Following a tumultuous year of the horse, the boxer will attempt to follow the 2015 horoscope for goats by kicking off with a calmer, peaceful and steady boxer hash trail in March. Legendary hare KMML and virgin hare Sink and Destroy, both eager to (re)write their reputation as boxer hares, will be hurrying up the hills of Huairou to lead us through a magical trail filled with bliss and serenity.

To arouse your excitement, we forecast the totally probable wildlife highlights of wholly mammoths (tracks sighted during scout!), Amazonian pythons (eager to snatch up the languishing wankers), unicorn farms and donkeys (who have been pre-warned about impending ColUmbians). There is also speak of a mysterious mine tunnel, the depths of which may or may not as yet have been probed by the curious hasher.

In keeping with the harmony, nurturing and healing nature of the year, we will dine in orgasmic rapture in the finest organic restaurant in the area: suitable for vegans, vegetarians and the more carnivorous alike.

Hares NB (if you want to keep your pants/dignity): it is unlucky to run west during the year of the goat.

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  • Runsite: Siduhe, Huairou area
  • Trail: “Hilly but doable”, “virtually no shiggy”, “no vicious farmers”, “no killer dogs”. Read: medium level, shortcuts will be available to those who choose a slower pace than front-running-bastard-level
  • Hares: KMML, Sink and Destroy
  • Date: Saturday March 21, 2015
  • Meet: Tim’s Texas BBQ @ 10:00 for pre-boxer brunch, 14 Dongdaqiao Rd / 朝阳区东大桥路14号
  • Departure: 10:30 sharp
  • Cost: 150 RMB includes the trail, transport to and from, bottomless drinks, snacks and a very delicious, organic, vegan-vegetarian-friendly bash
  • Signup: Right here!