Hash Trash

Man-made disasters cannot be solved until natural disasters lay down standards.

Saturday afternoon, it’s quite chilly although the Beginning of Spring came for 6 days. About 40 hashers roll up to the hashing point to f**k off our reasonable RA Six Kuai Short and his sweet wife Godzilla Butt as well as their tenacious baby Charlie. GM Shanghai Man exposes thigh to summon the start circle. SKS is the last time to bless 3 hares Oracle Boner, Pickle Boy and Just Wenhui with his tub-thumping prayer. The runners spread out to check the trail on the wide streets. PB rarely hares 10 walkers to poke along. Karate relates his volunteer experience while he travelled in Los Angeles for 3 months where the locals truly live a socialist life. Super Squirter sighs her first time to join the Hash is 3 years ago in February. Passing through Jingshan park area. The red high walls and great red gates all are newly renovated to show off a Moire effect of timocracy from feudal empire. At another end of a hutong, the first Beer Stop is found and the runners have arrived for a while. Hot Cockolate vies a chestnut with Dickmocracy. Lick It To Ride and Ass Tonguer weigh in the walking group from the running group. Blow Harder forks out the beer as Hash Cash.

PB reveals that simplex kindness cannot protect safety and benefit to Red Snatcher and Shaven Not Stirred in garish yellow fluffy coat. SKS gets lost. All walkers take group picture with Beihai park. As reaching the 2^nd BS, the runners have left. The hare buys 6 cans of beer and cookies, then all carry on. It freezes out some to ride in cab to HH house like Blister Fister, All In, SNS, etc. The walking trail is indeed longer than 5 km as normal walking trail. The walkers just go by the 3^rd BS to the finish line. The circle is sited next to a red high wall relics of Beijing Imperial Palace Park. The hashers click memorable group photo with this either old or new ruins of the power’s attachment. Dark Shaft puts his best leg forward for his last hashing in BJH3 and forms habit to survey the trail to be 9.3 km.

GM SHM and RA SKS take turns to host the performance. These 3 hares are called out to drink lap after lap. 4 virgins are greeted with Hash convention. Just Wenhui wins a plastic mug, Crash Test Dummy wears shorts scores #222 run patch, PB then #333 one. BF acquires a delicate glass for his birthday. SKS and GB bring a bottle of fancy and lemon Italian wine in the circle to treat some hashers having relation to Italy. SKS hands out a bag of gifts to the USA hashers that the most are a variety of popguns, at least elucidating that having a gun is American. Also SKS gifts and crowns RS a shining tiara, a beer opener to PB, etc. Mismanagement thankfully presents this role model of Hash couple a pair of varicolored T- shirt with the Hash Handles Six Kuai Short and Godzilla Butt. Dry Hole sings Hash songs heartily in a loud voice for each emotional moment. Just Natasha holds a slapper to punish noisy hashers, instead she jumps in the circle to contribute her hip to be spanked by a group of hashers. The others chortle these gushing streams of shticks, such as Mormon, Undulator, Just Jourdan, Finger My Dough, Chewancca, ChickenShit, Bearded Clam and so on, especially Just The Tip whooping up it since he left for a few years. Wandering Tongue and Rambo Number Five snap pictures at different angles. 2 latecumers squeeze in like Pussy Nibble and Limp Fish Dick respectively. RA SKS shouts out Just Wenhui for his naming. Shortly afterwards, Cock Chain falls on his shoulders to work that never ends. Instantly some hashers congratulate him by scattering flour on his body, accompanying by voice of Saturnalia. 9 hashers taste a Beijing hotpot and another team of hashes head to savor the separate dishes.

On On…

Pickle Boy
Beijing. Tuesday,
February 13, 2018