Beijing HHH Run #1761: Baywatch Splash Hash

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Don’t you worry, it’s going to be alright. Coz I’m always ready. I won’t let hares outa my sight! (Thank you Jimi Jamison, we’re always hashing too.)

Sadly the Hoff and Pammy have left Baywatch, so it’s now up to us hashers to save lives and wrestle with sharks whilst pouting our thirsty lips in Yuyuantan Park. Put simply, Hashers, the people of Beijing need you in your latest ‘lifeguard’ swim wear, swimming ‘cozzy’, swim shorts, bikini, mankinis, facekinis and hashkinis to venture onto the tarmacked shores of west Beijing, shouting ‘On On!’ and diving into the “crystal blue” waters of Beijing’s cleanest urban lake to save the latest innocent child who decided to take a dinghy out on an ocean in the middle of Beijing – blame the parents, they’re obviously not Hashers (well….)!

Bring beach balls, lifeguard floats, dinghies, sharks, whales, penguins, sand (there is none at our chosen “beach”), anything you recall from your Baywatch memories. Shave your legs, shave your chest, do whatever makes your inner Pamela Anderson or David Hasselhoff shine.

For anyone born after 1999, please refer to this great buzzfeed article.

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Beer sponsored by:

Logo_Extra_White

  • Hares:
    Agent Orgy, Sweet & Furry and Just Ollie
  • Type:
    A to A
  • When:
    Sunday, 24 July 2016
  • Time:
    Meet at 14:30, run and walk start at 15:00
  • What to bring:
    Swimsuits, floaties and water guns encouraged! Sunblock, hats and sunnies also probably not a bad idea. Come beat the summer heat with some moist momma fun 😉
  • Hash Cash:
    30 RMB run/walk and circle
    80 RMB run/walk, circle and dinner
  • Meet up:
    柳林餐馆(茂林居店),木樨地茂林居17号
    Liulin Restaurant No.17 Maolinju W Rd, Muxidi Haidian District
    Ph. 010-68524950
  • D’erections:
    Military Museum stop, Subway Line 1 and Subway Line 9, cum through Exit A, walk straight, past the Military Museum on your left hand side for approximately 500 meters. Turn LEFT at the first road and keep going 300 meters where on the right hand side of the road is the restaurant. EASY! If you get lost there will be penalities.
    地铁一号线或九号线,军事博物馆站B口出,向东500米到茂林居西路左转,向北直行300米,右手边既是。

 

 

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Full Moon HHH Run #100: Bright and Shiny! & Pedalphile’s FOYW

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The Full Moon Hash likes to revel in the dark side of Beijing. But to celebrate our 100th run we have decided to go bright! So, get your neon out of the closet, strap on your reflector vest and put new batteries in your flashlight. It is time to get lit. If it blinks, shines or glows, bring it!

To celebrate our 100th run we’ve got all new FMH Haberdashery (and patch), prizes, and maybe a few other surprises up our sleeves as well as being Pedalphile’s FOYW!!!

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  • Hares:
    Old school rules, hares raised on the spot
  • Type:
    Live trail, old school catch-the-hare rules
  • When:
    Friday, 29 July 2016
  • Time:
    Meeting 7:30, run 8:00 SHARP
  • Hash Cash:
    Run & circle 20 kuai, dinner A-A-zhi (bill shared between diners)
  • Meet up:
    Long Ji Xiao Guan (龙记小官)
    8 Xindong Road (新东路8号)
  • D’erections:
    Close to Paddy’s… 656 m away to be precise. Just next to Lily’s. Familiar places. If you’ve tried and got to Heaven, then go the other way.

 

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The Beijing-Tianjin Wildlife Summer Away Hash!

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Can’t stand the heat of the city? Need some fresh air in the wild nature? Can’t get enough of Hashing? Join the Jin-Jing duo in the wild county of Miyun. Only over one hour drive from the Capital, this little green gem in Jiankou near the Great Wall will heal your lungs, fulfil your thirst with ice cold beer and offer amazing views for those who strive for some boxing adventure. Alternatively, you can spend the day swinging on a hammock and play with cute as puppies at the guesthouse! Click register for more info.

