The Beijing Great Wall at Badaling descends from the hills ending in a little known Jiayuguan-like fortress in Provincial Hebei. From whence, it is said, that long ago an evil band of roving Mongol thieves led by the dread boss Blister Foot the Elder robbed a Federal stage coach full of greenbacks otherwise destined to the coffers of warlords in the wintery north. The local wind project is amplifying wind patterns, causing the barkans to shift and revealing the ancient loot preserved in the sand. The hash has been called-in to help retrieve and redeem numbered bills before they fall into the greasy palms of the tower-wrecking Waba Waba Clan.
Over a year in the making, this will be one legendary Boxer Hash. Tone your thighs and get rich quickly! Run along the great wall as it melts into the sands of time and desert sunset. Experience drinking archeology of long forgotten fortresses and ghost villages of both the Ptomkin and real Trogledyte varieties. We promise something for everyone! – even the cosplay enthusiasts among us will revel in their Jedi cloaks and scenery spanning Tang Dynasty martial arts epics to the Mars camp of future generations now tweaking your mealworm salad.
When:
Saturday, May 18
5月18日星期六
Time:
Meet at 10 a.m.
Departure at 10:30 a.m. sharp-ish
Hares:
007, Molotov Cock, Finger My Dough
Trail:
A-B
Registration:
We need to have numbers! So go ahead and register today!
Hash Cash:
200 RMB will get you a boxer trail, snacks, circle, bottomless drinks and dinner bash!
Scan with WeChat to RSVP and Pay
What to Bring:
Bring your own water bottle because the boxer doesn’t supply plastic water bottles! We will bring a big water for you to refill. ♻️❤️🌏
Your cell phone. Running shoes. A sense of adventure. A sense of direction. A sense of humor.
Ice – chuck a block in your freezer tonight and bring it with you. Bring costumes & cameras. Camping is possible if anyone wants to stay; you can tent or rent clean rooms with shower for as little as RMB 120 at the local actors’ YMCA.
Meet Up:
XL Bar 1-022 Shoukai Bojun Nanqu, Xindong Lu (新东路首开铂郡南区1-022).
D’erections:
It’s on Xindong Lu in the complex just north of Heaven and south of Lily’s American Diner. To find it, try to go to Heaven and then go the other way.
*** IMPORTANT NOTE: The Beijing boxer hash is an off-road running hash going out to the hills around Beijing once a month. We usually aim for the second Saturday of each month, but may vary depending on the hares’ availability and other variable factors we have zero control over. We do not adjust for weather conditions (bring a towel, you won’t drown) nor pollution levels (they’re lower out in the mountains anyway). It’s ok to walk but not to lallygag. Keep moving … We’re a running hash. Heart attacks are not permitted. As we are out on mountain trails, it’s easy to get lost. If you’re too stupid to bring a phone with you and you get lost, We won’t ph*cking care, nor will we ph*cing pin you either. We may or may not send a search party looking for you. If we do, chances are it will consist primarily of rabid dogs and hungry wolves. That being said, we are glad to have you join us and hope you enjoy a great day! (by the way, no you won’t be back for your important dinner date bring them along instead) ***