With our hare raiser out of town and avoiding Chinese taxation, Lucky Boy stepped up to hare on short notice with his friend, Doug (the newbie) at Sihuidong ditie station.  While they said north entrance a number of us searched NW and then finally found them in NE exit.  Snot and D&C were running late and asked us to wait while the hares gathered the rest of the group.  Dry Hole the prior week sent a long, multi-page dissertation on the how’s, why’s and what’s of haring.  Immediately we noticed there was no water and what was advertised as an A-A run was now A-B with no bag car and no way to get a taxi…thank goodness we had a large group of walkers willing to carry everyone’s bags to B.

Lucky Boy was introduced and began explaining the marks stating we have “On On”s, “Open Checks” and 1 or 2 “Hash Holds”.  We will have no beer stops today (let me repeat that NO BEER STOPS) so the hares decided they would give us an ice cream stop at the new Diary Queen in Joy City Mall.  As D&C disrupted in the background selling Full Moon Hash shirts we noticed that now Lucky Boy was trying to explain “2 Ways” and “3 Ways” to the newbies.  I thought oh no maybe this won’t be such an easy run.  Also today’s run will be short 4-5K.  The weather was cool and overcast so no sunburn today.  As we called “Open Check”, the loaded down walkers and the lightened runners headed out.

Through a dirty hutong alley and a tunnel we found our first and one of the few marks on this “well marked” trail and it was a “3 Way”????  Didn’t they say only open checks today?  Anyway our next mark was a “2 Way” followed by our third mark an “Open Check”…if this was live haring Lucky Boy would be a million miles away.  Snot kept calling to try and catch-up and get directions and after Undulator tried, Lucky Boy succeeded in giving directions that even Snot could follow.  Spiking Viking, our resident spandex pants wearer had a competitor today in “Tosser”, an old hare raiser from Beijing years back, sporting his own – why can’t we get more women in spandex???

We wandered the streets around Joy City Mall eventually meeting up with the walkers, including Skinhead sporting the 2012 Indonesia Interhash shorts and 2014 Hainan Interhash shirt…a walking billboard for all things hash.  What’s Up Cock, after running with a pack of 8-10 of us asked for my cell number because she was lost…only problem, she was running next to me and I wasn’t lost!!  Anyway she joined the walkers to finish the route.  Once we all met at Joy City we rode a 7-story escalator up to the Dairy Queen, where everyone had an ice cream cone, except Undulator how had two!

The restaurant was a short ten-minute walk and after that grueling 5K we all were feeling tired but to escape the Joy City Mall (not unlike a casino in Las Vegas) took an additional 20-25 minutes.  One escalator up but hidden single floor escalators spread around the mall to go back down.  We circled up at the Xinjiang restaurant on the patio and began welcoming virgins and LTNS and abusing them again and again for hats and bags in the circle.  We brought in the Germans to congratulate them on their third place World Cup finish and with no Dutch or Spanish we brought in “Spanish-speakers” and those wearing “orange” for a celebration of the long awaited final.  Also Undulator was punished for selling an incomplete (non-Red Dress included) registration to Interhash to SV.  LB called in his co-Hare for non-stop complaining the day before as they set the trail only to meet a lovely woman Saturday night (whom he brought to the hash) and miracle no more complaints all day Sunday.

Late cumers Snot and Rumpy Pumpy were brought in followed by MB handing out some sausages to the hashers.  Snot brought in Petting Zoo to play the fluffer, while Undulator and RP decided which Taiwanese sausage they preferred…Spermaid, Pony or D&C.  Spermaid received 1 vote and Pony the other…while a disappointed D&C went back to his beer.  With the Reverend absent this week, D&C and I chipped in, as best we could.  As the circle drew to a close we announced next week’s run with the return of Phantom and Taxi Ride Her from Darwin and the FOYW for the Reverend.  With that we were “On Food” and an excellent outdoor Xinjiang meal…

On On

Moore Head