Bloody oath, ya guns! This Straya Day, your bastard hares have plotted a trail that’s gonna be as epic as a meat pie! Get ready for a bonzer piss-up; buckley’s chance of ending up as dry as a dead dingo’s donger. It’ll be a deadset ripper, winding through the guts of Beijing faster than a possum up a gum tree in a Holden.

The trail will have more twists than a croc’s tail. And fair suck of the sauce bottle, we’re planning something special. This is going to be a real dinki-di experience that’ll lead you on a drunken wallaby’s walkabout.

Now, for all you virgins, here’s the go – we’re a mob that loves a good laugh, a good run, and a bloody good suck on a tinny. There’s fuck-all reason not to turn up unless you’re a piker or as mad as a cut snake. And if you’re worried about the pace, don’t be. Whether you’re sprinting like a roo or ambling like a wombat, you’re welcome here.

The trail? Oh, it’s gonna be as exciting as a boxing match with a kangaroo – hooning by the gullies and billabongs of the Liangma, through the bush tracks, until you reckon you’ve seen every nook and cranny of this city. If you find yourself going walkabout, just listen for the sounds of ribaldry and the occasional ‘On-On!’

And speaking of ‘On-On’, we’ll be finishing up at Paddy O’Shea’s, a watering hole that knows how to handle a dog’s breakfast like ours. You’ll find enough piss there to fill Sydney Harbour and it’ll flow as freely as the Yarra, while you’re bogging in to some true blue Aussie tucker, Vegemite sangers.

But be warned, any of you lot fucking whinging like a Pom will face some vicious accusations. Hashers have a way of dealing with wankers.

Expect dunny stops galore – because let’s face it, with all the coldies we’ll be downing, nature will be calling more than your old lady when you first moved out.

So cobbers, pull up your socks, slap on your best thongs, and join us for a day of absolute, no-holds-barred, Straya-style madness. You’d be a few roos loose in the top paddock to miss it

On-On, you magnificent dags, and see you at the Liangma for a frog in a sock that’s gonna be as unforgettable as a brown snake in ya swimming pool!

See you there, you flaming galahs! Oi Oi Oi!

Hash cash:

30rmb (run/walk, beer stops, circle)

105rmb (run/walk, beer stops, circle, and dinner)

Walking Hare:

Hopping Mad

Running Hares:

Just Cum Inside, Singaporn Star

Trail:

Trail is A-A, bag can be dropped at restaurant.

When:

Saturday, 27th January

1:30pm meet-up, 2:00pm start

Meet up:

餐厅:小街47號江湖菜(东直门店)

地址:东城区东直门外小街47号

Name of Restaurant:  Alley 47 Jianghu Cai

Address:  Dongzhimen Outer Alley No. 47, Dongcheng District

D’erections to meet up spot (via subway):

Dongzhimen (东直门) Station, Exit E.

Walk east appx 400 meters on Dongzhimen Outer Street (东直门外大街), then turn left on Dongzhimen Outer Alley (东直门外小街).

Follow the road appx 150 meters, then turn right to stay on Dongzhimen Outer Alley.

Continue to follow the road appx 300 meters, then find the resto on the left side of the road.

On-after:

Paddy’s

As usual, this is an adult activity in which we behave like children so expect to see nonsense, licentiousness, a modest level of drunkenness and considerable rude behaviour going on. There may be vomiting on this occasion. Don’t be offended; we’re always like that and if you’re here you’re doing it too. For all of those reasons this isn’t a kid-friendly activity so – unless you’re table 1 – best stay home. More regular members of society are of course very welcome and can of course take part, but be polite, don’t be purposefully rude and remember that if you’re running there’s no winner.