Run #1574 kicked off with a whimper at local restaurant Le Petit Gourmand, renowned for only serving snooty French-sounding customers, while all others must eat from a trough. This was unacceptable to Le Grand Gourmand and fellow scribe Nowhere Man, so beer was imbibed and the run converted to an A-B. Famous not only for his rigid regime of utterly failing to write hash trash, Nowhere Man was shamefully caught in the act of SHOPPING ON THE HASH to “whip up a little cheesecake later”, and then declined to join the circle for due administration of punishment, preferring instead to drink Belgian beer at Paddy’s.

A number of hashers were also spotted in a filthy capitalist sex shop buying speculums and trying out the various dildos for size. Jolly Green Knob, Le Cunt and Pretty Woman were all caught red handed buying penis enlargement pumps and viagra, while Pickle Boy confirmed widespread speculation about his sexuality by remaining steadfastly outside and talking about how he loved Gossip Girl so much he read the book.