This weekend wants to be a return to a degree of predictability and normality. We can (probably) come and go with less grief than recently, the essentials of life are opening doors again and even travellers from outside Beijing, if such a place exists, can be accepted as apparently safe.

And, this evening it’s Hashmas!

But, before that, we need a bracing, stretching, reassuring stroll around in the early winter of the northern capital; blinking in the afternoon sun, shivering and eyes streaming in the single-figure dry-as-dust afternoon, waiting for the hares to find beer. Some things just don’t change. So, come on, get out of your houses after what seems like forever zai jia gong zuo and remember that you’re people, not resource units!

Your hares (will surely) have arranged barely acceptable levels of incompetent event management taking advantage of quiet streets – where have the people gone? What email didn’t we get? – in south central Beijing. We won’t have an expedition; we all need to follow our devotions but finish in time to get to The Main Event this evening, after all.

Who:

Your hare team and principal perpetrators of this unusual event;

  • Walking hares: Red Snatcher and Just Catrin
  • Runninghare: Munchen Ass
  • Beerbitch: no, this definitely isn’t the boxer; fend for yourself

What:

It’s an A-to-A hash, and is dog-friendly but not kid-friendly and there’s no bag drop at the meet-up point

Where:

Jianguomen underground station, exit‘A’

There will be numerous excellent marks from exit ‘A’ to the meet point, for the hard of understanding.

When:

Saturday 10 December 2022, gather at 1:00pm and the pack’s away by 1:30pm, or thereabouts. We are starting early this week – that is, WE ARE STARTING EARLY THIS WEEK!

Hash cash:

Run, circle, etc; 30rmb alone

Restaurant:

There isn’t one. On Hashmas!

As usual, this is an adult activity in which we behave like children so expect to see nonsense, licentiousness, a modest level of drunkenness and considerable rude behaviour going on. And partial nudity, even though there’s risk of frostbite. Don’t be offended; it’s jocular, we’re always like that and if you’re here you’re doing it too. For all of those reasons this isn’t a kid-friendly activity so – unless you’re table 1 – rug rats best stay home. More regular members of society are of course very welcome and can of course take part, but please be polite, be tolerant, don’t be purposefully rude and remember that if you’re running there’s no winner. Oh, and you’ll need to bring a green jiankangbao with a sufficiently-recent hesuan or we’ll be all huffy. And a mask. And a sense of humour.