Hash Trash

Financial Freedom, Human Origin and Space Travel

Around 140 as PM2.5 of AQI is, there are over 40 hashers getting together with great enthusiasm at a solemn HH House outside north 3^rd ring road on Sunday afternoon. Because BJH3 f**k off the three constructive hashers RoadKill, Lick It To Ride and Ass Tonguer in a hashing way by enjoying their haring gig. RK as a nectar patron supplies a carton of Coors Light beer to the hashers as usual. Proxy GM Dry Hole summons a start arc. LITR wisecracks the marks to a virgin for a paraphrase. RA More Men graciously spreads the hashing gospel for these three hares and the trail. No walker’ s trail today!

Cutting through an intersection and into a secluded bypath being surrounded by the man-tall grass, kind of reed with a layer of frost-like white on top bringing out an exotic detachment. Chokes One Out, Cum In My Brum and AT stretch their arms to show big smiles. Wandering Tongue and Shaven Not Stirred hasten to snap candid photos of the novelty. Putting our heart into moving forward to a straight boulevard and at the end, a group of runners take group picture against the smoggy sky for a Hash Hold. Principal Penetration jogs at the fore  to down a subway passageway, bright, modern and spacious. On his heels, Breakfast Included, Cruise Line Her, Blow Harder, Piss & Chips, Danger Zone and so on, through Yuan Dynasty City Wall Relic park with some low hills and tunnel.

Suddenly stopping at a stele, Rosetta Stone? Behind it, emerging a hole under an iron fence to lead up to an underground bypath. Nevertheless Just Matt can’t wait to line up to down the hole and just makes a leap over the iron fence. Somewhere Little Shit Red Hood as latecumer squeezes in the hashing lineup. DH, Moose Knuckles, Minor Annoyance, Heart On, etc keep ahead and into an open garden where there are two rough tone statues, one giant fatso Genghis Khan, another a slim girl. The runners step up to click picture against them as second HH. Of course, another group of hashers leisurely stroll around the ancient and fresh street-scape, such as Rambo No.5 and his twins, Crash Test Dummy, Churn Me On, Just Bri, Hot Cockolate, Silent But Deadly, Just Coco, Amy, Ponyo, etc. You Cunt See Me and Nipple Kamekaze go to the length of covering all the way.

All told, three beer stops were settled in the obscure hutongs. The first one is next to a Civil Defense Emergency Shelter in a residential zone; the second one is where all hashers gather to take a big family photo at a pavilion. Latecumers in like Dazed & Confused, CumShot and Bearded Clam. When returning to the restaurant, the hare RK has prepared rows of red cup shot being concocted with 2 bottles of high-end Vodka to serve the hashers. It’s pleasantly surprised that Life Of Pee comes along after nearly 2 to 3 years of his absence, as one of the most charismatic ex-GM and ex-RA of BJH3. And a few latecumers too catch up like Cheesy Balls with a virgin, BDSAmateur, Molotov Cock and AutoBlow. The circle is sited at a terrace with which several ornamental square stone columns of Yuan Dynasty are decorated.

GM D&C wearing his hashing-patch-full frock acclaims an opening remark. The guest RA LOP in his crowned fedora for the Grand Justice reads off a series of hashing anecdotes. The hare RK puts his Coors Light carton on his head like Vodka czar. Two virgins are welcome. These three hares are hailed out to drink and each is awarded fancy T-shirt with the own Hash Handle. Some hashers suck-swallow a round of cock of shame, some a round of Jim Hamster, some a round of small bottles of unknown full-bodied whiskeys. Cheerful Hash songs speed up to down and down until night falls. The hare first lights up a small torch for the circle celebration. Just Matt is pulled out to embrace his naming by kneeling down in the circle toplessly. After buzzes of nominations, Pussy Grabber achieves one wishes. The hares provide fireworks to spark up the smash hit. The hashers have a marvelous time.

The blue Pickle Boy is over-happy and has lost control of quaffing the booze as high as a kite, and actually he has been unconscious since the second half of the circle celebration. When he wakes up and finds himself lying in a comfortable bed. There is a warm note on the bedside table indicating that he’s staying in a house of MM, completely in another world, about 1:30 am. MM then pokes her head in the crack of the door and mentions PB got sick and threw up at the restaurant last night. And Dry Hole, Molotov Cock, Moose Knuckle and Minor Annoyance carried PB to the hospital. But the hospital staff said PB didn’t have ID card and cannot accept him for a treatment (this is a cruel reality, wanting either money or process, never to be human). For the first time, I write hereby in the first person that I THANK YOU VERY MUCH and deeply sorry for my killing the good vibe of hashers, and letting junior Rambo No.5 twins very concerned.  In fact, this is the second time. 3 years ago, at the house of Filthy Habit, I blacked out and vomited too and in the house of FH. Then Molotov Cock, AutoBlow and Sink & Destroy helped me clean my shit and supported me to the place of MC and AB for a recovery. That means I should make a pact with drink, especially whiskeys, shots and strong wines, no more for Pickle Boy. No matter how unhappy the heart is, still relying on sweat to release, not liquor.

Hashers cannot emphasize the importance of safety and security too much. On no account can the true hasher be struck down by the harsh reality!

P.S., Boxer Hash #173 on a monthly basis yesterday was impressive as well. The hares Mussels from Brussels, Limp Fish Dick and Shanghai Man explored a picturesque Longqing Gorge with more than thirty mountaineering hashers. The Boxer Hash is also the part and parcel of paradigm shift.

On On…

Pickle Boy

Beijing. Wednesday,

October 24, 2018