A first today with a record 12 “first-timers” and the annual one run by Canadian Chlamydia (heck she even brought along her brother the movie star, Ted), was the woman outnumbering the men in a hash that saw close to 40 people!!! Unfortunately only 3 people ran without a shirt and none of them were women. The GM was fashionably late from picking up the new BH3 beer coozies (and yes they fit the BIG beer bottles and the hare raiser, Dry Hole, was off searching for chalk as the hares, Lin Zhang and Eric Smith (baptized Cock Sourcerer today) had run out. A bit more disturbing when he was told they used bricks to mark the trail.

Lin, a local, said she could not find any chalk…Dry Hole in less than 8 minutes on foot found a box of chalk and returned triumphant yet also realizing maybe he needs to adjust the “Hare Information” pamphlet that he provides each week. The hares quickly explained the marks for the first timers and although we didn’t adhere to German timing of 3PM sharp we were off within a reasonable amount of time with our two virgin hares. But wait…a quick RMB120 was handed to me by No Beer Required for herself and one more hasher as they emerged from the Ditie. Within minutes Pocahomo and Fuck that Monkey had removed their shirts to the dismay of locals and thought it wise to play chicken with the Beijing sun and it’s ultraviolet/ultraviolent rays.

Our beer stops would be two and both serviced by a cooler in the bag car. After last weeks’ “warm” beer incident the hashers were desperate to know that today would be different. Piles was off with the walkers nearly 15 strong and to FTM’s dismay his first timer friend Matt was actually walking not running (much punishment would occur in the circle!). DH was excited because we were heading for the Drive In theatre on Liangmaqiao and also into Chaoyang Park. Not for a cheap date and some private snuggling but for all the wonderful trails and neighboring hutongs. Unfortunately the hares prefer asphalt and concrete so even in these areas it was all hard roads and sidewalks!! As we worked our way through the embassy area and the seldom seen marks we entered the Drive In and found the glorious cooler of beer. Unfortunately when we opened the lid it looked like someone cleaned out their fridge…some cans, some bottles and all appeared to be covered in cigarette ash! Hell we were all parched so what’s a little ash when you think about the air we breathe? After a few minutes the walkers arrived and finished off the beer so we sent Jin, the bag car driver, off with an empty cooler and some RMB to pick-up more for beer stop 2.

Now is when DH’s real disappointment set in! Instead of open check and entering the trail system in the movie theatre area we went right back out the entrance and across the street to Chaoyang Park. With several runners from the Wednesday Chaoyang group in attendance we were treated to running part of our trail (again on pavement) in reverse and the scenery change was AMAZING. Out the east gate to the blue beer cooler full again with cold beer!!! Low and behold here come the walkers…the hares had done the impossible with everyone sharing the same beer stops at the same time. After another lengthy drinking session we announced “Open Check”. The hares were off before we realized Jin had NO IDEA where B was and the map that Piles had was faded, had no roads listed but instead showed a red cross that was supposed to mark the church across the street from B. A quick call to the hares and we had it sorted but DH and I had to catch the runners. We quickly lost trail and then just made it up eventually finding B and running backwards to the rest of the group. No Beer Required and Petting Zoo were in the flower market instead of running when we caught them and Jin was randomly parked on the side of the road nowhere close to B. Once we had the rest of the group and turned to run the correct direction we had the car follow us to the finish. Later we would discover that the restaurant that was supposed to be just past the Harley Davidson dealership was in fact another 500 meters down the road and you had to take a right at the light to find the restaurant on your left. The circle was begun and we met the visitors, first-timers and LTNS before DH took a stab at RA. With plenty of available “intel” he had no problems abusing over 2/3’s of the attendees. We transitioned to “accusating” people and as the sun began to set we realized we should take advantage of the remaining light and “have ourselves a Hangin’”! I mean naming and with Eric being listed as an “underscore” on last week’s email DH suggested that, but as you can see below the crowd decided something else would be better:

Today was a glorious day with three namings:

  • Our virgin hare, Eric Smith, now Cock Sourcerer
  • Our gentle German, Holger Meier, now Benz Over
  • And of course our naughty hair stylist, Cindy Bingman, now Dirty Cut

And on such a beautiful and hot day the beer bath was not only refreshing but also as DC explained very good for your hair!!! With a quick clean up and announcements made we were “On Food”!!!

After dinner DH led the group in “Swing Low” and we retired for the evening.

On On

Moore Head