70 million years ago, all dinosaurs lived in harmony. Then, everything changed, right about when the TyRunnersaurus Dix challenged the VelociWalker to a drink off, to which the Velociwalker replied: “What the fuck is that? And why the hell are we able to speak all of a sudden?”.

Nonetheless, the rules of a drink off were explained and the Velociwalker accepted the challenge, which would’ve taken about 7 million years to complete, due to the lack of Yanjing breweries back then, which meant dinosaurs couldn’t quickly churn out shit booze in quantities large enough to alter a dinosaur’s blood-alcohol level.

According to “The On-On”, a reputable and beer-reviewed magazine of hashaeology, dinosaurs at the time invented new games to keep the competitive spirits up while they waited for their massive pints to fill, including limbo dancing, 100 metre sprints, hide and seek, skipping, and the floor is lava because meteors are bombarding the planet holy shit we’re all going to die.

Unfortunately, dinosaurs burnt to a crisp, or died of starvation because their food burnt to a crisp, before they could complete the challenges..

For this month’s Full Moon Hash, we will finish what was started aeons ago, as descendants of Tyrunnersaurus Dixes (runners) and Velociwalkers (walkers) will put on dinosaur suits and compete for eternal glory(holes) in the same legendary games their dinosaur ancestors began.

 

Dresscode:
Your oldest hash haberdashery.

Hares:
Nail Me Jesus, Lost in Sex

What:
A-to-B hash, no bag drop, and is not dog-friendly as well as not kid-friendly.

When:
Friday, 10th of March.
Gather at 7:00 PM, Hash starts at 7:30 pm sharp.

Where:
Near Guomao Subway Station – Exit 3
国贸地铁站-3口

D’erections to Meet-up Spot:

 

Hash cash: 30 RMB, covers water and beer on trail and circle.

Restaurant: on Paddy’s!

 

As usual, this is an adult activity in which we behave like children so expect to see nonsense, licentiousness, a modest level of drunkenness and considerable rude behaviour going on. There may be vomiting on this occasion. Don’t be offended; we’re always like that and if you’re here you’re doing it too. For all of those reasons this isn’t a kid-friendly activity so – unless you’re table 1 – best stay home. More regular members of society are of course very welcome and can of course take part, but be polite, don’t be purposefully rude and remember that if you’re running there’s no winner.