There once was a rabbit named Oscar who had a very happy family. Oscar had 25 children and a beautiful wife and they all lived in a beautiful green pasture with flowers and sunshine shimmering down on them all day long.Oscar was a very hard worker and loved his family very much and would do everything he could to take care of them. Oscar would grow carrots and other vegetables in the family garden and would sing songs as he made his family stew in the cold evening nights.  After dinner Oscar would gather his family in the living room and tell stories about his childhood and how life on the pasture used to be when he was young. Nearby his wife would be knitting scarves and sweaters for all the children as she’d gently hum songs to herself.

After story time Oscar and his wife would tuck all his 25 children into bed and give them each a kiss and leave a warm glass of milk by their bedside.

Oscar would then turn off the lights wish them all pleasant dreams as he and his wife went to sleep in their bedroom.

There was a farm way down the hill near the pasture and Oscar would often go and visit the other animals for some company when he had a bit of free time after working in his garden.

“Hello Mister Cow, how is the farm today?” Oscar would ask.

“Oh, it’s ok, the goats are being loud but at least there’s a bit of sunshine” Mister Cow replied.

“Are the turkeys around today?” Oscar asked.

“They might be in the barn, but I haven’t seen them since yesterday.”

“Ok, I just need to borrow a bit of parsley from them.” Oscar said as he strode towards the barn.

Oscar went into the barn and immediately noticed how dark and empty it was. He could hear the wood beams of the barn creaking as the wind gently blew across its frame.

A cool and chilling sensation suddenly filled Oscars body as he walked further into the barn calling for the roosters.

“Roosters? Are you here? Anybody?” Oscar shouted out nervously.

Oscar started to turn around and exit the barn as he heard a whisper.


Oscar turned around and tried to look for where the voice was coming from.

He then heard the voice again.

“Rabbit come here”

He then saw in the far back corner of the barn the silhouette of a house cat gently waving its tail.

Oscar stood still as he tried to decide his next move.

“What…..what do you want?” Oscar asked with increasing hesitation.

“I don’t want anything from you rabbit, but I think you should know something. Something that is of great importance to you and to your family.” The cat said calmly.

“My…….my…my family? What about my family? What are you talking about?” Oscar said, his voice now heightening.

“I can’t say much but what I can offer is protection, I have a team that can help you but it will come at a price”. The cat said with a slight grin.

“Pro….pro….protection..why on earth would my family need protection?” Oscar said as his body started shaking.

“I can’t say, you just need to trust me. 100 carrots and 10 hand knit scarves, cat sized, and you will receive the full protection you need.” The cat said confidently.

“100 Carrots! That’s more than I grow in 6 months. I can’t possibly find that by today!” Oscar said defiantly.

“Well….that’s the price.” the cat said with a smile.

Oscar exhaled and then turned around and started exiting the barn as he heard the cats voice call back to him.

“A Wolf, there’s a wolf that is coming to eat you. Tonight.” The cat called out loudly.

Oscar then again froze in place as he started to panic.

“A……..a wolf……” Oscar said shaking once again.

“A wolf…. a wolf bigger than I’ve ever seen before. I’m just trying to look out for you.”

“I don’t believe you. There haven’t been wolves in this area for years. You just want my carrots. I can protect my own family thank you very much. I don’t need you anyways” Oscar said as he left the barn for good.

Oscar than emerged from the dark barn and once again saw the bright sunshine and flowers as well as the other animals on the farm.

He walked a bit ahead but then slowed down and again turned around. He looked at the giant red barn with the wind vane on top circling around sporadically. He then looked at the giant black void of the inside of the barn and stared at it for a few moments. The wind continued to blow across his fur as he heard the other farm animals murmuring.

He shook his head and turned around he then climbed up the tall grassy hill until he could once again see his family playing outside their home.

He opened the door and then went directly to sit on the chair near the fireplace.

He listened to the fireplace crackle as he sat with his thoughts. His wife came inside the home and saw him sitting alone. She could immediately tell something was bothering him. She got down to him and put her paws on his and asked him if he was okay.

