Beijing HHH Run #1767: The Crocodile Hunter Memorial Run

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As the hunting season for crocodiles begins, the crocs are preparing as well as the hunters. As such, they have prepared all kinds of traps in largely unknown West Beijing. They have inadvertently left footprints as well, giving you the opportunity to try your luck and track them down. So put on your best Crocodile Hunter outfit, Australian Aborigine warrior dress, or bush camouflage… which bush I mean by that I leave for you to interpret!

Beware, however: From what I’ve heard, these wandering crocs splashing thru West Beijing know Karate…

Beer sponsored by:

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  • Hares:
    Wandering Tongue, Karate & Herr Splashy Pants
  • Type:
    A to A
  • When:
    Sunday, 4 September 2016
  • Time:
    Meet at 14:30, run and walk start at 15:00
  • Hash Cash:
    30 RMB run/walk and circle
    80 RMB run/walk, circle and dinner
  • Meet up:
    聚香园餐馆 JuXiangYuan CanGuan, 西四北大街217号 North XiSi Avenue No. 217, close to East Xisi Avenue 西四东大街(烤鱼/家常菜)
  • D’erections:
    Line 4 西四 XiSi metro station Exit A, and go north 10m. It will be on the left side.

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Beijing HHH Run #1766: The “in dependence of the Malaysia independence” run

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The fact that two of this week’s hares may no longer hash with us next year to celebrate this traditional run is precipitating the Beijing HHH into a deep malayse. While Malaysia may be independent, the Beijing Hash, and its annual Malaysia independence run in particular, has become dependent of (if not addicted to) creamy lips – mmm… tasty and delicious, bite-size and ready to eat…

Meanwhile, Tight Quim just realised that both the Federation of Malaya and Peking are no longer part of the UK, and that applying for a Chinese visa would be too mafan – which is why he decided to fuck off and go back home to good old Europe, where countries don’t just hastily declare independence…

Let us hash like there’s no yesterday, eat at Beijing’s Malaysian mother Hash canteen til we choke one out, and guzzle until we’re all indie… in the… damn it: free of colonial powers, clear thinking and sobriety.

Wear your finest traditional Malaysian costume, Malaysian-colored clothes (Red, White, Blue, Yellow), sarongs, your most independent Haberdashery – or whatever the hash you want, and join us in Liangmaqiao.

Sorakan, on on!

Beer sponsored by:

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  • Hares:
    Creamy Lips, Finger My Dough, Tight Quim & Blister Fister
  • Type:
    A to niu B!
  • When:
    Sunday, 28 August 2016
  • Time:
    Meet at 14:30, run and walk start at 15:00
  • Hash Cash:
    30 RMB run/walk and circle
    80 RMB run/walk, circle and dinner
  • Meet up:
    Liangmaqiao. The restaurant is at B. Most of your stuff will supposedly be brought there (not by a Hasher, we promise!)
  • D’erections:
    Right outside Liangmaqiao station, line 10, exit B (short d’erection, always soft from alcohol…)
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Beijing HHH Run #1765: Hungry Haunted Ghost Hash

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Unbeknownst to many Laowai here, August is the hungry ghost month, a time to fear. A visit to Beijing’s spookiest church, and don’t forget the house where a bunch of ppl got murdered. Forbidden are singing, talking to oneself and selfies. The ghost will also haunt those who turn around when it taps u on the shoulder.

Anyone who disobeys the rules will be hit with ectoplasm, or my watergun.

Beer sponsored by:

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  • Hares:
    Piss & Bitch, Red Snatcher, Just Carol
  • Type:
    A to A
  • When:
    Sunday, 21 August 2016
  • Time:
    Meet at 14:30, run and walk start at 15:00
  • Hash Cash:
    30 RMB run/walk and circle
    80 RMB run/walk, circle and dinner
  • Meet up:
    The restaraunt is 金手勺东北菜馆 at 东四北大街247号 (247 DongSi Bei DaJie).
  • D’erections:
    Exit from 地铁5号线张自忠路C口 (Metro Line 5 ZhangZiZhongLu Exit C). Head south for about 5 minutes.

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Full Moon HHH Run #101: The Hell’s Gate Hash

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On the fifteenth day of the seventh month in the Chinese lunar calendar, it’s held that the realms of heaven and hell are opened to the world of the living.

For one night only, hungry ghosts can walk the Earth, eat everyone’s food and drink all the Yangjing.

So join us, as we celebrate what is essentially Chinese Hallowe’en with an extra spooky Full Moon Hash! (So spooky, in fact, that the RA won’t be able to make it because he’s a big scaredy cat)

Come ghouls and ghosts, come wear something scary – or if you really want to freak everyone out, come wearing nothing at all!

Beer sponsored by:

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  • Hares:
    Old school rules, hares raised on the spot
  • Type:
    Live trail, old school catch-the-hare rules
  • When:
    Wednesday, 17 August 2016
  • Time:
    Meeting 7:30, run 8:00 SHARP
  • Hash Cash:
    Run & circle 20 kuai, dinner A-A-zhi (bill shared between diners)
  • Meet up:
    Xiao Yu Shan 小渔山 195 Dongzhimennei Dajie
    东直门内大街195号
  • D’erections:
    For the Beixingqiao Subway Station (Line 5), take exit B. Walk East down Ghost Street (turn right out of exit then left along the street) for about 400m. The restaurant is Xiao Yu Shan at 195 Dongzhimen Nei Street on the left side.

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Beijing HHH Run #1764: “Magic Johnsons Running Wild” Run

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Prepare to whip those johnsons out, its show (hash) time!

Some might say that johnsons should be celebrated every day – but Magic Johnson’s birthday is certainly a good occasion! Swing it low, wrap it around the bedpost or let Mrs. Murphy hold it in her hand, however you like it. While the NBA season won’t start until October, your jordan* hares believe it is about time to warm up your basketballs. And even if you simply can’t score as much and run into as many larry** birds as Magic did in his day, you can still play with your johnson – or simply wear a basketball outfit.

Join us on August 14 in your finest NBA (do they actually play basketball anywhere else?) apparel – make your hares and Denis Rodman proud!

* jordan: the hottest guy you can ever meet, hes hot, fine, and everything a girl can ask for (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Jordan)

** larry: very sexy and wild in bed http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=larry

Beer sponsored by:

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  • Hares:
    Just Trenten, Dickmocracy and Bearded Clam
  • Type:
    A to A
  • When:
    Sunday, 14 August 2016
  • Time:
    Meet at 14:30, run and walk start at 15:00
  • Hash Cash:
    30 RMB run/walk and circle
    80 RMB run/walk, circle and dinner
  • Meet up:
    The restaraunt is yu zhou xiao chu (渝洲小厨)at shui jing hutong 5 dongcheng (北京市东城区东水井胡同5).
  • D’erections:
    From chaoyangmen station exit G (朝阳门地铁站 G口)head west on chaoyangmen st. (朝阳门大街) toward south shuiguan hutong st. (南水关胡同). Turn left onto south shuiguan hutong st. and walk 200 meters. Destination will be on the right.

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