According to the renowned scholarly resource Wikipedia, “The Fountain of Youth is a spring that supposedly restores the youth of anyone who drinks or bathes in its waters.” In the 16th century, famed Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de León set off to find this mythical fountain in what is now modern day Florida. He thought he had struck fountain gold when he was told by Native Americans that the Fountain of Youth was not in Florida, but rather in a land called Bimini. Frustrated, and still hoping to exploit tourists, he founded Disneyworld and cashed out. Having failed to preserve his youth, however, he died in 1521.
Half a millenium later, acclaimed hash-plorers Sink & Destroy, Just Pete and AssTounger made a startling discovery: Bimini is actually a Spanish mispronunciation of Beijing, and the Fountain of Youth is a mistranslation of 神泉, the Fountain of Gods! This month, the Beijing Boxer Hash will lead hashers on an expedition to rediscover the Fountain of Gods, traversing stunning peaks and harrowing ledges to to stake our claim. But the real questions are: when we drink from the fountain, will it taste like Yanjing? What kind of powers will this magical fountain bestow upon those who drink from it? Only hashers who join next Saturday will find out!