ham

For millennia, great apes have ventured into unchartered, remote places. Places where they often had no right to be. Probability of survival next to zero.  And yet, millennia after millennia, the Hominidae have continued to flourish on this planet and beyond. The limits of exploration have been pushed repeatedly.

This boxer hash, we pay tribute to one especially great ape: Ham the Astrochimp, the first Hominidae to venture into the final frontier, that vast unknown: Space. Ham the Astrochimp proved that basic human-like tasks could be completed in zero gravity. Fifty-four years on from this pioneering achievement, astronauts, cosmonauts, takinauts and Matthew McConnaughey alike all have Ham to thank for their successful careers.

This boxer, we will retrace Ham’s flight path two-dimensionally over the treacherous void-like hills of HuangHuaCheng, scaling the greatest wall of them all to mimic the turbulence Ham must have felt re-entering the hemisphere, and attempt to  mimic basic human tasks, such as imbibing copious amounts of cheap Chinese beer. Fail to drink and risk electrocution of your souls!

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  • Runsite: HuangHuaCheng Great Wall and surrounds
  • Trail: Medium level. Be prepared for some hills. Please don’t bring your underage children (they are too young for space adventures)
  • Hares: Dry Hole, West Side Farter
  • Date: Saturday January 31, 2015
  • Meet: Tim’s Texas BBQ @ 10:00, 14 Dongdaqiao Rd / 朝阳区东大桥路14号
  • Departure: 10:30 sharp
  • Cost: 150 RMB; includes hash, coach, bottomless drinks, snacks and an awesome bash with grilled fish, fried shrooms and copious amounts of bananas.
  • Signup: Right here!
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