Wind your clocks back to December, 2003. The Beijing Boxer Hash co-founders, Pays for Sex and Cunt Runner doubled as virgin hares taking a motley looking crew of dastardly hashers around a location appropriately named The Secret Valley. Of course it snowed, the local authorities wouldn’t let people through a gate that was open during the recee, marking was poor, hashers got lost and a Beijing institution was born. Fast forward 13+ years, through kidnapped buses, hornet nest attacks, one never found lost hasher, farmers blocking trails, berserk guard dogs, umpteen treks along the Wall, yadda yadda yadda, the tails are seemingly endless … we have arrived at Beijing Boxer Hash run number 150 & it’s time for a big celebration!
When the hares went out looking for an inspired run site for the 150th running of the Boxer Hash they came upon a beautiful, formerly remote village in the hills surrounding the North Capital. Upon discovering the Empress Dowager from the Liao dynasty was born in this very village in … get this … 1150 AD! Destiny! The fates declared loud and clear, this has to be the site for the Boxer Hash 150th run.
This truly is the perfect location befitting such a momentous occasion. It is the site where the famous XingLong Buddhist temple was situated. It has stunning views of the surrounding mountains. It overlooks the plains of Beijing. The locals are the nicest people you will ever encounter on a hash trail. No angry famers threatening runners, nor local thugs highjacking buses here. Bring extra money, you can buy organic apples & peaches, mountain chicken eggs, locally grown walnuts and some of the best honey anywhere. Yes Virginia, we will be passing by the bee hives. You say you like horses? The hares have even incorporated a riding stable into the run. You like to swim in the middle of July? Bring your swim trunks. They’ve promised to refill the swimming hole by then. (OK, so you might have to return to Beijing and buy a pass to a local pool … but we tried). They even have (mostly) friendly dogs in the area!
Even the bash is at a special location. The hares have chosen an award winning restaurant. OK, we admit when we pressed them on what exactly the award was, they said they won for being the place most likely to host a bunch of ne’er do well hashers on a special anniversary run. But hey, an award is an award!
- Hares:
Beer Required, Kiss My Maple Leaf & Creamy Lips - Trail:
The best ever. Walkers’ option will be available. - When:
Saturday, July 23, 2016 - Time:
Meet at 10:00 a.m. Departure at 10:30 a.m. sharp! - Hash Cash:
150 RMB, plus an optional tip for the hares to ensure outstanding trail markings (pre-sign up required as this will be a very, very full & popular hash).
For only 50 RMB more, you can add a breakfast buffet of eggs, sausage, potatoes, bread and tomatoes plus a drink of your choice (coffee, bloody mary, etc.) at XL bar pre-departure!
(**Please make sure to note which option you choose when signing up below! Breakfast will only be guaranteed for those who indicate that option on the form.**). - You get:
The bus ride to and from the far off distant run site, a fabulous run, great company, phucloads of laughs, wonderful views, confusing marks, water for the run, lots of laughs, post-run snacks, a safe place to keep your bags while you are out on trail with your mobile, a bash at an award winning restaurant, more fund than you can imagine and finally, of course … all the beer & soft drinks you can handle. - Haberdashery:
Boxer 150 tanks designed specially by Dazed & Confused will be sold for 75 RMB each!! (see below) - Meet up:
XL Bar
1-022 Shoukai Bojun Nanqu, Xindong Lu (新东路首开铂郡南区1-022).
*Click here for Baidu map* - D’erections:
It’s on Xindong Lu in the complex just north of Heaven and south of Lily’s American Diner. To find it, try to go to Heaven and then go the other way. - Runsite:
“The hills around Beijing” - What to bring:
Proper protection — a hat, sunscreen, sun glasses, etc. Sustenance — a vessel to carry water and an energy bar on trail. Your cell phone. Running shoes. A sense of adventure. A sense of direction.
NOTE: Due to demand, only the first 50 sign-ups will be guaranteed a spot on the bus. If there’s enough demand, we may consider getting a second bus, but we need y’all wankers to sign up!! On on!!
And because we know hashers love discounts, we’ll throw in a deal on haberdashery! Any hasher who signs up AND pays (either We Chat or in person) before the hash on Sun 7/17 can buy a limited edition Boxer 150 patch + dryfit Boxer 150 tank for only 80 RMB! Bargain!! All haberdashery designed specially by Dazed & Confused. Otherwise, patches will go for 20 RMB and tanks for 75 RMB.
Register NOW!**
** IMPORTANT NOTE: THE BEIJING BOXER HASH IS AN OFF-ROAD RUNNING HASH GOING OUT TO THE HILLS AROUND BEIJING ONCE A MONTH. WE USUALLY AIM FOR THE SECOND SATURDAY OF EACH MONTH, BUT MAY VARY DEPENDING ON THE HARES’ AVAILABILITY, CURRENCY EXCHANGE FLUCTUATIONS, THE SCORE OF THE MOST RECENT BEIJING GUO’AN GAME, THE BUS DRIVER’S MOOD AND OTHER VARIABLE FACTORS WE HAVE ZERO CONTROL OVER. WE DO NOT ADJUST FOR WEATHER CONDITIONS (BRING A TOWEL, YOU WON’T DROWN) NOR POLLUTION LEVELS (THEY’RE LOWER OUT IN THE MOUNTAINS ANYWAY). IT’S OK TO WALK BUT NOT TO LALLYGAG. KEEP MOVING … WE’RE A RUNNING HASH. HEART ATTACKS ARE NOT PERMITTED. AS WE ARE OUT ON MOUNTAIN TRAILS, IT’S EASY TO GET LOST. IF YOU’RE TOO STUPID TO BRING A PHONE WITH YOU (LIM&S, LOOKING AT YOU!) AND YOU GET LOST. WE WON’T PH*CKING CARE, NOR WILL WE PH*CING PIN YOU EITHER. WE MAY OR MAY NOT SEND A SEARCH PARTY LOOKING FOR YOU. IF WE DO, CHANCES ARE IT WILL CONSIST PRIMARILY OF RABID DOGS AND HUNGRY WOLVES. THAT BEING SAID, WE ARE GLAD TO HAVE YOU JOIN US AND HOPE YOU ENJOY A GREAT DAY! (BY THE WAY, NO YOU WON’T BE BACK FOR YOUR IMPORTANT DINNER DATE BRING THEM ALONG INSTEAD)
Meeting point in Beijing
