Hash Trash

Crab-sidle adapts to the geomagnetic reversal.

Ass Tonguer and Danger Zone make handstands against the wall where nearly 40 hashers so revel in the circle opposite the restaurant near Tuanjiehu area, hosted by GM Shanghai Man and RA Slappy Seconds. The 3 hares Super Squirter, RoadKill with full beards and Smells Fishy wassail for their odd job. The 4 virgins just left 1 to accept a welcoming ceremony. Sausage Party, Wandering Tongue and Shaven Not Stirred break away prior to the circle. Just Christie and Just Jourdan get out of the circle as the circle is halfway done. Beer Wolf as latecumer pops in before the circle. PPTease squeezes in as latecomer for SF’s FOYW. All hashers sing aloud the FOYW song for SF. 007 creatively brings somewhat diapers to “accuse” some hashers. Crash Test Dummy stands outside the circle to talk with a hashing girl. The restaurant entertains the hashers many times. The waitress drones she has a deep impression of Rambo Number Five who all the time dresses a long skirt. Dry Hole and Chewancca troll the Hash songs to heighten atmosphere. RA eventually leads a chorus of Swing Low with the hashers. Stoned Age shows up as latest cumer and soonish FOYW, too. The restaurant supplies wonderful spiritual food by writing a wealth of aphorisms from Jesus and Mother Teresa on every glass widow. The waitress explains their boss had converted to Christianity.

At the beginning, the hares prepare colorful fish-shaped ornament to each hasher for the themed hashing. The hare RK anatomizes the hashing marks for the virgins. RA SS blesses the trail and the hares. Shortly the hashers confirm direction to rush into a lane to avenue and street to run a big U-turn around the HH house, then cross the noisy street to turn southward for a while into apartment block toward the corner for the BS1. The hare RK holds a carton of American cans of beer to treat the hashers. The runners and walkers gather to chat and sip. Oracle Boner chimes in the conversation. Just Tiffany comes back the hashing after a few years. Lost in Marks & Spencer, Limp Fish Dick and SNS put on short pants in such a freezing winter. In jig time, the hashers move forward to cut through modern cold high rises to the street and climb the foot bridge down to Sanlitun bar street.

Later on, at a 2-Way sign where Pickle Boy, 007 and the hare SS lost the way and stick around the hustling Sanlitun crossroad for a spell until chancing one’s luck to find out a sign to stride over another foot bridge. As the other 2-Way sign confuses the direction again, ChickenShit with full bears as latecomer takes the lead of the hashing line-up to shout a way out and into a lane. On left to an alleyway onto right along with street to reach the BS2. Many hide indoors for a warm. Hot Cockalate as Hare Razor seeks the hares for the upcoming holidays. Bitch Bandit’s hair is always kept so blue. 10 min later, the runners first hit the road to go over a skywalk down to further south along the street to the intersection, on right to another intersection. Some front runners are losing the trail and have to return to an obscure hutong on right with the help of the hare and on right into the rare southern gate of Tuanjiehu park and pronto recognizing everything is so familiar to the most hashers. The corridor, arch stone bridge, iced lake bank, rockery and moving out of eastern gate. Turning left for a section of distance to cross the street to meet the BS3. The hashers nip a new local liquor called JiangXiaoBai, no bad taste, though. GM SHM comes from nowhere as latecumer. All hasher wearing haberdashery like purple hoodie click a group photo somehow such as Blister Fister, All In, Finger My Dough, Red Snatcher, WT, LFD, SF, 007 and Just Wenhui. The hashers go around another block to loop back to the start point. The whole trail routs out a fishy fait accompli.

On On…

Pickle Boy
Beijing. Tuesday,
January 23, 2018