UPCOMING RUNS IN BEIJING
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Our next run is…
Departmentalism only shirks responsibility each other by rushing to do lucrative things and avoiding to do difficult things. The personal achievement in power is prior to the interests of ordinary citizens.
Teeming multitudes recontextualize a beehive-like lane in Houhai area. They must be hashers. It’s blustering and sunny. Hash Cash Blow Harder holds a paper and pen to collect the cash. RA Slappy Seconds adeptly and impassionedly blesses the prayer like verse for these hares Muscles from Brussels, Just Stein (MfB’s brother), Just Li and No Shit Sherlock, accompanying on swingy beep from a bike’s alarm in the start circle. Then up to 40 hashers spread out to find the firstling sign. As usual, the first step is always the hardest. The good sense of direction works.
Limp Fish Dick leads the way ahead and wanders off. And the hare has to hint at an alleyway. The hashers like tidewater pour into the trail. Zigzagging thru the hutongs and sticking to the marks to move forward on no-holds-barred basis. The hares remark the trail clearer from time to time. All of a sudden, the hashers sag down in a little junction in the hutongs, even the hare seems to be coma-bound, too. Whitherward? At last, the hare insists on a direction and soon the hashers are vehemently on to the track. The Beer Near sign and then the first Beer Stop at an obscure grocery. The hashers talk and drink like RoadKill, Blister Fister, Just Krista, Kiddiepoo, Just Viktoria, etc.
Some walk up to the bank of Houhai lake to weigh up to swim or not. The strong winds hit the body like the needles. There is no swimmer in such a waterscape with ups and downs. And a group of walkers get together with runners like Karate, Bjorn Again, Brussels Mum, Not Tonight, Minaj A Trois, Just Chris, What the Fluff, virgins and so on. The hare MfB first takes off T-shirt, shoes and socks to step in the water, then LFD, Pickle Boy, Dry Hole, Molotov Cock and 007. And the audiences are crowded with the lake bank. The water is not freezing, but really cold and the bathers have to keep body warm by swimming. Minutes later, the hashing bathers must be back to the bank. And the place where the hashers jump in the water without the steps, and the slate bank is wetted and changed slithery. Some of bathers have to help each other to disembark. No wonder Crash Test Dummy is at full cock to swim in the topless way in the beginning, however when he sees this situation, he doesn’t swim and confirms he can’t get out. And Tit for Tap wears a goggle and also quits the cold bathing. As GM Shanghai Man yells out for On On. Dazed & Confused as latecumer bobs in. The Houhai street is filled with Jack and Jill, Tom, Dick and Harry as well as mensch and schmuck. And the hashers have group photo with a figure sculpture who looks like playing taiji.
A voice for On On attracts the hashers to storm into an array of hutongs. At an Open Check point, there’s a winding and prolonged scanty alley, the inexperienced hashers cannot adhere to search further. The veteran Bearded Clam guiding Cock Chain deeply checks in and shouts out a way out for the hashers whom are on the lookout for the wrong direction. Hairy Crack is lightfooted to stride forward. Turning a few rounds to run to the bank of Houhai lake and meeting up the second BS. DH buys bags of candy and snack for hashers. The hare Just Stein shops crackers for hashers. It lasts for 10 minutes or so. And sinking into rows of hutongs anew.
More Men, Principal Penetration, Just Jeff and PB shape a team to ferret onward along with the signs, and landing on our feet with choosing the right direction from the Open Check mark, until reaching the third BS next to the main street. There are 4 to 5 types of Belgian beers in bulks to supply for all hashers. AutoBlow acclaims it’s best beer stop ever. The latecumers: Super Squirter squeezing in from nowhere; Ass Tonguer feeding Ponyon and Amy a piece of pancake, Amy demonstrating a spoiled state by refusing the food. Just Ben and Just unknown somehow both call a cab to leave early. At once. It courts the boo from hashers. Some play Beijing Belly. 10 minutes later, the hashers finish homestretch via the high wall hutongs and make 3 turnings to return to HH house. The bathroom of restaurant represents public health status in China because the stench has come out to attack the customers. If asking the waitress to improve it, she says she’s reported it to the manager. The manager explains they have worked on it. But it’s still the same.
The grand circle is sited at an open garden. 6 small cases of Yanjing beer serve the hasher, it’s not cold beer, tough, with new way of providing a tray of yoghourt. There are another 2 latecumers Mind The Gap and CumShot. GM SHM moderates a big show. These 4 hares and 5 virgins are respectively hailed in the circle to be rewarded and welcomed with the beer and the particular Hash songs. The hare NSS obtains #69 run patch. 4 hashers win their own shining mug and #50 run patch, such as MfB, AT, Hot Cockolate and ChickenShit. Each time, there are a bunch of mug winners to stand out to congratulate on. 007 starts creative things afresh by dishing out a bag of laver to treat hashers and then brings out a bag of seaweed, however bag name called Big Bang. RA SS does his part. The SongMaster DH legato belts out the magnificent Hash songs for each shtick. CS can sing the most of Hash songs downright. A fair amount of passers-by become the audiences of hashers. A middle-aged and decent local lady comes along to ask with smile what the hashers are singing. The local hashers answer her it’s Hash songs about the hashing in English language. RA SS announces he hosts a naming for Just Li. As the Hash tradition, Just Li dresses her last layer and being on her knees in the circle. Several hashers propose her prospective Hash names. After listing multiple nicknames, Glitoris is known for her Hash Handle and on top of it, a beer christening pelts down on her body with the Hasher Song, screams and laughter. Turns out RA SS clicks the chorus of Swing Low with the hashers to be tickled pink. The other middle-aged local man comes up to politely ask PB how he can join the hashing because he’s visibly moved as human being by the joy of hashing circle. Way to go!
April 16, 2018
Sunday is Earth Day! No matter whether the human history on the Earth is 300,000 years or 3 million years, it is still too young for the 4.6 billion years of the Earth’s history. In this spring day, the boys pilot the hashers to southern Beijing, with a trace of radiometric dating method, for paying a return visit the conventional infamy; that is, dirty, messy and raw south of Beijing city, e.g, Karate could encounter rival; Triple X-ray could run up against anti-surveillance; Pickle Boy could meet with more in a pickle. But it’s all right now because the most of lao bai xing’s ideas have been more open than we were in the past. Opening up our vision needs a drive from outside of the box as well!
Triple X-ray, Karate, Pickle Boy
SUNDAY April 22
SUMMER HOURS Meet at 2:30 p.m. Run starts at 3 p.m.
30 RMB run/walk and circle
80 RMB run/walk, circle, and dinner
京城梅苑 Jing Cheng Mei Yuan Restaurant
Subway Line 4 TaoRanTing station, south-west / D exit, go straight / westward 150 meters, see the restaurant as the following photo. Of course, also see the Hash marks.
Beijing! Beijing! What wonderful place to hash…
Beijing, Beijing, what a wonderful place to hash,
We have great fun dodging the shit and trash.
Our skies are never clear,
But we have cheaper beer.
We like our drinks,
Our singing stinks.
But welcome to the Beijing Hash!