Last June, the MoreMoose and BDSaM clan brought you a boxer that had EVERYTHING. Lost virgins, confused villagers, two mountains, and some of China’s ancient history. But since everyone drank too much to properly remember the days festivities and the trails of the Silver Mountain Pagoda, we’re bringing the Boxer Hash back up north to reprise the GREATEST BOXER HASH EVER!

The hares have made a new and improved route that is post-quarantine-body approved. This year, the hares promise you:

  • A completely accurate and totally not falsified history of the Silver Mountain Pagoda Forest from BDSaMateur.
  • A totally prepared co-running hare from Hebei, Finger My Dough.
  • A walking hare that promises to lay off the baijiu until after trail… ahem, Truck Stop BJ.
  • And a trail that definitely includes 0 trail crossing, 0 stairs, and 0 “oh shit” marks.

Please note that because our hares are totally awesome hash heroes, there will be a pool at the end of the run. Bring your bathing suit, some sunscreen, and your flippers to join in the post-run fun!


When:

Saturday, August 22
8月22日星期六

Time:

Meet at 10a.m.
Departure at 10:30 am. sharp

Hares:

Finger My Dough, Truck Stop BJ, BDSaMateur

Type:

A-A

What to Bring:

BATHING SUIT!!!!!

Cell phone, sunblock, running shoes(!), sense of adventure, direction, and humor.
Bring your own water bottle because the boxer doesn’t supply plastic water bottles! We will bring a big water for you to refill. ♻️❤️🌏

Registration:

We need to have numbers! So go ahead and register today!

Register today or wank away!

Hash Cash:

200RMB gets you a scenic round-trip bus ride, the Boxer trail, snacks, circle, bottomless drinks and a great dinner.

Meet Up:

XL Bar 1-022 Shoukai Bojun Nanqu, Xindong Lu (新东路首开铂郡南区1-022).

D’erections:

It’s on Xindong Lu in the complex just north of Heaven and south of Lily’s American Diner. To find it, try to go to Heaven and then go the other way.

*** IMPORTANT NOTE: The Beijing boxer hash is an off-road running hash going out to the hills around Beijing once a month. We usually aim for the second Saturday of each month but may vary depending on the hares’ availability and other variable factors we have zero control over. We do not adjust for weather conditions (bring a towel, you won’t drown) nor pollution levels (they’re lower out in the mountains anyway). It’s ok to walk but not to lallygag. Keep moving … We’re a running hash. Heart attacks are not permitted. As we are out on mountain trails, it’s easy to get lost. If you’re too stupid to bring a phone with you and you get lost, we won’t ph*cking care, nor will we ph*cing pin you either. We may or may not send a search party looking for you. That being said, we are glad to have you join us and hope you enjoy a great day! (by the way, no you won’t be back for your important dinner date bring them along instead) ***