Join us, on this fine 3rd of July, as we mark 240 years since a rebellious group of ungrateful ne’er-do-wells cruelly rejected the love and protection of their mother country so they could have a tea party and avoid paying their taxes.
Commiserate with unrepentant British imperialists AssTonguer and LickItToRide as they demand an apology from token American Dry Hole for his jumped-up colony’s disobedience and disloyalty to Her Majesty The Queen!
Come one, come all, come celebrate this Independence Day – in honour of Captain Steve Hiller (aka Will Smith) and poor, confused crop duster Russell Casse, who gave his life in the War of 1996 so that we might live to see another day (Hello, boys! I’m baaaack!)
Come quick, before Donald Trump gets in and there’s nothing left to celebrate!
Be sure to wear your best red, white and blue American apparel underwear and look forward to a supersized US-style dinner at the end – Big Macs all round!*
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all HASHERS are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights… life, liberty and the pursuit of FREE BEER!”
*DISCLAIMER – an alternative processed meat product may be provided in lieu of a Big Mac. (Or meat-free product for those vagatarians among us.) Yum!