Beijing’s Biggest Erections Run a.k.a. Skyscraper Run. Size matters. Mine is bigger than yours. etc. etc.

In England we have a saying: Big car, small willy.

I’m told there’s no equivalent in Chinese, but the same goes for big buildings, right?

As we know (as we know), Beijing’s Central Business District (CBD) has 13 of the capital’s 14 tallest skyscrapers. This week’s run will take us past all of them. Then we will head through a nice park where we can survey their upright majesty (not His Royal Vagina) from afar.

There will be a quick-fire quiz on big erections at one of the beer stops, with shots of Caribbean rum for the first correct answers.

There will be a photo contest, guaranteed to make you pour beer over yourself. Bring your camera phones. The prize for the winner will be a superb BH3 trucker’s hat, kindly donated by RedSnatcher.

In short, it will be a lovely day, making the most of the cooler weather to check out the CBD and its mega-tall skyscrapers, before enjoying a great bash down by the canal.


Walking hare: John the Baptist

Running hare; Pickle Boy, Little Red Shittinghood


Saturday August 12th 2023, 2:30pm meet-up, 3:00pm start


A to B (no bag drop available); 5km walking, 10km running

Hashcash: 30 rmb for run and circle only, 105 rmb for run, circle and dinner afterwards

Meet up:

At the top of CBD History Cultural Park (CBD 历史文化公园)

Big D’erections:

Subway Line 10, Jintaixizhao Station Exit A (金台夕照地铁站 A出口), walk 200m west along Jinghua Street (景华街)before climbing to the top of the CBD History Cultural Park.


A pin for the starting point will be posted on the morning of the run.

As usual, this is an adult activity in which we behave like children so expect to see nonsense, licentiousness, a modest level of drunkenness and considerable rude behaviour going on. There may be vomiting on this occasion. Don’t be offended; we’re always like that and if you’re here you’re doing it too. For all of those reasons this isn’t a kid-friendly activity so – unless you’re table 1 – best stay home. More regular members of society are of course very welcome and can of course take part, but be polite, don’t be purposefully rude and remember that if you’re running there’s no winner.