Word of all the tequila in Mexico (or at least Beijing) kept some hungover hashers in their pajamas this week (sorry DH…) but we still put together a good group of 18 with No Beer Required bringing along two friends and Amnesia “donating” another virgin himself and she even has a name that when pronounced correctly sounds like “Beer Get”. LSW said “You must come back and eventually you may be so named”!
As we waited at the meeting point wondering about the hares we watched Fuck That Monkey trying to do wheelies on LSW’s city bike. Eventually the phone rang and the hares said where are you guys to which we said where you told us to meet at Exit A. Stick Massage said “no you must go to the restaurant”.
I assured him we were not late-comers as the previous email suggested but he did assure us there were red chalk marks leading the way. Thank goodness Pyromaniac had printed out this week’s email as whatever “red marks” the hares had laid down were clearly gone. Once we made it to the restaurant the hares were still nowhere close so we waited and eventually SM and Undulator showed up and clearly SM was marking the trail because his Yashow North Face jacket and both hands were covered in red chalk.
Undulator said “I barely sweat” and SM said well remember my green head from the Lu Mao Zi run. We began the circle and instructions when Undulator said stop we have 3 hashers inside and one is a virgin. Well after another 5-10 minutes the three ladies (lead by NBR) emerged from an extended bathroom break…don’t think we want any more information but they did drink for this later.
Well we were beginning in the University so we walked over in mass so Undulator could give them the secret handshake to get us in. Familiar territory for her as she and Snot set a hash here last Fall. No surprise as many may remember we found red chalk doesn’t do well on wet pavement which turns dark and makes the chalk disappear or perhaps it was the laziness of SM. At any rate marks were also under parked cars and on occasion the hares thought it funny to stand on a mark while we frantically searched (Maybe DH can teach the hares some manners). We were treated to a beautiful campus to run on and some very interested sculptures including a extra tall and overweight man with his business out for all to see and for Limp Tart to fondle. He already had an umbrella proctology exam from Petting Zoo.
So the first beer stop was on the University grounds but it wasn’t like any college bar I ever went to in North Carolina and then on for more on and off road as the hares did their best to keep us off the busy streets of Beijing. By the time we hit our second beer stop we had a injured football player gimping along, Tom, and a group of 5 or so that had fallen way behind. When we asked Undulator where they were she said I don’t know and SM said but wait I thought you were the sweeping hare today. So while she went back to search for them, SM gabbed away with the hashers next to the chalk mark suggesting “Spot for beer drinking” but we said where is the beer. Of course he had sent his ayi and fellow Brit, Lord Of The Ring Jobs, to fetch beer and water. Unfortunately with no opener!! Yours truly managed to break the top of one only to be outdone by LT when he caused an entire full and unopened bottle to explode…must have been from all those bike seats he was running around sniffing.
It was getting cold and heading towards darkness so we hurried along through some old 1950’s apartments and “on home”. As everyone grabbed nuts, pineapple and noodles to eat in the circle we purchased the necessary alcohol including an opener and PZ and LT took turns as Beer Bitches. With the absence of RSB, LSW agreed to do the British thing and continue the same line of jokes and puns as the surrogate RA. As the circle continued we realized that today’s victim was clearly LT and he was to drink excessively BUT we did have one British joke that even us Americans laughed at:
What is better than roses on your piano….tulips on your organ!!!And with that we were “On Food”