The oldest recorded sighting of a unicorn was by Adam in the Garden of Eden. Recent unicorn sights have been proclaimed in Canada, North Korea, and most recently, Taiyanggong. Their blood, tears, and milk are known to have remarkable healing properties and potent aphrodisiac qualities. Because Churn Me On needs as much help as she can get in the romance department, she has requested that we look for them on her birthday.

Join the hares for a “unicorn safari” to ride the wave of anticipated interest in the area to find this magical creature of lore.

These women horse (as Cock-Chain lovingly calls them) are a symbol of ferociousness, freedom, power, and speed so get your running shoes ready. Wear as many colors of the rainbow as you can so that we can catch their attention.


Minaj à trois, Churn me on, Cockchain


Cinco de Mayo! (Saturday, May 5th)


Meet at 2:30 p.m. Run starts at 3 p.m.

Hash Cash:

30 RMB run/walk and circle
80 RMB run/walk, circle, and dinner

Meet up:

阿婆春饼(西坝河东里店) Apo Spring Roll (Xibahe Dongli Branch)


Get off a Taiyanggong (Line 10) exit C.
Walk down Taiyanggong Middle Road for about 400 meters, cross the river, and make a left.
After another 225 meters make the first right after the gated community.