“I’m……I’m fine….I just need some time alone.” Oscar said grumbling.

“Are….are you sure….you seem worried. Is there anything I can get for you? Some warm milk?” she asked.

“No….I’m sorry but I just need to be alone for now” Oscar said as he stared into the fire place pensively.

His wife Greta then got up and put some of the vegetables from outside away in the kitchen.

After a while Greta then called out for the children to come back inside and get ready for dinner. The children then rushed inside and started to wash their hands from playing outside all day long.

The children then all helped arrange the plates at the table and then brought out the big plates of vegetables to be served.

The family then all sat down with Oscar and Greta at the head of the table. The family bowed their heads for prayer and then finished with an “Amen” all in unison.

The children all started grabbing for the food as Oscar still sat solemnly, lost in his own thoughts.

The children’s delightful chatter and silverware clanking filled the room as Greta looked at her husband’s pale face.

“Oscar, honey, you need to eat. You’ve had a long day.”

“I….I will….I just……just leave me alone please… I’m sorry” Oscar replied starting to get frustrated.

“But honey…..” Greta said touching his paw.

“I said LEAVE ME ALONE!” Oscar said shouting as he got up and stormed off to their bedroom, slamming the door shut.

The children and sat silently frozen as they looked at their mother.

“Children…’s ok…your father is just…” Greta said panicking a bit, looking towards the bedroom door.

The children still sat motionless as they wondered what to do next.

Greta then directed the children to continue eating as they quietly began to take a few small bites of their vegetables.

The fire in the fireplace then began to slowly simmer out and the children brought their plates to the kitchen sink. Greta ushered the children into their beds without a story.  Greta was about to turn off the lights of the children’s bedroom when Little Peter’s voice called out from the corner of the room.

“Mommy….can I have a warm glass of milk? Pleeeasssse…”

Greta sighed and softly said, “Sure sweetie”.

Greta then went and got a warm glass of milk and set it on Little Peter’s nightstand. Greta gave him a kiss on his forehead and tucked him into bed. She turned of the children’s bedroom lights and then went into her own bedroom.

She layed down opposite of husband as he was curled up isolated his own side.

She turned off the lights and tried to get some rest.

Oscar hadn’t slept a bit and his eyes were now open wide in the pitch-black darkness of his bedroom.

He listened to the leaves rustling in the wind outside his bedroom window and could slowly hear the dripping of the faucet of the kitchen sink.

He felt his chest tighten and he rolled to lay on his back to try to regulate his breathing.

The alarm clock in his room was ticking and he tried to count the hours, minutes, and seconds until sunrise.

Suddenly he heard something deep in the distance that made his paws curl.

The echoing howl of a wolf, as clear as could be.

Oscar sat up in his bed and listened again.

Once more he could hear the howling of the wolf, now seemingly louder.

He looked at his wife still fast asleep.

“Greta” he whispered. Greta remained asleep.

He then reached over to his wife and shook her.

“Greta, wake up”

Greta then cracked opened her eyes and gazed at her husband.

“What is it?”

“Listen, listen for the noise”

Oscar said anxiously.

The two rabbits sat in the darkness waiting to hear something. Suddenly Oscar heard the wolf howling again.

“THERE IT IS… THERE IT IS…..THE WOLF! HE’S COMING TO KILL OUR ENTIRE FAMILY!” Oscar shouted as he stood up from the bed, tears now starting to stream down his face.

“I…..I don’t hear anything…what…..what are you talking about?” Greta said perplexed.


“Oscar! What in the world are you talking about?!” Greta said, but Oscar was already beginning to put his slippers on.

Oscar turned on their bedroom lights and walked into the hallway. He walked into thr children’s bedroom and turned on all of their lights.

“Children…I…. can’t explain it to you right now but we need to leave…..we….we need to get going….we need to hide….it’s like a game we need to hide”

The children started to open their eyes and looked around confused.

