Hash Trash


by Pickle Boy, Hash Scribe extraordinaire.

Hash Trash 2017-06-28T15:35:29+00:00
The post, views and opinions contained on this page are those of the author and are not necessarily endorsed by, nor do they necessarily reflect, the opinions of the Beijing Hash House Harriers. In any case we hope you enjoy!

For those who missed the last run or who simply don’t even remember what happened or just want to read the fine stories of the Beijing HHH.

Hash Wedding Run #1856

A wedded bliss: marry a similar spender; have a lot of sex; say “thank you” and “we”; make it quick; be tough; work hard at it.

Song Master Dry Hole acts out a pastor by dressing a whole black and holding a God Delusion book, to bestow the Amazing Grace on the Hasher’s new couple Ass Tonguer and Lick It To Ride in the circled celebration in the woods nearby the Irish Volunteer bar, in the DH’s impassioned blessing,

Today we wed Ass Tonguer to Lick It To Ride
We’ve heard them say “I do.”
Give it your best, for the next forty years,
But first drink down your beers.

LITR and AT cuff each other with the Hash pink cuff. Beer Wolf puts on a chicken head headgear to sit in the circle and the new couple sit on his legs for a different hashing wedding ceremony. GM Dazed & Confused and RA Slappy Seconds in turns host the wedding circle. These 3 hares Heart On, Danger Zone and Limp Fish Dick, each in the big rabbit ears tires and fishnet stockings, the ladies’re attired in corsages. Wait! Chewancca wears one, too. 007 sticks on a mask on his face and being wrapped in a fruit protective meshed film on his head and tying an eyepatch in comparison to HO’s shaped face tulle. Breakfast Included dresses her #100 run apron. Pussy Nibble bundles up a bubble film on her waist as mini-skirt and another piece of bubble film stacks her hair with a rose as coiffure. Our bridal veil is dotted with beer bottle caps. Our groom costume is duded with dark color vest and pants and peaked cap like milord. Finger My Dough mimics the groom to kneel on his one leg and sends something to What the Fluff. Sink & Destroy, Tramp Stamp and Bruised Lee bob up as latecumers. Bottles of wines and iced beer irrigate the hashing wedding. Then RA SS pulls Just Gavin for his naming. After a simple consultation, Foot Fetish notches his hashing life. A burst of beer shower and The Hasher Song bless him on his knees in the circle. The most grab the hot and yummy pizza at the IV. The groom LITR kneels his one leg and presents his unaffected ring to the bride AT under the witness of many hashers at the IV, and drinking till all’s blue. We all get hitched again. There are 4 virgins taking part in.

These 3 hares orchestrated the intimate trail. 30ish hashers pour through hutongs, Ponyo and Amy chase the runners, then zigzagging the 798 art district and clicking group photos with a big spray painting on the wall, a huge rainbow door is being opened at the back of a giant head, then through treelawn, footbridge, streets, intersections, woods and second Hash Hold with a petite wood bridge across a lush pond, through container houses, into the Wangjing park and out through the eastern gate, a band of old construction workers stop the hashers and one of them snarls like crazy. Pickle Boy and Pedalphile ask why don’t let people pass through. He growls it’s an order, no why. But there’s no any sign for No Through Road. And a last group of hashers have been blocked by them, such as Little Shit Red Hood, 007, FMD and Dr. Shocker. When several hashers argue with him, he slows down his mad absurdity and let us out of the park. It’s like the intraday smog around 170 PM 2.5, we never know the bad things jump out anytime even though the media always reports it’s getting better. Then the hashers cut through a fine woods and noisy traffic hinge to the 3rd BS. And hashers loop back to the start point along with the laneway and ring road.

The 1st and 2nd BS are settled at the small shops with spacious places. The hare HO organizes the hashers to play some games. For sample, 2 groups of hashers compete to carry water by using a dick-shaped sponge to be hung on the waist; a short beer mile match; at the 2nd BS, Just Chris as latecumer awaits the hashers, the game for single-foot-standing drink and hands-standing drink. A lot of hashers have a whale of a time like ChickenShit, Bitch Bandit, Hot Cockalate, Just Jake, Just Collin and so on. The others watch with relish like Bjorn Again, Crash Test Dummy, Principal Penetration, Just Joanne, Not Tonight, PreLube, etc. Hash Flash Super Squirter captures the moment to snap pictures of hashers.

On On…

Pickle Boy
Beijing. Monday,
May 28, 2018

By | May 30th, 2018|
1505, 2018

The Zero Fucks Hash #1854

By | May 15th, 2018|Categories: Hash Trash|

Reason is also limited, because it cannot get ride of absolute obsession, otherwise it is immersed in the worship of power and money all the same. So the divinity is still effective, leading the human [...]

905, 2018

Churn Me On’s Horny Birthday Fiesta #1853

By | May 9th, 2018|Categories: Hash Trash|

When comparing the perceived knowledge to how much people actually knew, the belief-superior people are consistently overestimating their own knowledge. The Hash flag hangs on the trees around 6:09 pm, May 5th. Is it a [...]

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