Santa Clause is losing his way in the vile smog.

December 2 to 4, 2016, it’s influenced by the unaired weather in China day in and day out. AQI index in the southeast Beijing burst the meter to reach up to 500. December 4, Sunday, it happens to be a hashing day. According to Hash rule, if above 269 PM, hashing would be auto-cancelled. Mismanagement has to decide to change the running location to Hash bar Paddy’s and the hares set a temporary short walk trail at 3:30 pm in lieu of hashing time 2 pm. Suddenly at 2:45pm, the wind blows AQI down to hit 179 PM. GMs Six Kuai Short and Agent Orgy soon manage to lay a short running trail surrounding Paddy’s. Dope! Hashing has ever been stopped once by the wicked weather since Hash event started in Beijing in 1979.

The hare Finger My Dough scats to mark a running trail like Full Moon Hash style. Only are there 7 runners as the first ever least runners on the trail throughout history of BJH3, such as Crash Test Dummy, Lost in Marks & Spencer, Pickle Boy, SKS, AO and 2 virgins, comparing to nearly 20 Hash walkers guided by the walking hare PreLubed. With Bohemian Rhapsody under the skin, wildly running about the embassy area and canal bank because it’s from the third mark, runners have got lost completely. Nobody can find any marks further. Thanks to the map app at the phone. Shortly a pin on Hash WeChat routes the first beer stop. The runners seem to ascertain Helen of Troy to draw up to the first beer stop through Sanlitun bar street and busy crossings and laneways from all directions, which takes about 3km to arrive there next to Jing A bar. The hare FMD early brooms to make the last part of trail. Talking and drinking with smack of deification for a while to untangle the climate factors. GM SKS shouts out to open check. Again, after the first mark, the hashers go astray for 10 minutes. GM SKS has to chalk out a new trail for hashers and shortly roll out the second beer stop in place. The hashers herd together in succession on the strength of oxytocin. AO works out some moves of Heyrobics to keep warm. The meter shows the air has been splitsvilling with the jumped-up haze thereabout 91 PM. GM SKS orders to go back to Paddy’s on one’s own. Coursing through a street and 2 blocks to return to the start point. The hare FMD has prepared 3 small cases of beer in front of Paddy’s. Ponyo cared by Lick It To Ride chases after the halting Charlie tended by Godzilla Butt to collapse in the corner.

Spirituelle hashers circle up under the command of GM SKS and yell out the 2 hares over and over to drink, welcome out 4 virgins with Hash song and little cock. Taxi Rider her holds a red slapper to keep the circle in order. CTD is hailed out for his #150 runs and GM SKS adorns him with a red Hash flash and other hashers with more than 150 runs stand out to congratulate him. CTD fetches out several bags of cookies that’s made by himself for hashers. Kosher! It’s yummy. Phantom exclaims out Karate to showcase a gentleman manner by shaking the hands, “Hey, fuck you, gentlemen!” “Hey, fuck you too, gentlemen!” Isn’t it a modern version of gentlemen to greet with each other?! RA Blister Fister calls out the 2 hares to make up for his blessing. Phantom, Appointed Hole and Just Justin jump out to sing a rock and roll in jest for BF. Evening twilight envelopes the winning streak of hashers with stiff gust. AO and BF come out to square off for a fight? Out of blue, AO poses the handstand and then BF hangs on to her legs, AO with handstand stance grips upon his legs. What a cracking show! Perhaps this is a legendary 69 extravaganza! At once, it gobsmacks the spot for 2 seconds and then screaming hysterically in an uproar. On the occasion, a car passes by to break up the biodegradable circle. The latecomer Sink & Destroy squeezes in. Another RA LiM&S steps in to name Just Justin, scrutinizing the beforehand and on-site nominations by the hashers, Killer Queef gets to the root of his hashing life. A chopping beer shower from the hashers plays the field through his topless on his knees in the circle. The resounding The Hasher Song, laughter and shrieks blend into a benediction for him. The other hashers yuk like Hard To Live With, RoadKill, Shanghai Man, Sausage Party, Just Desmond, Pekinsky Bikinsky, Just Mia, Just Anne and virgins. Heart On doesn’t join the circle. Eventually RA LiM&S leads an all-encompassing chorus for Swing Low with hashers without disenfranchisement. ChickenShit turns up as latecomer before some move in Paddy’s for dinner and extra drink.

P.S. the Mismanagement pays Hash cash for beer at the 2 beer stops and the circle celebration for the hashers. It appears to be for the first time ever. And yearly thrilling Christmas party at XL bar on December 10, 2016 is in the offing.

On On…

Pickle Boy
Beijing, Tuesday,
December 06, 2016