Little Sarah sat up in her bed. “But Daddy? I don’t understand, why do we have to leave?” Sarah asked.

Oscar looked over at Sarah worried and started to stutter. “I…I….please just get your clothes on we need to go now, and HURRY!”

Greta then walked into the children’s bedroom.

“Oscar! You’re being ridiculous, you’re scaring the children!”

Little Suzie was then starting to cry as Greta rushed over to comfort her.

About half the children were starting to get ready, putting their outside jackets on while some of the smaller children still sat perplexed.

Oscar then started to shuffle his kids outside the bedroom door as he made eye contact with Greta, still trying to comfort Little Suzie.


Greta looked over at her husband and then back at little Suzie.

She closed her eyes for a moment and then picked little Suzie out of the bed.

Greta got the rest of the children dressed and led them out of the bedroom.

Greta put a few carrots in a basket and then walked with her family out into the cold nighttime air.

Oscar then began to lead his family around the back of the family home and into the dark deep forest behind it.

“Come along kids. We need to hurry. I know a place in the woods where we can hide. A nice little burrow, I’ve left some carrots there, we just have to wait until morning then we can return home. There’s no need to worry, we’ll be back soon.”

A few more of the children could be heard sniffling as Oscar lead the way and Greta behind trying to guide the children to follow him.

The family entered the cryptic and gloomy forest. Owls could be heard cooing and insects could be felt slithering through the mud as they marched deeper into the woods.

A sliver of moonlight was enough to help guide Oscar to where he planned to go as he would periodically shout encouragement to the rest of his family.

Greta held Little Suzies hand walked with her while carrying Baby Gene in a nap sack.

The sticks on the forest floor crunched under the family’s paws with Oscar reminding them to stay as quiet as possible.

“Daddy, where are we going” Little Timmy then asked his father.

“Somewhere safe, it’s just until morning” Oscar said nervously.

Oscar then looked all around. The area suddenly didn’t seem familiar at all. He looked back at Greta and the children and then back around to the forest ahead.

“Honey…do you know where you’re….” Greta tried to ask.

“Yes! Yes I know where we’re going..of course I know where we’re going” Oscar said a bit out of breath.

Oscar’s chest then began to tighten a bit and his vision began to blur and spin.

“I….I know where we’re….”

Then something ripped through Oscar’s body that sent him crumbling to his knees. He could hear the howling of the wolf.. as close as it had ever been before.

His eyes opened as wide as saucers he stared into the distance.

“Honey….Oscar!” Greta shouted.

“We have to…we have to……” Oscar mumbled.

“Daddy….daddy are you ok” Little Timmy asked worried, pushing his father’s arm gently.

“Daddy” Little Timmy continued to call out.

Oscar finally got up to his feet.

“We have to run. THIS WAY! COME ON!”

Oscar then grabbed Timmy’s hand and began to sprint deeper into the first, with Timmy barely able to keep up.

“Oscar! Oscar! Wait! Where are you going!” Greta could be heard shouting from behind.

Oscar looked behind him as he saw his family trying to reach him.

“Come on, we’re…we’re almost there.” Oscar said completely out of breath.

The family continued to run through the darkness of the forest, occasionally tripping over branches and ripping their clothes.

“Please children..we’re…we’re almost there” Oscar said barely able to see anything ahead of him.

“Oscar! Jane! You need to carry Jane! She’s still behind us she can’t walk anymore!”

Oscar then looked behind him and could see his small daughter in the distance. He turned around and saw Timmy standing alone frightened.

Oscar then marched back in the direction of Jane and picked her up. As soon as she was in his arms Oscar once again heard the sound of the Wolf, so close it felt like it was breathing down his neck”

“RUNNNNNNNN!” Oscar shouted as he ran with Jane in his arms.

He grew delirious and could only see faint blurry figments of his family ahead of him.

They kept running as Oscar began to hear the howling for the wolf growing distant.

“We….I think….I think…we’re safe” Oscar said breathlessly.

