I never read anyone else’s write-ups, but I expect you to read mine.
After 40 years of hashing here are some insights, in random order.
The 34 Pillars of Hashing
1. There’s nothing like a hash gathering; I wont compare it to sex, but it lasts longer.
2. The height of bad manners is to have sex with a fellow hasher less than 3 times.
3. Am I a perfect hasher? No! But am I striving to be a better person and a better hasher every day? Also, no.
4.Q:Who should be the next GM? A:Difficult to say, it’s like asking which lunatic should run the asylum.
5. Don’t pay for sex,join the hash and get it for free.
6. A harriette would rather have a small part of a brilliant hasher than the whole of an ordinary one.
7. There once was a harriette called Bright
Whose speed was faster than light,
She departed one day in a relative way
And returned the previous night.
8. Sometimes the unkempt appearance of hashers, our hypnotic T-shirts, our blood-shot eyes and our psychotic demeanor give us the appearance of being the road-crew of a really shitty Rock’n’roll band.
9. Hashing is like entering a fart zone: You enter at your own risk.
10. He’s qualified to be a hasher because he has absolutely no talent or ability with anything at all.
11. Alcohol makes hashers less boring.
12. Beer. Helping ugly hashers get lucky since 1938.
13. We want a GM who can be manipulated………I mean professionally guided.
14. Hashing is like being stupid; it’s only painful for others.
15. Inebriation and the off-chance of a sexual encounter are the main things that bring life to the hash.
16. A hashman is made up of 100 parts. 1 part decent guy; 99 parts major arsehole.
17. Hashers are very intelligent, but we disguise that fact by being drunk most of the time.
18. More stupid things are said in the BJ hash circle than an entire year elsewhere in the world.
19. Advice for hashers when near non-hashers:It’s better to keep your mouth shut and let them think that you’re a fool rather than opening your mouth and having it confirmed.
20. Hashers are remembered with some affection, not a lot of affection, but some affection.
21. Hash clubs should be run smoothly. Having hashers around would be no help at all.
22. Hash News Alert:An Arizona harriette gave birth to a 14 kilogram baby boy. So Arizona now has two grand canyons.
23. Sex with a fellow hasher can lead to some pretty horrible things, like herpes,crotch-rot or even a relationship.
24. Expecting hashers not to think about beer and fornication is like expecting a compass not to point north.
25. Hashing is regarded as weak-minded escapism, almost as bad as religion and necrophilia.
26. A hasher who thought he was a pigeon was found in a park throwing bread crumbs at himself.
27. Hash News Flash:An unnamed Beijing hasher has written the longest love letter to his girl friend. It took up a whole roll of toilet paper.
28. People with a limited intellectual ability make up for it by joining the hash.
29. When it comes to a choice between common sense and outright stupidity, hashers will always choose the latter option.
30. The only time other hashers listen to me is when I fart.
31. As we hashers get older we become more philosophical, which is usually a sign that we are completely out of touch with reality.
32. The hash is the closest that I have attained to a truly Zen experience of absurdity and perversion.
33. Hash News Flash:Beijing hasher marries duck. Court cries foul.
34. Virgin Hasher: Where’s the beer stop at?
Old Hasher: Sir, in this hash group we don’t finish a sentence with a preposition.
Virgin Hasher: Alright then, where’s the beer stop at ARSEHOLE?
Acknowledgements-
‘Yes Minister’ TV series. BBC TV
Christopher Hitchens
Dennis Thatcher
Dame Edna Everidge
Ricky Gervais
Stephen Hawking
Tom Hanks
Julian Barnes
Colin Jost
Michael Che
Benny Hill
John Cleese
The Marketing Department of Boddington’s Ale, UK.
And Gispertet al, who started all this.
Walking Hare: John The Baptist
Running Hare: Pickle Boy
Walking Trail: 1.5-ish km each leg
Running Trail: 3-ish km each leg
Trail: A to A. Bag drop at resto. Dog friendly and human friendly.
When: Saturday, May 18, 2024
Time: Meet at 2:30pm, Run Starts: 3:00pm
Hash Cash: 30 RMB (Run, beer, circle). 105RMB (Run, beer,circle,dinner).
(PLEASE NOTE: after the last beer stop, there will be no refunds and no new bookings for dinner).
Meet-up: Impression Northeast (West Tie Ying Wanda Store) 印象东北(西铁营万达店)
D’erections: : 6012B-6013, 6th Floor, Wanda Plaza, Xitieying, Fengtai District (next to Exit C of Xitieying Subway Station, Line14) 丰台区西铁营万达广场6层6012B-6013(14号线西铁营地铁站C口旁)
