We interrupt this regularly scheduled program to bring you a break from the routine and get some good, fresh (kinda) air in a trip to the valleys. On this Boxer hash, ain’t no mountain high…ain’t no valley low…ain’t no cherry picking here! Ok, that’s a lie. Your hares did cherry pick the best valleys they could find. We’ll pop your cherry in the valley and then over to a quiet valley where we’ll likely make as much noise as we want! It’s the only way to do a fucking hash.

We’ve even got a song for the road. The more beer, the better it sounds:

There once were some hashers from Beijing.
Who wanted to shake up some things.
They made quite a fuss, then got on a bus,
It’s what a boxer hash will bring.

So out of the city they’ll go.
And stop in some valleys below.
There’ll be beer…drink it down.
Cuz we’re out of town.
Don’t fuck around and miss the show.
Just check out the details below.

We could Rhyme the whole weekend in tow.
It’s the Little Red Shittinghood, Cock Chain, and BBC…


When:

Saturday, February 16th, 2019

When:

Cherry Valley

Time:

Meet at 10 a.m. Departure at 10:30 a.m. sharp-ish

Hash Cash:

200 RMB will get you a boxer trail, snacks, circle, bottomless drinks, and a bash!
Bring extra cash for any drinks at XL Bar after the run.

What to Bring:

Bring your own water bottle because the boxer doesn’t supply plastic water bottles! We will bring a big water for you to refill. ♻️❤️🌏
Your cell phone. Lots of warm clothes. Running shoes. A sense of adventure. A sense of direction. A sense of humor.

Meet Up:

XL Bar 1-022 Shoukai Bojun Nanqu, Xindong Lu (新东路首开铂郡南区1-022).

D’erections:

It’s on Xindong Lu in the complex just north of Heaven and south of Lily’s American Diner. To find it, try to go to Heaven and then go the other way.

** IMPORTANT NOTE: THE BEIJING BOXER HASH IS AN OFF-ROAD RUNNING HASH GOING OUT TO THE HILLS AROUND BEIJING ONCE A MONTH. WE USUALLY AIM FOR THE SECOND SATURDAY OF EACH MONTH, BUT MAY VARY DEPENDING ON THE HARES’ AVAILABILITY, CURRENCY EXCHANGE FLUCTUATIONS, THE SCORE OF THE MOST RECENT BEIJING GUO’AN GAME, THE BUS DRIVER’S MOOD AND OTHER VARIABLE FACTORS WE HAVE ZERO CONTROL OVER. WE DO NOT ADJUST FOR WEATHER CONDITIONS (BRING A TOWEL, YOU WON’T DROWN) NOR POLLUTION LEVELS (THEY’RE LOWER OUT IN THE MOUNTAINS ANYWAY). IT’S OK TO WALK BUT NOT TO LALLYGAG. KEEP MOVING … WE’RE A RUNNING HASH. HEART ATTACKS ARE NOT PERMITTED. AS WE ARE OUT ON MOUNTAIN TRAILS, IT’S EASY TO GET LOST. IF YOU’RE TOO STUPID TO BRING A PHONE WITH YOU (LIM&S, LOOKING AT YOU!) AND YOU GET LOST. WE WON’T PH*CKING CARE, NOR WILL WE PH*CING PIN YOU EITHER. WE MAY OR MAY NOT SEND A SEARCH PARTY LOOKING FOR YOU. IF WE DO, CHANCES ARE IT WILL CONSIST PRIMARILY OF RABID DOGS AND HUNGRY WOLVES. THAT BEING SAID, WE ARE GLAD TO HAVE YOU JOIN US AND HOPE YOU ENJOY A GREAT DAY! (BY THE WAY, NO YOU WON’T BE BACK FOR YOUR IMPORTANT DINNER DATE BRING THEM ALONG INSTEAD)