When registering please use English Name or Pinyin so we know who you are. If you don’t have a Hash Name please input “just your-name”.

Register NOW!

Register


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Boxer Hash #150!!! The Empress Dowager’s Hash

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Wind your clocks back to December, 2003. The Beijing Boxer Hash co-founders, Pays for Sex and Cunt Runner doubled as virgin hares taking a motley looking crew of dastardly hashers around a location appropriately named The Secret Valley. Of course it snowed, the local authorities wouldn’t let people through a gate that was open during the recee, marking was poor, hashers got lost and a Beijing institution was born. Fast forward 13+ years, through kidnapped buses, hornet nest attacks, one never found lost hasher, farmers blocking trails, berserk guard dogs, umpteen treks along the Wall, yadda yadda yadda, the tails are seemingly endless … we have arrived at Beijing Boxer Hash run number 150 & it’s time for a big celebration!

When the hares went out looking for an inspired run site for the 150th running of the Boxer Hash they came upon a beautiful, formerly remote village in the hills surrounding the North Capital. Upon discovering the Empress Dowager from the Liao dynasty was born in this very village in … get this … 1150 AD! Destiny! The fates declared loud and clear, this has to be the site for the Boxer Hash 150th run.

This truly is the perfect location befitting such a momentous occasion. It is the site where the famous XingLong Buddhist temple was situated. It has stunning views of the surrounding mountains. It overlooks the plains of Beijing. The locals are the nicest people you will ever encounter on a hash trail. No angry famers threatening runners, nor local thugs highjacking buses here. Bring extra money, you can buy organic apples & peaches, mountain chicken eggs, locally grown walnuts and some of the best honey anywhere. Yes Virginia, we will be passing by the bee hives. You say you like horses? The hares have even incorporated a riding stable into the run. You like to swim in the middle of July? Bring your swim trunks. They’ve promised to refill the swimming hole by then. (OK, so you might have to return to Beijing and buy a pass to a local pool … but we tried). They even have (mostly) friendly dogs in the area!

Even the bash is at a special location. The hares have chosen an award winning restaurant. OK, we admit when we pressed them on what exactly the award was, they said they won for being the place most likely to host a bunch of ne’er do well hashers on a special anniversary run. But hey, an award is an award!

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  • Hares:
    Beer Required, Kiss My Maple Leaf & Creamy Lips
  • Trail:
    The best ever. Walkers’ option will be available.
  • When:
    Saturday, July 23, 2016
  • Time:
    Meet at 10:00 a.m. Departure at 10:30 a.m. sharp!
  • Hash Cash:
    150 RMB, plus an optional tip for the hares to ensure outstanding trail markings (pre-sign up required as this will be a very, very full & popular hash).
    For only 50 RMB more, you can add a breakfast buffet of eggs, sausage, potatoes, bread and tomatoes plus a drink of your choice (coffee, bloody mary, etc.) at XL bar pre-departure!
    (**Please make sure to note which option you choose when signing up below! Breakfast will only be guaranteed for those who indicate that option on the form.**).
  • You get:
    The bus ride to and from the far off distant run site, a fabulous run, great company, phucloads of laughs, wonderful views, confusing marks, water for the run, lots of laughs, post-run snacks, a safe place to keep your bags while you are out on trail with your mobile, a bash at an award winning restaurant, more fund than you can imagine and finally, of course … all the beer & soft drinks you can handle.
  • Haberdashery:
    Boxer 150 tanks designed specially by Dazed & Confused will be sold for 75 RMB each!! (see below)
  • Meet up:
    XL Bar
    1-022 Shoukai Bojun Nanqu, Xindong Lu (新东路首开铂郡南区1-022).
    *Click here for Baidu map*
  • D’erections:
    It’s on Xindong Lu in the complex just north of Heaven and south of Lily’s American Diner. To find it, try to go to Heaven and then go the other way.
  • Runsite:
    “The hills around Beijing”
  • What to bring:
    Proper protection — a hat, sunscreen, sun glasses, etc. Sustenance — a vessel to carry water and an energy bar on trail. Your cell phone. Running shoes. A sense of adventure. A sense of direction.

