Crocodilian means hypocritical and fake.

The scanty sidewalk in front of the hashing restaurant on the hurstling Xisi commercial street swarm with about 50 hashers. A local teen boy walks out of the next shop, naturally facing the busy street t to pee to the makeshift dump heap under a big tree. Asking around a few locals watching the scene, they smile and answer, “I don’t know. This boy is not my child.”

Pickle Boy is the first to rake out the alpha mark and the other hashers cross the noisy intersection to whisk westward along the avenue. When seeking out a Two-Way mark, Road Kill opts for a hutong direction and rows of hutongs scrap with the old tory and old fogey to circumstantiate spear tackle with crocodilian value of life up the pole and stow with the copybook pocketbook donnybrook. This might be the first “crocodile” in the trail. On left to lope forward some winding alleyways to the main street and turning right to slant through an avenue and crossing to reach the first beer stop at the slop chest opposite the State Council on the other street. An array of hashers sit on the curb to sip and chat. Test Crash Dummy brings in a bag of snacks to treat the hashers. Ram Without Lube does not drink yet. The walking hare Karate pours the beer to the hashers. Runners and walkers throng to relax a good time for 10 minutes around. GM orders to open check.

On left to move eastward and passing by some places with the armed guards where it’s the back door of Zhongnanhai. Red Snatcher queries where this location is. Approx 40 runners cluster together before two giant blood-colored doors ranked with full of fist-sized golden doornails in order for big group photos. Because 1, 3, 5, 7, 9 these odd numbers stand for numbers of destiny in Chinese cognition and the 9 represents the superlative and must be used by imperial family only. So generally each imperial door decorated with the 9*9=81 doornails symbolizes the imperial highest power. This might be the second “crocodile” in the trail.

Hashers move easterly a little while to meet the entrance of the Beihai Park that’s one of the most intact imperial park for 866 years and most importantly, it proofs the recent nearly 900 years of Chinese history was trampled down by the barbaric and obscurant Tartar ruling, in particular ideologically. This might be the third “crocodile” in the trail. The entrance ticket charges 10 yuan each person. Beared Clam organizes an admission holding a wad of tickets. Once getting into it, with background of glistering water, all runners click another group picture as well. Some virgins rush over the archaic bridge through the crowded visitors to step up the snaky hill surrounded by luxuriant greenery. Reputedly hitherto here living two ancient cypress trees aged 800-plus years old. A Hash Hold was set at the gate of the Tibetan style white pagoda at hilltop because it needs to pay more. Creamy Lips and Shaven Not Stirred jump up for a flying posture. DickMocracy is curious as to what it’s up there. All runners with relish take another photo. Then descending this hill, Pussy Nibble first locates a mark to turn through an archway. Blister Fister dashes down and Creeper remains her average speed, the hare Herr Splashy Pants at times marks the trail for an easygoing march. Suddenly eyeing a robed ghost sitting in a sequestered pavilion, Sweet& Furry flings back her head and laughs. It turns out that a local beautiful girl dresses up an acient gown for a picture that shows a current phenomenon, some local “educators” organized thousands of students to learn the traditional Chinese classics, after 10 years of experiments, these poor young pupils lost the modern education and have been damagingly sick of learning. This might be the fourth “crocodile” in the trail. Along the visitors-serried slate trail, the hashers bir out of the historical park. Some locals also copycat to shout, “On On!”

A mark of Beer Near guides hashers to down a tunnel to the thriving street and at a corner, Just Cat keeps ahead all along and pauses for the second beer stop. Drinking and snacking and talking. Phantom Menace has a best time by being topless to enjoy a chocolate popsickle handpicked by Mom Taxi Ride Her. Undulator puts on a mask against the dust throwed up by the cars to and fro. Just Mira gets used to lip on a slender cigarette. The others ramble on about like Just Mike, All In, Finger My Dough, Hard To Live With, virgins and unbeknownsts. GM Six Kuai Short announces if some can move on, will continue to run to the third beer stop; if some not, can go back to restaurant with Karate. The most surely go on sinking into another pattern of hutongs.

What hashers yell out for marks might be frightening away some “crocodiles” alee and notice that “they” will come back pronto. Another GM Agent Orgy pulls out her finger to check the marks. Passing through somewhat zigzag hotungs and turning left at an end of a lane to hit the third beer stop. Each seems to peak the own terrene body with consubstantiality to fecundate a comfort for 10 minutes or so. GM SKS pulls out all the stops for shouting to open check. Mussels From Brussels and Just Yanick whirl around groping a way out. Finally the hare Wandering Tongue marks a direction at a broad four corners. And then swooshing into another ragged hutongs complex. Unwittingly rolling out of the hutongs to a strepitous main street, the sense of direction comes to mind about the home restaurant and catching sight of a middle-age local man walking ahead on the street littering a dollop of white thing that may be a napkin, which immeidiately links together with the first scene of a local teenager boy peeing in public randomly. This might be the fifth “crocodile” in the trail. The hashers return in succession and ready for circle celebration. When PB asks WT in English language subconsciously where to get the circle beer. PreLubed shows off her max patriotism or encounters obstacles of modern life, “she’s a Chinese person. Speaking in Chinese language”. This might be the sxith “crocodile” in the trail. No Shit Sherlock as latecomer appears and 2-3 local young men inquire how to join the Hash.

The circle ritual takes place at an open green belt where the populous locals embark on their leisure life. The hashing circle attracts legions of locals to watch like Aussie cockeyed bob. 6 cases of cold Yanjing beer and respective 2 cartons of Belgian Vedett and Liefmans as Hash Beer Sponsor supply hashers. GMs SKS and AO garlanding a string of beer caps co-host the performance in a high-decibel tone. The local old woman judge the hashers in Chinese language and out of blue a local middle-age lady with a mask delivers a Chinese pamphlet of Jesus’s doctrine. Another local old woman rolls her eyes to stare at her from hell to breakfast. This might be the sixth “crocodile” in the trail. PB explains, “thanks, don’t need. We might be different way to learn Jesus. I believe in Jesus.” 12 virgins are welcome with Hash song and floppy cock. Many win running patch. Such as Godzilla Butt and DM for #25; PN for #69; BF for #50 with an exquisite mug with inscribed his name; Phantom for #150 with a fancy mug with inscribed his name. Sink & Dstroy and Mammary Loss squeeze in as latest comers and juice up the spot by singing Hash songs loud. Just Eliza is praised by RK with a word of dapper. Super Squirter and Algae Bra sit against a statue to smoke and drink. 3 hares crowning a cute crocodile headwear are hailed out for a swill many times. Ass Tonguer zeros in on her high-resolution lens to shoot the pictures of hashers for splendid moment. RA Lost in Marks & Spencer hosts another part based on a note he’s still writing on and blessed the trail in the beginning. Until the night falls, the circle is moved to nearby and unfolds some “accusations” and LiMS finishes the circle with leading a chorus of Swing Low with all hashers. Over 20 hashers pitch into local meal in a private big room. The crocodile is cold-blooded animal to eat the people anytime brutally, but here the “crocodiles” of bad habits and fake tradition not only devour human bodies, but also blot out human soul. See! The crocodile engulfs a heavy stone for submerging to the deep body of water, to lie low to annihilate humankind.

On On…

Pickle Boy
Beijing. Tuesday,
September 06, 2016