Proletariats and Comrades, Greetings! 

Happy May One!

Pi, Life of, here. Our capitalist “friends” are in the Maldives, Xiamen, Europe, whatever because they’re away for the holiday to escape Beijing’s alleged pollution and whatever it is they don’t like about this magnificent city. Ha! Did you look outside today? (or did you miss daylight because you were at Paddy’s too long last night?)

Brilliant sunshine. Not a fucking cloud in the sky. The PM/MP/IP/MP2.5 whatever the fuck this instrument is called, was BROKEN, because the air was so clean, so fresh, je ne sais, quoi, raison d’etre, pain au chocolat, croissants, vis-à-vis…..

Haha! Curse those capitalist swine that fled Beijing, and enjoy a “bash” (bike + hash = bash) tomorrow!

DETAILS:

When:
Tomorrow (Wednesday, May 1, 2013), 10:00 a.m. Bike train leaves at 10:15 a.m. Proletariats arrive on time. Capitalist slacker pigs are late.

Where to meet:
Yonghegong (Lama Temple) Subway Stop “C”

What to bring:
yer bike and, I dunno 80 RMB-140 RMBs (token moneys from the capitalist swine). This is pay-as-you-go. Maybe, a swimsuit, if you want to take a dip in Houhai.

Our schedule:

  • 10:15 a.m. Depart Yonghegong Subway Stop “C.” Ride through the hutongs and what-not. Life of Pi set a course this morning.
     
  • 11:30 a.m.-12:00 (noon)
    [if you missed the 2-hour Tour de Beijing Bash prelude, wake up, get yer ass out of bed and meet us for lunch, okay?] Eat lunch at local, great cool, friend of Life of Pi’s noodle place. Location: From intersection of Dianmen Dajie and Dianmenwai Dajie, go north toward Gulou (Bell Tower), about 300 meters. Restaurant is at 109 Dinanwenwai Dajie….See Exhibit 1a (biz card) and 1b (restaurant pic). Tel. number: 84049397. If you’re straining your neck, staring at the Bell Tower, you’ve gone 500 meters too far.
     
  • 1:30 p.m. or so. Ride continues to Dongsishitiao, Worker’s Stadium, down to Chang’an jie, the Chairman’s Area (Ride on, comrades!), the Performing Arts Center, and ON ON to the Liulichang area. Pi, Life of, set a little course here, too.
     
  • 3:00 p.m. or so. We do tea samplings at friend’s tea house at Liulichang (where my ass was snared during recent Full Moon deal—a total set-up, and I’m sorry for those who had to see my derriere during the circle). See Exhibit 2a (biz card) and Exhibit 2b (tea store picture). Nice people, nice teas. Their tel. number: 83171496

    By the way, there are beer stops all along the way, at will. All you need to say is, “Comrades, Beer Time!”

Comrade Hashers cycle back north, near the Forbidden City, Jingshan Park, and in the hutongs near Houhai. Then, on Houhai’s Eastern Shores (sort of like Beijing’s South Beach or Hamptons), the proletariats can swim (or bathe). Algae is a good source of something that is good for your body.

Comrade hashers, after swimming (swimsuits or not, yer call), ride (sneering at Audi A8s, BWMs, Benzes (no offense, Benz Over) toward Taiyanggong, where we will have our end of day food reward.

  • 6:00 p.m. dinner at a casual Mongolian “Little Sheep” BBQ place. See Exhibit 3a (biz card) and Exhibit 3b (store front pic). How to get there if yer not on your bike, but arrive by proletariat transportation mode: Take Line 10, Exit Taiyanggong Subway Stop, Exit “C” (southeast). Walk straight out of the exit, and proceed east. You’re at a mall. KFC and McDs are on your right. Check. Keep walking. You cross a bridge. Check. You walk through one intersection with a stoplight. Check. [by the way, you’re on Taiyanggong South Street]. Ahead of you is an apartment complex compound called “UHN.” Keep walking. At the next intersection (stoplight), Turn left (go north—because the air is brilliantly clear, you’ll see IKEA in the distance). You’re on Shuguan Xi Lu (intersection of Shuguan Xi Lu and Taiyanggong Nan (south) Street. Walk one block (300 meters) north (toward IKEA) to the next intersection. Now, you’re at the intersection of Shungan Xi Lu and Taiyanggong Bei (north) Street. Turn right (east). Continue about 300 meters. Across the street from another massive apartment compound of non-proletariats, you’ll see the restaurant tucked behind a car mechanic’s shop and real estate office. Dao le! You’re there! (tel. 52032565).

My apologies for coming up with this idea lately, and not earlier. The proletariat I am, I just didn’t know if I’d have tomorrow free or not.

Hope to see you all there. Pass the word. Proletariats unite! Cycle, hash, bash! Spokes and suds for all!

May you have a happy everyday in China!

L o P

P.S. Did I mention there would be “S’mores” for a dessert offering after dinner?