Being Santa isn’t a family business as many mistakenly believe. You have to be a particular brand of overly creepy and/or no lifer and in the possession of time and space bending knowledge to be able to carry out your stalking (stocking?)-themed activities.
Once upon a time, three future hashers, for reasons totally not related to dress up fetishes, applied and spectacularly failed to become Santa… either because training to be nice when you’re freezing your ass off proved too much for them to handle or their little degenerate souls mistook naughty for praise which is kind of the opposite of what the North Pole stands for.
Every wrong decision the three Santa-rejects made in their lives since then miraculously lead them to be here in Beijing, at this time of the year, with you lonely expat hasher away from home, and you, Chinese hasher who doesn’t give a fuck. Ah, Christmas miracles. Those failed Santas, also known as Super Squirter, Pekinsky Bikinisky and Algae Bra will be the hares!…. to guide you through the smoggy greyland and reward you for being naughty with beer and a spanking (on request).
Join us on Sunday, 25th December for a Very Hashy Christmas!