Another weekend of beautiful weather and the promise of great scenery in the Old Summer Palace and University area of Northwest Beijing. We met under the Ditie train tracks with 22 folks including 6 virgins (2 joining for the circle and dinner). Placenta brought his parents and his brother, the incredible hulk version of himself. The hares, LSW and Spiking Viking, made the introductory remarks and Mastur Baker, Piles and Ella were off on the walker’s trail while the rest of us were on “Open Check”. LSW promised the walkers and runners would meet up at each beer stop which we all took to be a miracle if it worked considering MB gave the map back suggesting he couldn’t follow the print out. We quickly found the trail and were off on what became a 5k start to an 8.5k run…wait a minute does that make sense? Given we have 2 beer stops…well let’s see what the hares come up with. The hares quickly had us scaling walls made of sharp spears, climbing through rusty
fences and along narrow human shit stained trails near the rail yards. I am fairly certain that everyone stepped in something. We finally made it to beer stop one and had to call “On Back” to Placenta’s brother How Long for running through the “Near Beer” and “BBB” marks. 20 meters down the alley and next to numerous food stands we found cold beer and water. While we avoiding being run over by bicycles we drank a ton of fluids and thought well 5k and 1 beer stop in on an 8.5k run…what’s next.
With that we were on “Open Check” and running down an alley, around the Old Summer Palace fence and through a neighboring hutong. All of which turned out to be “loops” that allowed the hares to just sit and wait for us to come back out to the road. We were rewarded with a beer garden and 4RMB pints of COLD Qingdao beer. Needless to say we met the walkers again and the hares had made a miracle happen. Actually two miracles, the second being cold beer at both stops in 30+ degree weather.
As a group and in a 2×2 formation, we entered the Beijing Sports University. Unfortunately the RSB couldn’t stay in a straight line or follow the hares and soon was “leading”. The formation collapsed and we kept on running through the University. Needless to say we didn’t have far to go to get to home so we quickly arrived.
The circle was held in LSW’s apartment complex and while we waited for Ella, the walker that MB and Piles lost, we thought LSW was off getting another crate of beer…as it turns out he was off showering and returned shortly in new clothes and looking significantly more refreshed than the rest of us. With everyone back and Placenta’s parents in tow we began the circle and introduced the hares whose destiny was to drink and drink and drink!!! As we rolled through the virgins and off-key singing, the RSB took over and began punishing the hashers with the hares for setting a trail by: 1 placing your marks where they are certain not to be erased; 2 making sure it isn’t too hot; and 3 dropping their map mid-trail. He continued by calling MB in after riding in a non-AC carriage with MB armpits at his “nose level”. A friend of D&C was caught sketching chalk flowers at the beer stop and circle. The walkers also were a fashion nightmare with Ella in matching tennis attire, Piles in a 1978 Great Wall Marathon t-shirt and MB with a “Hash in The Buff” shirt. With that Placenta was called in to drink from his brand new Chinese running shoes (80 RMB well spent).
We moved on to “Accusations” and boy did they fly. Even Placenta’s father, Mislead, took part by calling in his son for wearing a shirt from a hash when he was 4 year’s old. We thought the hash could be renamed “The Shit and Piss Hash” thanks to the human feces lined trails, the non-potable (aka urine infused water) in the sprinklers spraying RSB, the “Poo” on FLG’s shirt and the stains on the back of Hard To Live With’s shorts. We began to disturb a few of LSW’s neighbors so we closed the circle with announcements and then we were “On Food”