Forget fireworks—this Friday we’re celebrating the only kind of explosion that really matters: the glorious chaos that is Foursome’s birthday.

Sure, America turns 248 this week or whatever—but our favourite South African export is turning… well, who the hell knows, because she’s been 28 since 2019 and we’re not asking questions we don’t want answered.

Join Foxes this Friday as we honour the woman who’s done more damage than load shedding and a Springboks loss combined. Yes, it’s Foursome—the queen of calamity, the diva of downhill disasters, the only hasher to ever turn a Boxer trail into a full-scale emergency response operation. Four firemen carried her down a mountain once—physically and emotionally scarred. Rumour has it, they still flinch when they hear the word “Foxes.”

At our last outing, she faceplanted with the grace of a gazelle on glue, proving once again that gravity is not her friend—but damn it, she makes it look entertaining. And who could forget her musical moment? Tumbling down the trail like a tone-deaf Snow White, chanting “Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to cold beer I go”—an anthem so powerful it rattled the hills from Huairou to Hillbrow.

Behind the bar this week, we’ve got a special COCKbitch slinging drinks and selling lies about his so-called five-dollar footlong. Bring a ruler if you must—just don’t expect it to be metric.

Expect:

  • Drama
  • Drinks
  • Disaster (Durban-grade)
  • The Foxiest Foxes in Beijing
  • And one fabulous birthday girl who somehow still has more energy than a toddler on Red Bull

So dust off your vuvuzelas, polish your prosthetics, and prepare your liver. This Friday we raise our glasses, our standards (briefly), and maybe even our skirts in honour of the woman who puts the “EISH!” in every occasion.

Foursome Me Down the Mountain: the legend, the liability, the birthday bitch.

Walking Hare:John Wayne’s Gay Semen

Running Hare:Singaporn Star

Cock Bitch:Five Dollar Footlong

Dress Code:South African … green, yellow, blue and/or red (sorta like the SA flag)

Trail fee:rmb 69

When: Friday, July 4th

Meet-up:Paddy O’Shea’s at 7pm

Start: 7:30pm

Trail is A-B, not doggy friendly

On-after:Paddy’s of course

Who are the Beijing Foxes?

We are the harriettes of the Beijing hash. Like our mythical fox spirit sisters (狐狸精), we are mischievous and alluring. We roam the hutongs of Beijing and sip wine under the stars.