A truly global haring experience this week in Southeastern Beijing led by Mastur Baker, Wasabi Geisha and the soon to be named American Caroline now know as Ho Me (Be careful when you make those marks as a hare).
We had a large group of 7-8 virgins and while we missed the “German-timed departure of 3:05PM”, the hares explained the green and yellow chalk marks and the flour, which was a prior hash. With it clear as mud and with a disappointed 1 BEER STOP…oh the travesty on such a beautiful day!! I guess that is why the RA, D&C, called me at 3:05 and said “hey I am at home and can’t make it…” guess he heard rumors of only one beer stop. With that we were “Open Check” and Ho Me confused by here role of lead hare took us straight to the first mark, making our day easier. Apparently the hares said it “rained” the previous day so SOME marks might be missing…
With more open checks than a proctology exam room in the first 3K and incredible difficulty finding marks, we needed some assistance from Ho Me to stay on trail. Numerous “On Downs” by the canal shortly followed by “On Ups” to canal crossings were keeping the hashers busy as the group became more and more spread out. Even Petting Zoo was trying to run with her daughter on her back and some help from What’s Up Cock. Amazingly the child actually fell asleep while she ran! Meanwhile F That Monkey took a spill and twisted his ankle running of all things. Spermaid was back from a 3-month immersion in South American culture but with only enough Spanish to say “you have beautiful eyes”. The good news was a perfectly timed beer stop where all the walkers and runners met up and enjoyed cheap beer (although today I think more ice cream than beer was consumed).
After the rest of the hashers caught up and many switched to the walking trail we were “Open Check” and Caroline took us straight to the first mark…many thanks again! (although that isn’t exactly the way to do it)
We continued running in what seemed to be a 5 K radius of the start with a challenging route, at least when it came to finding marks and that kept Head Cleaner, RH, DH and Mark Handelman busy searching at every Open Check and 2/3-Way. We reached the mark of a circle with an “H” and asked the hares what is this a Hash Hold? No it was “Home” and right next to an ice cream stand so 30 hashers made her day by buying out the entire ice cream selection (I am pretty sure Undulator ate 3 today).
Eric, our visiting Bostonian, agreed to be Beer Bitch and after handing out 125 Run Patch to Pa Baker and a 25 Run Patch to Rock Humper we moved on to accusations in the absence of our RA. In the circle Lucky Boy abused numerous hashers including In House Screw, the hares, Head Cleaner and himself (by virtue of forgetting hash names). Pussy Problem was brought in for being topless and having some nipple pain today (he claims that means it was slightly more than 10K as his nipples are never wrong). It became apparent that a naming was due and Caroline was called into the circle and christened “Ho Me”. Dry Hole made some quick pleas for hares and with that we were “On Food” and an excellent outdoor meal…