The family was still running when Oscar saw something in the distance. A huge mountain range and a great valley beneath it. He recognized the mountains as those he used to climb with his friends when he was younger.  For a second, he became transfixed by their beauty. A sense of calm washed over him as he let himself escape into a distant haze, released from his fear and paranoia.

The air was still dark and frigid but the grown began to glow with the light from the moon and stars and the family began to exit the forest still running at full speed.

Then something caught Oscar’s eye and he tried to call out with the last of his gasping breath.

Within the darkness Greta and the children were unable to see the ridge line of the cliff and continued their pace.

Before Oscar could get a word out, he saw his children, one by one cascading over the cliff and out of sight. Oscar could then hear Greta screaming and then fading into the distance.

As Oscar’s legs gave out from under him, he tripped and then rolled off of the cliff himself.

With Jane in his left arm, he tried to grab anything with his right. As he was completely off of the cliff, he managed clutch to a branch with his right hand.

He then looked to his left and saw Jane grasping to the sleeve on his left arm.

Jane started screaming as Oscar began to place exactly where he was.

“I….I got you honey….”, Oscar shouted as he looked up at top of the cliff a few feet above him.

Jane continued to scream and Oscar tried to lift himself up with his right arm.

He used all his strength but could barely muster anything.

He took a deep breath and looked around for anything that could help him.

Suddenly he could hear a ripping sound in his left sleeve and looked to see Jane lowering below him.

Jane screamed louder as Oscar tried again to pull her up.

The shirt then ripped completely and Jane’s figure faded into the distance.

Oscar screamed and cried. Oscar then used both hands to pull himself up and then rolled onto the grass of the cliff.

Oscar continued to cry as the bright pink haze of the sunrise began to break through the mountain tops.

After another few hours Oscar got up and stumbled his way back to his home. He reached his front door and looked out to the farm below the pasture.

He entered his home and immediately the grey empty interior consumed him.

He walked into his bedroom and laid on his bed where he didn’t leave for over three weeks.

Eventually the leaves on the trees outside began to fall and gloom of winter began to set in. Most days Oscar would just make himself some lemon grass tea and sit and stare at the fireplace until dusk where he would curl into bed and cry himself to sleep.  His supply of carrots was wearing thin and he didn’t have the energy to try to collect any other nuts or berries from the forest.  The snow now piled up around his house and through the crack in his window he could still see the farm animals below walking around along with a bit of smoke from the famers chimney.

The winter was long and Oscar’s heart continued to ache.It had been over 5 months since that night and Oscar had still yet to enter his children’s old bedroom.  Oscar made a few attempts to write about his life story in his journal would always leave the pages stained with tears whenever he tried to recall his life with his family.

The snow above his house piled up further and its weight began to bend the fortifying beams of the house a bit.

All Oscar wanted to do was sit in his house and wait. He didn’t know what he was waiting for but hoped it was something that could end his suffering. The snow finally piled up enough where the entire window was covered and he could no longer see the old farm below the pasture. He once again turned off the lights and tried to get a bit of sleep.

One day he woke up and the sunlight cracked through the window and hit his eyes.He opened his eyes and could see the icicles dripping quickly.  He could hear birds chirping in the distance and the roosters crowing down by the farm.  He looked outside his bedroom window and saw most of the grassy pasture had emerged from the melting snow.  He went to his kitchen and made himself some warm milk and sat beside the fireplace.

Oscar finished his milk and put on his jacket oldest jacket, tattered with rips and assorted patches. He walked to the front door of his home and put his paw on the door knob. He put his head down for a few moments and took a few deep breaths.  He put his paw in his packet and felt around, finding a piece of folded up paper.  He opened the paper and saw a drawing of a chicken his daughter Sarah and drawn for him the year before.  He took a few moments to take in the drawing and then put it back in his pocket.

Oscar then opened the door and walked into the sunshine of spring.

Oscar walked along the road, keeping his head down and not wanting to talk to anyone of be noticed. He walked past the farm but avoided eye contact with anyone there. The flowers on the trees were just beginning to bud and birds continued to fly across the branches.

