Following a tumultuous year of the horse, the boxer will attempt to follow the 2015 horoscope for goats by kicking off with a calmer, peaceful and steady boxer hash trail in March. Legendary hare KMML and virgin hare Sink and Destroy, both eager to (re)write their reputation as boxer hares, will be hurrying up the hills of Huairou to lead us through a magical trail filled with bliss and serenity.
To arouse your excitement, we forecast the totally probable wildlife highlights of wholly mammoths (tracks sighted during scout!), Amazonian pythons (eager to snatch up the languishing wankers), unicorn farms and donkeys (who have been pre-warned about impending ColUmbians). There is also speak of a mysterious mine tunnel, the depths of which may or may not as yet have been probed by the curious hasher.
In keeping with the harmony, nurturing and healing nature of the year, we will dine in orgasmic rapture in the finest organic restaurant in the area: suitable for vegans, vegetarians and the more carnivorous alike.
Hares NB (if you want to keep your pants/dignity): it is unlucky to run west during the year of the goat.