Hash Trash #1868: Hashers Bjorn Again

The Cold Spot phenomenon may be another powerful evidence for the existence of the parallel universes outside the universe. There is no normal or dark matter in the Cold Spot and no radiation signal. It is completely empty.

Everything is so familiar. Because the hashers become the Bjorn Again. GM Dazed & Confused and RA Dry Hole co-moderate a hash-like memorial circle for the immortalized Bjorn Again beside the Hash Harriers House Paddy’O Shea’S.

A half-a-man-tall gold frame mounts a portrait of Bjorn Again in a Hash T-shirt, solemn and rakish. A note is pinned at the bottom of left corner of the picture frame, indicates UNCLE PER’S CHAIR. Nearly 40 hashers and over 10 Bjorn Again’s drinking buddies from the Irish Volunteer bar raise the cups of beers to shout out, “to Bjorn Again!”, then dropping a beer to the ground. As if a déjà vu warps a space-time to see Bjorn Again’s figure in the parallel universe, who’s toasting a glass of draft lager to the hashers and his people as well.

It seems that everyone’s taken up above the salt. The Song Masters such as DH, D&C, Shanghai Man and Penis Tone (showing up after 3 years) lead the hashers to belt out the Bjorn Again’s favorite Hash songs, especially the Foreskin Song. Perhaps Bjorn Again’s soul has produced a chemical reaction somewhere for a visit from the stork to meet the hashers in the future.

The hashers of stature “accuse” of the funny things for enlivening the atmosphere, like RoadKill, Cockarazzi, Mini-Me (coming back after 3 years) shouldering junior Mini-Me, etc. Tit for Tap works on Beer Bitch. Super Squirter and Drinks Like Girl click Hash Flash. The 4 hares are called to swig together and Crash Test Dummy scores his #250 mug and run patch. Welcoming 10 virgins with Hash ceremony. Roger Rabbit scurries around. The recessional hymn is certainly the Swing Low that the hashers sing out and dance with passion in the end, like Heart On, Karate, John the Baptist, Blow Harder, Bearded Clam, Pickle Boy, Finger My Dough, Just Niuniu, Just Gary and so on. About 20 hashers pig out a local food that’s finger licking good.

The route is equally familiar in the Sanlitun bar streets and the Workers’ Stadium area. The green marks are irregular but once the hashers are almost losing the way without eyeing the signs, the deus ex machine always turns up to a way out. The pacemakers are DH, You Cunt See Me, Nipple Kamekaze, Just Daniel, etc. At the first beer stop, the hares plan to play a game for hashers, Oooooops! The hare Not Tonight yells at, “don’t say playing a game, it’s making a show!” Another hare Dr. Shocker can only talk with the local hashers because he cannot speak English at all. He’s joined the Hash over a year, though. Indeed it poses communication barriers because the most hashers speak English language. If can’t speak English, lest can’t understand how interesting the hashing is. Fortunately, the locals are thinking language is a tool, speaking a foreign language is not related to patriotism and betrayal. More importantly, it shows a learning ability, otherwise many doors will be closed and must cause unnecessary troubles. In fact, the scene is chaotic until the hare CTD who can speak English keeps order and let hashers know what’s going on?

The hare Foot Fetish and the other 3 hashers demonstrate the “show” according to the hare NT’s words – one does some push-up on another’s body lying on the ground and then uses one’s mouth to drink a cup of beer on the another’s stomach. Duh Spot rides a motorcycle with two rows of seats to carry a band of kids, like junior Duh Spot, junior MM, junior 007 (or one of 008, 009 and 010 in 007’s triplet) and playing rugby for a while. 007 then rides a motorbike with another two his juniors in the hashing line-up. At the second beer stop, one of junior 007 opens up a bottle of beer by trying 10 times with an opener. He finally sighs it’s the first time to open a bottle of beer. The whole trail is relaxed, peaceful and cozy and thanks for a super day. As each drinks, first says, “to Bjorn Again” and drops a beer on the ground. All the best! Cheers! Bjorn Again!

On On…

Pickle Boy

By | 2018-08-21T17:15:45+00:00 August 21st, 2018|Hash Trash|

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