The road was mostly empty with an occasional pedestrian or horse Oscar still trying to keep a low profile along his walk.

Oscar continued along his walk for a few more hours, trying admire the trees and scenery, anything to keep his mind from drifting back home.

After a while longer Oscar began to hear something rather unusual, something he hadn’t heard in a long long time.  It was quiet at first but as he walked down the road it got clearer and louder.   He could hear a group of animals singing and as he got closer, he could see that a large group of animals was all standing in a circle holding bottles and cans.  Frogs, Ducks, Chickens, Pigs, Salamanders all singing songs and laughing with each other.

Oscar walked closer to the group of animals and tried to observe them from a distance. After a few minutes on of the frogs noticed Oscar and called out to him.

“Rabbit! Hey Rabbit! Do you want a beer?”

Oscar walked closer to the group and looked around timidly.

“Beer? What’s Beer?”, Oscar asked nervously.

“It’s delicious! You’ll love it!”, one of the ducks shouted loudly as a goat handed Oscar a bubbly golden colored drink in a tall glass mug.

Oscar then took a small sip of the drink and noticed the slight bitter taste. He licked his lips and took another drink.

“Do you like it?” one of the pigs asked.

“Yeah it’s…’s good”, Oscar said with a slight smile on his face.

Oscar then looked all around the big group of animals still confused exactly where he was.

“So, who are you guys?”, Oscar asked no one in particular.

“Where the Hash House Harriers! We’re a drinking club with a hopping, jumping, galloping problem!” one of the Turtles shouted excitedly.

“The Hash House…..”

“Harriers!” all the animals shouted in unison.

“We run around for a bit and at the end sing silly songs and drink beer. It’s the BEST!”, one of the ducks said.

“and we all have have silly names. My name’s 2 Drunk 2 Cum, it’ll make more sense later”, a frog explained excitedly.

“How do I join?” Oscar asked.

“You already have! Just have a beer with us you’re already here anyways.” a chicken said cheerfully.

Oscar looked around a bit unsure of himself but was happy to be around other animals for the first time in a long time. He took another sip of his beer and began to feel a bit better and little more relaxed.

Then suddenly one of the frogs walked into the middle of the circle and put his beer to his forehead and tried to get the attention of all of the other animals in the circle.

“I’d like to call the virgin into the circle”

The frog then pointed his elbow at Oscar, Oscar pointing at himself to make sure that he was the one being pointed at.

Oscar then walked anxiously into the center of the circle gazing at all the smiling facing laughing and staring at him, not sure what he should do or say.

The frog then exclaimed loudly, continuing his point.

“While our new hasher certainly doesn’t seem to be much of a beer drinker, I think he has one important quality that we at Hash House Harriers are always looking for.So, I ask everyone here in the circle today these questions. Who makes the trails for us every week? Who do we blame for all of our problems rain or shine, shitty tail or not? Who brings us the beer, the most important part of the Hash?” the frog shouts as he raises up his glass of beer and then takes a drink from it.

“THE HARES!!!” all of the animals shout in unison.

“That’s right, the Hares!”, the frog shouts as he hops up onto Oscar’s shoulder and puts his arm around him.

“Drink it down, down, down, down, down!” Oscar says as every animal in the circle takes a drink from their glasses.

Oscar still wasn’t sure where he was or where all these animals came from but for the first time in a long time, he started to feel like a little bit of the weight on him was taken off.

The animals again started to break out singing into some strange song Oscar didn’t know the lyrics but he tried to mumble along and took a few more sips of his beer.



Pukelid’s Taxivomitry, Daddy Issues


A to A

Bag Drop Available


Saturday, January 13th, 2024


Meet at 1:30pm, run starts at 2pm

Hash Cash:

30 RMB: Beer Stops & Circle

No Dinner


Jing-A Taproom Sanyuanqiao

京A  三元桥

S05 Instreet Phoenix Galleria Mall Sanyuanqiao

Chaoyang District


三元桥凤凰汇里巷S05 In Street