Beijing H3 Full Moon Hash is back, with a brand-new pandemic in tow! Unlike other horrible runs planned by shitty hares, this FMH will be a true hashocalypse; you’ll try to outrun (or outwalk) a serious infection rampaging through hashers.
So many of our beloved hashers have already fallen ill to a new disease, which, according to The Institute of Pathology and Hashochemistry, causes symptoms such as uncontrollable whining and complaining, increased participation in so called “Dry” months, and in some cases, severe diarrhoea.
Photo of the vaccine, courtesy of IPH labs.
Luckily, the fine researchers at the IPH have already found a cure, a healthy yeast-fermented malt beverage flavoured with hops, doses of which will be administered to infected hashers this Friday.
But the path towards healing is a treacherous one, and so many brave hashers will risk their sanity and face the infected head on.
Runners will try to deliver the healing potions in time, facing harder than usual open checks; if as a runner you go down the wrong way once, hoards of zombies will cum on your face (that’s how the disease spreads, in case you didn’t know) making you incapable of solving any more open checks for the rest of the leg.
In the meantime, walking hashers are split into two groups indistinguishable from each other: zombies and regular walkers. You won’t know who to trust, who’s a zombie and who’s a hasher, while both try to leave their stickers on you. The team that successfully leaves the most stickers on the opposing team members wins.
We know that anything slightly different than the thousand hashes you’ve been to confuses your brain, so the rules will be explained again during chalk talk.
Can’t be arsed: Zombies are not known for their bold fashion choices. Wear what you’ve been wearing for the last hash century, like any good zombie would.
Theme-lovers: Zombies! Torn clothing, makeup, fake wounds!
Nail Me Jesus, Lost in Sex
What; A-to-A hash (bag drop at paddy’s), and is not dog-friendly as well as not kid-friendly.
When: Friday, 17th of February.
Hash starts at 7:00 pm.
Where: Paddy O’shea’s (Dongzhimen Outer Street Branch)
D`rection to paddy`s:
Hash cash: 30 RMB covers water and beer on trail and circle.
Restaurant: on Paddy’s!
As usual, this is an adult activity in which we behave like children so expect to see nonsense, licentiousness, a modest level of drunkenness and considerable rude behaviour going on. And partial nudity. Don’t be offended; it’s jocular, we’re always like that and if you’re here you’re doing it too. For all of those reasons this isn’t a kid-friendly activity so – unless you’re table 1 – best stay home. More regular members of society are of course very welcome and can of course take part, but please be polite, be tolerant, don’t be purposefully rude and remember that if you’re running there’s no winner.