How do you get hashers from 10 years ago to show up? Tell them we are have a farewell brunch for the beloved Reverend Slackbladder followed by a hash (Asshole Sucker, Silky Fag, Old Peculiar, Sheepshagger, etc). Of course the RSB has only been here 5 years…maybe everyone just wanted a drink. The RSB decided to have the brunch at Nola’s (based on Dry Hole’s recommendation) only to be disappointed to discover that the restaurant was New Orleans and Low Country cuisine, both of which are AMERICAN (America Fuck Yea…). He didn’t seem to mind once he started in on his Pork Po’Boy sandwich and slaw. As the group grew to include 25 hashers we finally got food for everyone but hashers just kept coming. As I stood on the porch looking down to the street I saw Pussy Problem strolling the embassy area in hash gear (luckily today he wore a shirt that didn’t make his nipples hurt). Buddah and Xiuxiu arrived with enormous suitcases for the Interhash and sat down for some good southern cooking. Our groups swelled to 40 hashers and an additional 3-5 folks that just came to say “hey” to the RSB. We moved downstairs and gave instructions to the virgins.
Lately Snot loves to go solo (at least when he hares) and promised an amazing course and one that would be 8-9K (all of us with GPS watches recorded 12K). We headed out and Snot managed to use 3 levels of crisscrossed roads, sidewalks, over and under passes to keep us in a small radius. As we approached beer stop number 1 (many of us ran passed due to the shop owner sitting on her stool on top of the “BBB” chalk mark, Snot explained how our usual beer stop in this part of town was now closed. Snot battled through and found a new stop. At this point we were still together but as we headed out and zigzagged we lost one of the Virgins, Tim, only to have him reappear at the 2nd beer stop 30 minutes later. Snot got smart and wrote the Chinese name of the shop on the light pole by the street but what do hashers do…they go for the closest and first beer available which was the wrong shop!! Snot came running up and quickly moved the group next door for some ice-cold beer and water. Fortunately we were close to “On Home” as the group was quickly becoming dehydrated. Eric, one of Bostonian visitors, wasn’t about to let that happen and quickly drank two beers himself…he even finished the run as an FRB – That is dedication.
Once “home” we acquired the cold beer and began the circle with introductions of our Virgins and a hell uva lot of LTNS, not to mention punishing the hare. 10 run patches went to Clueless, Placenta and Old Peculiar. The RSB stepped up for his 2nd to last performance, visibly saddened, but carrying an inflatable hand??? Never really understood the point and neither did Reeyne, whom he tasked with it’s use. He also read an endearing note he was writing his Mother about his excessive alcohol consumption (good thing he is applying for work in Rio – they never drink there). Fortunately his jokes worked better and he was on the way with abuse of the Germans vs. English (that one came back to haunt him); FTM for using buses on the “uphill parts” of his “green” charity bicycle ride in western China; Buddah for telling D&C that when he is around the women forget about all the other men; Lil Sai Kick and FLG for “bumping and grinding” at the brunch; and Bottom’s Up for falling asleep at the brunch. Since FTM had been performing at the 2nd beer stop the RSB had him stand on his hands while balancing two beer cups on his feet, luckily he used small cups and not bottles as the first quickly fell on the asphalt. He also gave a whispering down down to sheepshagger and his daughter for a suggested name of “Lady Ga Ga” after D&C commented “she is almost human”. Placenta dropped his pants so everyone could enjoy the Vodka on his boxers. With that we turned it over to accusations. This would turn out to last 45 minutes and deplete us of all the beer.
With next week being a celebration of American Independence I asked all Americans to enter the circle and for 2 to step forward to hare this important hash…FTM and Cock Lobster immediately said “we got this” and we were “On Food” having killed 3 cases of circle beer and eventually finishing a 4th case with dinner at 3 G Emperor.
BTW – While returning the empty beers Snot and the store owner had what this GM witnessed as an all out nuclear war and like that style of battle sounds more interesting than it actually turns out…hats off to Snot for holding his ground, driving some potential customers away and getting the shop keep to give us a little more money back.
BTW (Part 2) – The remaining hashers headed to Tim’s to watch the football and DRINK…10 pitchers of margarita later (people told us it was close to 2:30AM) we stumbled home. Lil Sai Kick had a morning exam and crashed on D&C’s couch only to wake up an hour late (they still let him take the exam) and he promised us he aced it.
On On
Moore Head
Check the pictures!