Hash Trash Run 1422
Posted by Dazed & Confused Tuesday, 02 February 2010 18:07
Well the farthest outside Beijing (besides the Boxer Hash) this weekend on the new line 4 and we had a biggest crowd of the Winter season (so far). People all over the city must have heard rumors that Snot and D&C were haring as we had 8 virgins and 3 LTNS show up anxious to run.
With our total of 23 huddled for protection from the wind. Snot began explaining the trail – he and D&C promised off-road, on-road, climbing, vistas, shitty trails and who knows what else but several spots along the way the smells were amazing, and not in a good way.
The Reverend already had a half dozen down downs and was feverishly scribbling on his new iPad (we thought that was a bit excessive to carry on the hash but technology and chicness often trump practicality!!).
We were a rabid group anxious to get dirty so "Open Check" was called and we quickly found trail disappearing through half torn down hutongs and across farmers' fields. Everyone was hopping barbed wire and piles of unsavory post-digested food.
Stick Massage was complaining about tight legs but decided that only a 6 year old masseuse can give a proper rub down. We had runners spread all over the Anheqiao area when quite quickly we hit a "HHH". D&C quickly approached and said "I need to be punished". We were confused but then he said come with me and I will buy everyone beer. The crowd was excited, even if barely sweating. We were all wondering if this could be the illusive "3 Beer Stop" that is in all childhood stories, but alas it was not to be, this was 1 of the 2 planned beer stops (D&C maybe you can take this under advisement).
We quickly drank down 6 beers and were `On On' again with a mixture of flour and chalk and marks a-plenty. While checking a shit trail at a two-way (literally ended in a hutong toilet), Circus Freak and Dry Hole FRBed out of sight. Several newbies came past as I rejoined the trail and promptly missed an "on left" leading back into the fields. Good news bad news – Good news is that lead to beer stop two very quickly, bad news we had to wait for the hare and the FRBs to get money for beer. While entertaining the locals on the street corner, we drank happily enjoying the pleasant weather.
Snot quickly shuttled us off again and we were down in the "canal" or run-off ditch for more off-road which included 3 large steel pipes that were marked for running through…unfortunately the third included several well placed piles of human fecal matter!!! To the hares credit the pipe was labeled "shitty trail". As we followed the waterway one side to the other and past an open grave site (in the canal!) we were getting close to the start.
A hard left took us off-road and up the hill to the Chinese HOLLYWOOD sign that translates into protect these woods from fire (maybe the real Hollywood should say that on there sign).
With the clear air we had a group photo and admired the view into the Summer Palace and into Beijing proper. Next we were warned that we were close to military compounds so keep "on on"s to whisper level until we get back to the road. CF suggested bird calls instead of "on on" and DH added his special touch of a talking bird sound "over here…over here".
DH picked up a water bottle some hasher left behind (and tried to punish the offender in the circle but no one stepped forward to claim it – remember we try and make the trail cleaner than when we got there not dirtier so please at least pick-up your trash). We cruised through the forest and gaps in the military barb wire, calling out like birds and flapping our arms to fool the army. Everyone safely made it out and "on home"
The Reverend had accumulated quite a bit of material but before he went on we had to honor him with the naked lady mug for his 150th run. BTW – Spiking Viking, as much crap as you gave me the night before about bringing your 100 run mug – where the hell were you???
It took several verses of "why are we waiting…" before the Reverend finished his mug-full of beer so he was trashed when he began abusing the group. He seemed to focus on the newbies (may or may not be the best option if we want them to return). And we all sang and danced and drank finishing with a rousing speed version of "Father Abraham" and then "on food"…
On On
Moore Head
Clear 27 oC
