Over a quarter of 18-34 year-olds will feel it’s normal to form friendships and even romantic relationships with robots in the future.

Ooh and aah over the passage of time, Beijing Hash House Harriers for 2017 puts a period to Hashmas Gala Party at Friday night at Blue Marlin organized by Party Committee members such as Sausage Party, Heart On, Red Snatcher and Ass Tonguer. About 70 hashers dress up Sunday best to attend this great moment. First off, the sumptuous dinner entertains the hashers. And then GM Blister Fister and Super Squirter co-host the outgoing ceremony as well as all mismanagers on stage to bring to a successful close for 2017 service with a present Hash hat respectively. Dazed & Confused projects a PPT on a big screen to announce 2018 mismanagement. MargariCunt gets up him as Santa Claus to perform the hashers’ gifts swap and also represents Hash bar Paddy’s to distribute a huge bag of gifts to the hashers. Then a professional Philippine band makes a show and the hashers swim in flow beer and boozes to dance till early hours 2:30 am or so. Merry Christmas! Heartfelt thanks all mismanagers and the hashers’ dedication to WORLD SPIRIT, HUMANISTIC WAY AND VISIBLE JUSTICE.

Saturday mid-afternoon, the Hash Harrier House is sited at the Paddy’s hared by Slappy Seconds, Shit Head and Just Du for more than 30 hashers. It’s freaking cold and windy, no pollution, though. New GM Shanghai Man starts a circle and functions as RA’s blessing, too. There are 3 virgins. The trail turns into a breath of chatoyance to the hashers who still stand on the clouds from last night party. Along with streets and intersection, crossing the street athwart to a corner of hutong for the first beer stop where hashers drank there many times before. The shop owner privately raises beer price to 4.5 yuan per bottle Yanjing and lies, “all Beijing’s price has gone up…”, it’s not about the price, but her crummy personality. Sausage Party and Hot Cockolate choose ice-cream. The nipping wind blows the hashers to hide in a recession of the wall, like Cum In My Brum, Just Toni, Just Christie, Just Emily, Just Li and Just Elan, Bearded Clam’s purple bell-bottoms trousers strike the eye and Tit for Tap exposes herself the part of skin for a fashion and does not feel cold. Crash Test Dummy sneaks into the hashing as latecummer and Finger My Dough rides a bicycle to rush in the hashing as another latecummer. New Hash Flash Super Squirter shoots photos. GM gives an order to move forward.

Cutting through the crowd of Sanlitun bar street. Limp Fish Dick, ChickenShit, Pickle Boy and Mussels from Brussels take the lead. As confusing the trail, Danger Zone shouts a way out in such the congestion, into the bizarre high-rise; as missing out on a mark, again, DZ yells out the mark to turn down an underground plaza until running into the 2nd BS at a mini-supermarket. Red Snatcher and Breakfast Included bump them against a signboard of a shop that a bang attracts the hashers screaming. The wind is piercingly cold. The hashers have to hide indoor. Triple X-Ray speaks his mind, “I don’t wanna eat food. I wanna a woman. I’m 28 already.” Blow Harder buys a bag of jelly drops to treat the hashers. Just Jasmine is curious of joining the talks with the hashers. Halting for a bit longer, after changing into florid faces, the hashers head for the next. Suddenly Six Kuai Short and Charlie catch up as latecummers. Climbing upon a spiral stairs to a block of hutongs. Out of nowhere, Heart On squeezes in the line-up and dashing into the Workers’s Stadium and there’s a high statue at the northern gate being set for Hash Hold. All runners click group picture. On left to run for a while and crossing the street to north until meeting the 3rd BS next to the street. No blackmail for beer and yummy baozi for the hashers. SS and Little Red Shit Hood all the time wear short pants in the chilling trail. Soon looping back to Paddy’s along the street. Cockarazzi shares out Candy Canes to every hasher for yule. Rambo No.5 rattles to join the circle as latecummer. Agent Orgy has a drowsy look with last night hangover to appear late for the circle.

GM SH prologues and RA SKS garbing pajamas from last night slumber co-anchor the circle with another RA HO. The 3 hares are hailed out constantly to drink together. A bunch of long-time-no-see come out to swig. Especially Black Turd who has abandoned the hashing for years and this time shows up for a drink. Oracle Boner and SH each wins a see-through mug for 50 runs and many with 50 runs and up stand out to congratulate them. Out of blue, another new GM Algae Bra bursts forth as latest cummer. SP brings in a couple of bags for the missing things from last night party. Many hashers as every Hashmas party lost things after hangover and pick back from the hashing on the second day. Although AO’s quitted Mismanagement, she belts out the situational Hash songs still is indispensable as Songstress. SKS arcanely calls out Just Toni for her naming. The avid and brave young lady throws off her layer by layer till last layer on her body to confront this sarsar and goes down on her knees in the circle. After several nominations from her private life, Bitch Bandit jogs her memory to not being up to her neck in salmon-colored glow. A group of hashers bless her with beer shower. The Hasher Song blares out to the skies. And lastly, the Swing Low’s chorus rises led by HO a version by a version with all hashers. Some go to dinner somewhere, some stay at Paddy’s for drink and social. This is the maiden hashing with 2018 new Mismanagement.

On On…

Pickle Boy
Beijing. Monday,
December 18, 2017