 

NOTE: Due to demand, only the first 50 sign-ups will be guaranteed a spot on the bus. If there’s enough demand, we may consider getting a second bus, but we need y’all wankers to sign up!! On on!!

And because we know hashers love discounts, we’ll throw in a deal on haberdashery! Any hasher who signs up AND pays (either We Chat or in person) before the hash on Sun 7/17 can buy a limited edition Boxer 150 patch + dryfit Boxer 150 tank for only 80 RMB! Bargain!! All haberdashery designed specially by Dazed & Confused. Otherwise, patches will go for 20 RMB and tanks for 75 RMB.

Register NOW!**

Register

** IMPORTANT NOTE:  THE BEIJING BOXER HASH IS AN OFF-ROAD RUNNING HASH GOING OUT TO THE HILLS AROUND BEIJING ONCE A MONTH. WE USUALLY AIM FOR THE SECOND SATURDAY OF EACH MONTH, BUT MAY VARY DEPENDING ON THE HARES’ AVAILABILITY, CURRENCY EXCHANGE FLUCTUATIONS, THE SCORE OF THE MOST RECENT BEIJING GUO’AN GAME, THE BUS DRIVER’S MOOD AND OTHER VARIABLE FACTORS WE HAVE ZERO CONTROL OVER. WE DO NOT ADJUST FOR WEATHER CONDITIONS (BRING A TOWEL, YOU WON’T DROWN) NOR POLLUTION LEVELS (THEY’RE LOWER OUT IN THE MOUNTAINS ANYWAY). IT’S OK TO WALK BUT NOT TO LALLYGAG. KEEP MOVING … WE’RE A RUNNING HASH. HEART ATTACKS ARE NOT PERMITTED. AS WE ARE OUT ON MOUNTAIN TRAILS, IT’S EASY TO GET LOST. IF YOU’RE TOO STUPID TO BRING A PHONE WITH YOU (LIM&S, LOOKING AT YOU!) AND YOU GET LOST. WE WON’T PH*CKING CARE, NOR WILL WE PH*CING PIN YOU EITHER. WE MAY OR MAY NOT SEND A SEARCH PARTY LOOKING FOR YOU. IF WE DO, CHANCES ARE IT WILL CONSIST PRIMARILY OF RABID DOGS AND HUNGRY WOLVES. THAT BEING SAID, WE ARE GLAD TO HAVE YOU JOIN US AND HOPE YOU ENJOY A GREAT DAY!  (BY THE WAY, NO YOU WON’T BE BACK FOR YOUR IMPORTANT DINNER DATE BRING THEM ALONG INSTEAD)

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Beijing HHH Run #1760: Muschi’s Last Tour

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Summer is upon us and Beijing is once again clogged with the only type of crowd more unruly than hashers: tour groups. As Muschi Riot prepares to fuck off, it has just dawned on her that she’s missed a few of the historic landmarks in Beijing that aren’t located directly between her apartment and Paddy’s. So let’s give her one last tour of Beijing to remember. Expect a lot of beer, a little history and a couple of hash holds.

Beer sponsored by:

Logo_Extra_White

  • Hares:
    Muschi Riot, Pedalphile, Bearded Clam
  • Type:
    A to A
  • When:
    Sunday, 17 July 2016
  • Time:
    Meet at 14:30, run and walk start at 15:00
  • Hash Cash:
    30 RMB run/walk and circle
    80 RMB run/walk, circle and dinner
  • Meet up:
    Xi yu ba da mu Xinjiang restaurant(西域巴达木)
    Xi jie kou North Street Ban Qiao Alley No. 7 (西街口北大街板桥三条七号)
  • D’erections:
    Subway Line 2 Ji Shui Tan Station Exit D. Turn left out of the station and walk South about 100 meters. Turn left at on the little alley just before the sign reading “Ban Qiao 3 Tiao”. The restaurant is 50 meters in on the left.
    地铁2号线积水潭D口,向南100米. 在板桥三条往左转,再走50米左侧.

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