$ Shakespeare as to where she had great depth of personality and also some zinger about lacking something upstairs. It would have been easier to remember his frankness had not been for the concise brevity and eloquence of Pickle Boy’s continued string of expressions on the meanings of life that literally escaped explanation by all drunken dumbfounded hasher types.

Newsflash: Margarita Cunt symbolically burns the French flag when he pretends to be British---right before the presidential election of a faux Dutchman, Hollande.
Snot to MC: What is your psychological analysis(and purpose evidently) of these three hasherettes’ footwear? What about Beastly Hole’s wearing seven psychedelic colors plastered on her athletic shoes? MC’s response: running …What about.Vaginamate’s sweet Monica’s with sports shoes that shouted everything has to be chartreuse? MC’s response: running…and finally Lu Shan Shan off-yellow fu fu leather hightops? His response was an equally overwhelming, yes, another damn one word answer--fashion. British straight man is he for humor so dry it would make any martini glass crack---Msr. Margarita Understated Cunt. Ha!

Hearsay had it that hasherdom was still in great need. Lost in the midst of Pickle Boy’s profundity, we called in our resident sage and soothsayer, Piles who conjured up something to balance out Pickle’s meaning of life; something indirectly sanctioned by hash deities, court jester cum laude Pretty Roy Orbeson Woman and Cowboy Dry in the Hole, namely, Pile’s periodic table’s pneumonic device divined in the holiest of all hash mugs:

(Guest translator: Bjorn Again had the Swedish translation in hand but the hash censors banned its publication for excessive lyric sing song and various sounds that had to be profane…)

'Harry He Likes Beryl Best 'Cause Nancy Often Flirts Near Nasty Muggy Allies'.

'Scientists Tickle Very Crusty Men Feeling Cold At Night'.

'King Napoleon Can Manage All Zany Fellows Now Since Puberty. His Concubine Hangs Again Au! Pity'.

'R educing A gents P rovide E lectrons'.

And finally: 

'Monkeys Eat Pink Bananas'.

Other sundry offences that were punished with a down-down included

• A weird interest for www.gaydog.com of Prancing without P. Queen’s guidance??
• Comes on Vacations for a jelly fetish which may or may not have been related to the fact that both COV and Le Cunt had shown up late, hot and sweaty on their bikes at 3:30..
• Vaginamate karaoke episode might have been unnoticed except he was probably caught wearing a g-string for gig as a fag dancer at Chippendale’s of Los Angeles. Sorry, Olivia Newton John will not be in the crowd of sex crazed females still perky at 50.
• Naming today:
  Stephany has been playing with the wrong kind of golf balls… hence, she shall be known as "Ball shit" (Finally after more than 25 runs!) 
• 69 runs for Black Turd and Bjorn Again - no fooling (around)
• 150 runs for the protector of the Rubber Chicken (cock of shame): Sir Dazed and Confused.
• Dragon Lady has also reached 25 runs. Well done!

Be cool and don’t drink OP beer in public.

On On

Snot

When the day is gone and the night strikes, everything seems so simple, if there is a Little moon light. Nothing Really matters in a random night, after all that is what it is: A random, simple night. But this is not the case of the coming nights... one night in particular is coming with its murky charm... so magical and inexplicable that only a very few can really see what is behind. The day is gone and the night strikes, but this time is not simple! this time is dark... dark times light up by the horror and despair of another FULL MOON NIGHT!!
Let the creatures of night feel the thirst of those alleys of a summer night, hutongs, streets, forests and parks are preferred for those who want to see the dark light, once again is time for the BEIJING FULL MOON RUN: DAMN THE ASTROLOGISTS, THE FULL MOON IS ALWAYS BIG!

• TYPE:
  A to A, Live trail, old school catch-the-hare rules
   
• HARE:
  Our faith will be chosen right there
   
• WHEN:
  TONIGHT Tuesday 8th may - 7:30pm, Hare off at 8:00pm
   
• WHERE:
  
  Because you ask for it again and the summer is almost here: We meet at The Camel Lace next to the Drum and Bell Tower
  Check Map Here
   
• HASH CASH:
  We equally share the expenses (bring extra 5 kuai for park entrance)
   
• WHAT TO BRING:
  Flashlight/headlamp, dry bag, virgins, new shoes, "Get Out of Jail Free" card, Silver bullets, crucifixes, garlic, holy water or one of those small leprechauns from Ireland... But still travel light...