A glorious day for an FOYW!! The hares selected an easy to find restaurant even if my Co-GM, Lil Sai Wanker, “truly underestimated the amount of time required to get to the start and thus never actually ran but did make 20 calls to Undulator for directions…he never made it past the KFC (where was Finger Licking Good??). We also had great shirts designed by D&C for all our hashers. As we handed out shirts and collected money the crowd swelled to 39 and we quickly stored bags and introduced the virgins, explained the marks and called “Open Check”. Fuck That Monkey and Undulator gave a map to the walkers and we were all off.

Quickly finding trail and cruising around Wanfujing, trying not to get lost in the crowds or pass out from the stinky tofu booths we landed at a photo op by the church on the north end of Wanfujing. We posed for some pictures and sang “Tried to go to heaven” while staring at the locked doors. Pyromaniac and one of the walkers were already lost and trying to get back on trail sp FTM helped direct them and then the runners were “Open Check – This Way”. Winding through hutong alleys we soon came upon our first beer stop and were soon joined by the walkers. We crowded into what little shade we could find and enjoyed our beverages.

Undulator was on the phone again with LSW and the crowd voted that he just stay at the restaurant and prepare for punishment in the circle. Out of nowhere Maiken appeared, a virgin from the previous days Boxer Hash, on her way to the Forbidden City. Needless to say the allure of cold beer and international humor kept her onboard for the hash and dinner. In addition we had Tom and Emily sporting their matching all black tank tops and running shorts. While being punished in the circle tey said next week would be all white…water fight anyone! We gave the 1 minute warning, paid the bill and headed out. It took us several minutes to find trail and stay on trail…half the group became lost and when Hash Cookies called for directions I said where is Undulator and she said next to me and she has no idea where we are!! FTM was lounging in a chair not the least concerned and Cocksourcerer was taking an unnecessary interest in the prison across from our second beer stop. Dry Hole decided he would help and putting his EMT training to work ran 100 meters down the alley and found them…hopefully e didn’t use all his FRB energy on that one. We quenched the lost hashers thirst with another round of cold beer and were “On On” again.

What’s Up Cock had been debating switching to the walkers trail but now it was too late. To this point the trail had been very interesting and kept the group together. The hares said we were 80% through and with a ton of hutongs in the area we should have an interesting ending but instead we went back out to the main road and straight south to the restaurant. Semi-cold beer plus D&C and LSW awaited our return and as DH pinch-hit as RA we circled up for the FOYW festivities. Several hashers were lost during the circle and one hasher had yet to return, Tap Ass. Finally joining the group along with late cumers, That Funky Shit and XXX, and quickly brought in for a down down. We had to go through 3 virgin sessions as people appeared out of nowhere so we did the high-speed version of the Beijing Song. At this point DH tried to bring Jim Mceachern in for a down down but he was gone so Pony was the stand-in and then when he called in Amnesia, he too was awol. About 10 minutes later he drove past honking his horn…beep, beep, beep-beep, beep…not sure what hash song that was.

Our 2 MBA students, Juan and Jeremy, came in for a few drinks and then decided dinner might be fun. Dirty Cut was punished for having already changed her entire outfit into non-running and non-hashing clothes and possibly a new hair style…FTM thought he should mock the Germans’ pronunciation of their leaders name and was quickly corrected by DH for being culturally insensible with a down down. As Undulator was heard saying she was “going down fast!”, Hash Cookies pleaded with the Hares to not do anything else stupid since she was having to drink with them. The Cock of Shame returned and I was forced to drink but D&C missed his opportunity since Hash Cookies is Year of the Cock. TFS presented HC with freshly baked cookies for the group to share. We finished the circle with announcements and with a quick clean up and announcements made we were “On Food”!!!

After dinner DH led the group in “Swing Low” and “some” retired for the evening…a text from D&C and 12:30AM showed that at least 10 very drunk hashers staged their own On ON…

On On

Moore Head