The hashers greet, with pilgrimage of grace in three days on end, a 1600th Hash Event, a.k.a. the 30th anniversary, from crescent through reservoir to metropolitan.

In 1600 times into the nature, who’s slopping through the trash with volition,hashers!
In 1600 times into the nature, who’s spreading the merriment with positive, hashers!
In the three decades, who’s breaking through the secularity with braveness, hashers!
In the three decades, who’s maintaining a comity of nations with coequality, hashers!

During a thunderstorm evening, the lightning splits oxygen and nitrogen molecules in the atmosphere, and they in turn can recombine into nitric oxide. This substance interacts with other chemicals in the atmosphere to form ozone, which has a sharp smell faintly reminiscent of chlorine, and the aromatic compounds combine to create the pleasant petrichor scent when rain hits the ground with plants. Yippee! Being midwifed the excitement of nearly 20 hashers for a celebration of first day.

Cockarazzi demands, “I love this smell!” he’s a latecomer though. After the hashers cut through the grove and around compounds along the mealy marks by Life of Pee as hare, have to state as to how the hashers can be through dim grove without the savvy flashlight of Little Sai Wanker, and drink at a first beer stop, it starts to rain cats and dogs, the mealy marks that B*tch Be Cool as hare just painted on the trail must be definitely washed away by rainwater. The hashers have to backtrack the Hash House, some are snappy drenched, where Irish Volunteer bar is heartwarming by supplying all hashers’s drinking for free and such a way of branding a drinking list with many hashers’s names with a good price is ingenious and attractive and view some latecomers like Ferrari and Bens Over, etc, imbibing the swishswash.

With rain jerkily, GM Comes on Vacation calls for the ensemble to go for a circle across the bar; RA Dazed&Confused’s voice sets beside the to-and-fro vehicles on the main road to hold a night ritual by toasting the hares a round on a round; Banana Hammock and CumShot standing under the umbrellas for ducking the rain step in the circle to drink up for a punishment; Pony drinks the bottle of water all the way; Bjorn Again and Pickle Boy drink in modest fashion. Dry Hole and Horny on Top keep pace with that all hashers finally howl out skyward a glimmer of bright moon to raise a curtain for a jubilation.

In the morning of the next day, under humid weather, about 50 hashers assemble at Black Sun bar to head for the environs. Black Turd accompanied by Mind the Gap and sister earlier get to there to collect the hash cash and hands out the haberdashery, a bright red tee shirt to every hasher. The interior structure of bar is like the ant’s burrow, small long entry and roomy gloomy inside and many pieces of paintings on the wall display all topics of the planets, what appears to be a black hole that is tweaking the warp of the time and the space. Who knows! We hashers wanna ride high today, anyhow. Apparently two hashers’s families take part in as visitors, Placenta’s parent and brother, Phantom’s 4 family members, expressly just 4-month youngest junior Phantom who reclines his baby chariot powered by mom Taxi RideHer. Their participation greatly graces the hasher’s commemorative activity.

Approx a hour or up of the bus leg wore on, the hares such as Pretty Woman, Kiss My Maple Leaf and Doggie Fondu show up and settle down to the hashers’s journey festivity alongside the gardenlike open lawn. After GM and hares’s the do’s and don’ts, runners and walkers in half, then, all hashers dart into the greenery as merry as the grig. Chewkacca, Life of Pee and other visitors are in the lead and soon utter sounds in diverse tones and tunes, “On On!” “Open Check!”and pass through an array of spick-and-span statues and profiles to varying degree, nothing more than the short of population, some hashers such as Red Snatcher, Little Sai Wanker, Bearded Clam, Fire in the Hole, Nut Pirate and visitors jump-run across the wild dry wash of an out-of-service dam, upon the arrival of a lakefront, conspicuous zigzag wooded bridge over the lake usher the hashers to a hilltop dotted a gazebo, there, a bird-view beckons the eyeballs of the hashers with a gaint reservoir that associates with the loch ness monster, deep, quite and misty for a cryptzoology.

Down the hill, the hashers stop by three lifelike horse statues with numerous snapshots. Pony mounts on the horse sculpture as an elbow grease for taking some pictures; There’re two live horses browsing aside as well. Unconsciously set on foot into a playground where a lot of local students play games like basketball and football. Some hashers race into a football pitch to kick somewhat with local boys, on the track, B*tch Be Cool outplays other hashers in which he is able to ride on a monocycle without effort and wins applauses; movable mini-van perfectly provides provisions like iced beers, iced soft drinks and iced schnapps at two beer stops on the nose for all hashers.

