A small posse of hardcore hashers arrived in Gulou to brave the cold and small hash marks – after much confusion about the day of the run, and which exit to use at the subway, it is a small miracle that we made it there at all. The Hares – Ginger Jesus, Twinkle Balls and Beastly Hole – laid an intricate winding trail through the Gulou streets and Hutongs, rewarding us with two extended beer stops – at both of which we were blessed with the presence of the massive walking contingent – Black Turd and STBN YoYo. Fortunately GM (and now soon to be scouted by the NFL) Pretty Woman provided us with hot Gluwein to warm the cockles.
As can be predicted in Gulou; a trail of confusing Hutongs, busy roads, winding streets, frozen lakes and relaxing parks lay ahead of us – what no-one could have predicted was the fracas, dog snatching and heroism witnessed in the park. A hash mark pointed the eager hashers over a “grassy” patch, which was duly followed with gleeful calls of On On…. The security guard was not impressed by this. Spurred on by his hatred for small dogs, chalk marks in his park and the almost certain promotion which would be bestowed upon him for tackling such a bunch of rule breakers – he claimed control over the hound, lightly battering Beastly Hole in the process.
Like a bolt out of the blue, and witnessed by all in a Baywatch style slow motion, Pretty Woman dove in to rescue the hash dog and sprinted off – leaving the security guard and his mate to procrastinate (protest?) wildly, his promotion and dinner plans in tatters. The hares managed to select a restaurant with a perfect ‘circle terrace’ where the usual furore ensued – watched on by the restaurant staff, notably, the small dance dance revolution fan they seem to employ. At least that’s what she looked like to some of us….
A lack of virgins meant that the whole group had to drink that down-down. It also seemed there were no “long time no see’s” – either that or Pretty Woman neglected to call the hash dodgers to drink. Dry Hole was presented with this 200 run mug – or was it his 250 runs, or 225 runs – Pretty Woman certainly seemed confused about the point.
Ginger Jesus stepped in as RA in the absence of Dazed & Confused.
A rousing speech was made in which he detailed how some hashers are Good People, and some are simply Bad People – Comes on Vacation drank for reminding Ginger Jesus that to get cheap flights home he needs to have an air stewardess friend or a gay husband working for the airline. Slave for Shafts was brought before the circle for completely unjust reasons…..
Notable accusations included Black Turd being outed as actually being an Aussie & Doggie Fondue drank for letting someone ‘pack her fudge before letting her taste it’. In the spirit of the hash, and remembering one of the few rules (if there were any), all people without Hoods or Hats drank plentifully – leaving the uncircumcised few to watch from afar… Out of nowhere a bag of flour materialised and Hash regular Roman was christened and arose to be known to all as “Womb Raider” – following his Couvade, or Sympathetic Pregnancy.
On Food….. and for some, On After….
SPECIAL MENTION FOR CONFUSED HASHERS:
2nd. Price for Jolly Green Knob who called Black Turd on SUNDAY afternoon to check where the (saturday) circle will be, and the glamourous 1st. Price for Pickle Boy who actually showed up on time in the meeting point to find out that the run took place the day before!!