It’s that time of year again… eh, whatever. I write pretty much the same thing every year. Point is, I’m here to tell you wankers—the annual Sauna Hash is back!
I’m sure a lot of you can hardly contain yourselves. Those hashers who only know how to drink beer, nurse hangovers, and rely on rain for a shower have been building up a thick layer of grime on their bodies. They’ve been waiting all year for this Sauna Hash—a chance to jump into the sauna pool, then find a bath attendant to take an angle grinder to them for a full-body polish. Sorry though, no happy ending this time. This is China, so those hashers who just got back from Thailand might be a little disappointed.
Of course, for Hash, going to the sauna is like having sex. Don’t even think about going in rough and straight—that’s fucking rape! You’ve got to have some foreplay before you dive right in. So we’ll be doing our foreplay in 798, since the art district has such a strong artistic vibe, it’ll bring a little romance to the sauna experience
When you wankers have been wandering around 798 till you’re all flushed, breathing heavy, and just about ready to get straight to the point… boom! The sauna will be your perfect happy ending!
Hash cash:
30 for the trail and circle, sauna pay on your own (price is around 99-139).
Bring your passport(non Chinese citizens) or ID(Chinese citizens)!!! Not a photo, not a passport number, not a visa page’s tattoo on your buttocks……you need to bring an actual passport!
Your Hares:
Walking Hare: Too Hot To Handle, Just Catherine
Running Hare: Singaporn Star
Trail:
Trail is A-B with no bag drop.
Dress Code and Haberdashery:
Wear your hash gear pls! If you still don’t have any, buy some you wankers!
Hairy Hashers
Neither trail nor sauna is dog-friendly
When:
Saturday, March 28, 1:30pm meet up 2:00pm start
On-after:
On sauna of course, you wankers! Why would anyone go to Paddy’s when you can hit up a sauna?
D’erections to meet up spot:
Line 12, Gaojiayuan subway station, exit C
12号线，高家园地铁站C口
WE NEED HARES!!!