At a little woods as a circle spot, Kiss My Maple Leaf refreshingly lies in a rocky hammock hanging between two trees. Copious noshes like cookies, crackers and peanuts,etc replenishing the energy of the hashers pro tem. GM Pretty Woman and Comes on Vacation in turn anchors the show; outstanding RA Dazed&Confused plays his irreplaceable role in amusing the hashers by blowing his buglehorn; Song Master Jolly Green Knob almost performs a vocal recital, more likely a recitative soloist for all hashers’s accomplishments; a hasher crowns a glory of his Hash handle as Wee In A Bottle with the congratulations of a mixed shower of beer and flour from most hashers held by RA Dazed&Confused when he knees down and merely dresses on a short in the circle; Doggie Fondu wears a dark new running shoes, RA still found it as a result, and she has to drink by using her a shoe as noggin; What On Your Knees and visitors are tired to sit on the ground are called in the circle to drink for a perk; Pickle Boy as Beer B*tch ceaselessly pries open the cans of beers to serve the hashers; Phantom and his 3 family boys excluding his lady start to be barefoot and feel like rambling on the beach of Oz and he adds a pantomime edition in the circle, precents together with GM Comes on Vacation, all hashers chorus with body language, of Swing Low as an end.

When returning the Black Sun bar for a barbecue in the evening. Bjorn Again, Drill Me, Hard To Live With, Nowhere Man, Dragon Lady and some visitors hang a trace of weariness on the faces. The meaty food and veg recover the zip. Snot, Dry Hole, Horny on Top, Cockarazzi, Easy Boy,etc in sequence turns up in the barbecue party for a night revelry. The place where the hashers in cardinal T-shirt of hasher-dashery went to would be a stretch of ruddy dynamic.

At 2~3 PM of afternoon of the last day, still muggy air, more than 60 hashers (old and new) gather an exit of subway in way of A to B (wouldn’t come back this meeting place of the day). Now and again the local passerbyes ask what’s going on with the hashers. When GM tends to circle the hashers up for a crank-up, Beasty Hole’s sobbing out to seek her bags that are just now stolen by a local junkwoman, middle age and soon she goes to find the police and in a company with Horny on Top and fortunately she got back her bags from the police without a loss; Bearded Clam has to ride his bicycle to join the run because of behind schedule;

At the first beer stop, learn that CumShot has to cycle over a bike too because she wrenches her ankle as she made the marks on the trail in the morning; Pretty Woman cut the watermelon for quenching the thirst of hashers; coast through small and large alleys and streets, bucket through the foot bridges and bustling park, the foregoers always are those steadfast hashers such as Dry Hole, Chewkacca, Little Sai Wanker, Life of Pee and a few visitors; While the hashsrs in droves rattle pass the bars streets and areas, the shouts of joy from the roadside onlookers also ring out for the hashers. At the second beer stop, the hashers drink the supplies for a break, none of the people around hashers doesn’t look on the hashers with admiration and curiosity. Aye! Two hashers have been topless like Phantom and Pickle Boy; another local junkwoman, fifty-something, in face of the hashers, dares to pick a full icy can of beer out of plastic fridge. A hasher snatches it back at once and calmly told her that you can glean our empty water bottle and empty beer can, but if you take full one inside, it’s a stealing act;

Swiftly reach at the ending point, Paddy’s bar, suddenly fathom the whole trail is a retrospection for the past years of trail the hashers wend through in the center of city, it seems that the trash is less and less except for foul weather.

For an instant, GM Comes on Vacation summons the hashers for a circle rite in front of Paddy’s, first off, previous and incumbent 5 GMs all drink up for a cheerio,e,g, Jolly Green Knob in a white frock with swarmed patched different insignia, the frocks of Master Baker and Dazed&Confused follow an identical style as well; the eyes of hashers are gleg, wonder what time youngest junior Phantom was put on a pair of tiny red embroidered sneaker, “new shoes!” many hashers exclaim with one voice, certainly daddy ought to take his shoe’s drink in the circle, facetious Phantom drinks from not only his running shoe, but also using his sock to filter the beer from his running shoe to his mouth; Dazed&Confused changes his variety to tickle the hashers’s fancies; Snot and Hard To Live With lip the cigar like big boss; a lap on a lap of cheers for hares, for Long Time No Sees, for mug holders, for Latecomers, for families comers, and so on, Jolly Green Knob is on his knee for Commando and her peer in the circle while he sings related song that might stir up his feeling; Nowhere Man is awarded a wet blue underwear; CumShot and Black Turd keep same line of sight because they have to be sedentary; most of hashers such as B*tch Be Cool, Placenta, AutoBlow, Pony, Pony Rider, Wee In A Bottle, Kiss My Maple Leaf, Ferrari, Doggie Fondu (Just coming for a circle), Creamy Lips, Mind the Gap,etc boost the morale of the hosts/hostesses; the passerbyes all linger for awhile; misunderstanding and incomprehension give way to the chortles and cackles.

Around 30 hashers tuck into an Indian grub, yummy! and keep all mouths silent in perspective. All of a sudden, Waiting For It appears at the restaurant, leaning on a stick as another injured hasher, she instead hurt her foot at her workplace, Look! As with sheding light on a kind of Hash spirit through and through. After the sumptuous meal, it turns out to be the chorus of Swing Low led by Phantom vividly, who seems a doppelganger or a soul of Hash, reputedly his speed of doing the thing of his own accord is faster than the speed of light. Perhaps the wind of seance is whipping up. What kind of thing is worthwhile of pounding away at repeatedly for 1600 times within 30 years and more? Your nether man would answer it!

On On!
Pickle Boy
July 3, 2013