Snow in the middle of March?? What is the RA Reverend Slackbladder thinking?!? Let’s hope we can avoid any more cold weather… of course after this week’s predicted snowfall on Thursday…
With only one hare, no virgins and a group of 9 regulars we had the making of a peaceful hash-pack. We were promised 77% of the route would be in parks near the Beijing Normal University but what is normal about snow in March? Dry Hole made a couple quick adjustments like sleeping in and buying cornmeal to mark the route.
As our group assembled at the Hongmao jiaozi canting the flakes continued to fall and the RSB tried out some new British material that he must have worked on at the Irish Ball the night before because no Brits could understand a thing when LSW showed up and saved the day by laughing – although we can’t guarantee he understood the humor any more than we did. DH asked for a head start and said I will wait at the first beer stop and gave me a map of the route. Hard to Live With was planning on walking so DH gave him a map as well.
Just when it looked like he might have to go it alone, Wasabi Geisha surrendered her silk toga to Nice `N Tart so she could fit in on the run and agreed to walk with HTLW – Of course this meant a change of clothes and a bigger head start for DH. We circled up and quickly explained the importance of the Ides of March and the “sacrifice” of Julius Ceasar…D&C (Or as LSW suggested during the run DNS…) commented “no man that was an assassination!”. I guess living in Columbia gives a new perspective.
Anyway the snow was piling up quickly and we headed out with Martha Stewart in his tartan-esque toga and several soon to no longer be white togas on the group. We quickly entered our first small park and then on cornmeal to a local market. As the snow was falling fast, the ever-efficient Beijingren were shoveling/sweeping and cornmeal proved to be of poor quality (we think it may actually turn white in snow) – we had to consult the map over and over again. DH called me from the beer stop, half drunk and slurring his speech with “wherrrrre arrrre youse guys?”. I tried to explain that we all the sudden had become a snowball fighting group with a running problem but promised to be there shortly and to please save some beer for the other 9 of us.
NNT was having nothing to do with the cold beer and instead disappeared around the corner with a can of Nescafe coffee to inject into her vein. Needless to say she was amped up before we finished our beers so we released DH to continue marking trail. Luckily we had extra money today or we would never have afforded the 2 mao entry fee for everyone to the next park.
Now DH was getting smart and using a combination of disappearing cornmeal and chalk marks every 2km. So the snowball fight continued while a few searched in vain for marks.
We once again had to get the map out…luckily D&C had strongly suggested another beer stop so we knew at some point we would find DH again. When we did he was huddled under the statue of Mao with his snow toupee bur no beer. He suggested that University Policy prohibits the drinking of alcohol on campus and that we would have to wait for the Dumpling restaurant and the circle.
D&C was on his phone talking to Feeling Like A Chick with one hand under his toga but when he heard this news he short-lived joy was replaced with thoughts of “What would Brutus do to the Hare?” Obviously disappointed and with the trail troubles we agreed to run with the hare the last 3km to Home. We were treated to the remaining 77% of parks in the area as DH ran up, over and through tree lined hills and man hole death traps. Everyone arms must have been tired so people began resorting to hitting the branch of a tree as they went through so the snow fell on the unlucky person behind them. I think Enzo received more than his share care of DH. Luckily anywhere that snow had been cleared was now ice so the run along the canal proved quite dangerous given the melted water and just when we thought we had lost our acceptable 10% of hashers…
DH then D&C then my phone rang, each just one time. DH looked down and saw a missed one ring call from LSW to which he said “I don’t play that 1 ring call me back game” and by the time I looked at my phone, D&C was explaining to LSW that if he just kept running straight like we had for the last 2km he would see us. Maybe we should all have worn the fluorescent yellow jackets so we looked like human highlighters. Eventually he found us and we sprinted the remaining .5km home.
After a quick change of clothes we circle up in the park surrounding a cannon with an extremely slippery glass floor and the continuous rumblings of the ditie below our feet. We moved through quickly to the RA without any virgins, LTNS or awards and recognition. Apparently the RSB British humor from earlier had not improved on the trail and we agreed to have him drink to anything not funny…regardless of quality guess how many times the RSB was asked to drink…10 down-downs and 10 drinks all in great fun (we held our laughter until dinner as we were having so much fun with our little game).
Obviously rattled the RSB asked to turn it back over to GM so we began accusations. The junkie NNT was called in for not only having one coffee drink on the run today but actually 4 (1-800-Coffee Junkies Anonymous is toll free and may be able to help if you just admit to having a problem). The 4 non-toga wearers were abused and the only hare was forced to drink pneumonia or not. With a good 8 cm of snow on the ground we closed the circle and were “On Food”…