Georges Perec warned, “We raise the dust first and then complain about what we cannot see.” Nevertheless a successive 3 Hash events like hat-trick feat steer clear of the disaster initiated by Lord Voldemort, such as Full Moon Hash #106 on Thursday night, Saturday Boxer Hash #156 and Sunday Hash #1786.

The Scene 1

17 hashers each write a note for a New Year resolution to put in FM GM’s helmet at the celebration circle. FM Co-GM Lick It To Ride guides the hashers to repeat his prayer aloud. New FM GM Agent Orgy draws out a few to read and the others guess who he or she wrote. It juices up the spot with screams and laughter. 6 virgins are welcomed ardently and gifting some with fine beer opener. An array of funny “accusations” warm up the hashers in a freezing night. Sweet & Furry and No Shit Sherlock handle the beer. At the high point, all hashers howl at a rare bright full moon twice. Algae Bra and Finger My Dough come late for the circle and dinner. About a half of hashers shift to another restaurant for a hotpot food.

Pickle Boy is pointed out by a spin of bottle for the first haring. Winding through rows of hutongs and hashing an arc of trail around Houhai bar street. But to find a reasonable general store is tough. Finally encountering an one but a bottle of Yanjing sells for 10 kuai higher triple than normal price. In a twinkle, Sink & Destroy has been around. PB pinpoints an eatery in a quiet alley to set the first beer stop with hashers’ consumption standard. The hashers in turns arrive and sit inside to drink for minutes. Just 3 walkers delay a bit more time like Rambo Number Five, All In and a virgin. Hairy Crack nips away to mark the second part of trail. Slappy Seconds, Herr Splashy Pants, Just Daniel and virgins as pacemakers push through the concourse, street, Drum Tower, avenue and cross the noisy avenue into a dim lane to reach the second beer stop. S&F murmurs it’s far from the restaurant. DickMocracy rides a scooter to pass by and states this beer stop’s shop is his former laundry. Principal Penetration breaks down Full Moon Hash to Long Legs. S&D disappears to work on the last part of haring. A US boy and a Chinese girl go by the hashers and with great interest to ask what’s going on and join hashing to return to restaurant. Six Kuai Short explains their question about the hashing. Under clean moonlight and along with the flour marks, looping back to restaurant through the sweep of alleys.

The Scene 2

15 hashers head to Huanghuacheng Great Wall Boxer Hash forenoon that conjures up the erstwhile Boxer. What The Fluff fetches 2 lunchboxes of home-made vegetable sushi to treat hashers. Rambo Number Five drives his jeep to tail after our bus because he would has to be back down town by 6 pm. In line with A to B. Herr Splashy Pants is the last time to perform his duty of Boxer GM before he leaves China, paraphrases the marks on the ground to a virgin called Just Corrine and a doggy called Emmy being fostered by Heart On. The hare Dry Hole first rabbits away.

Along with the road, marching into a lonesome hamlet being interspersed with a frozen brook. Scaling a hill to hit the Great Wall. Craggy high steps foil the drab moutain-scape. Bumping into sporadical local travellers. Jogging through seedy 3 beacon towers. Hairy Crack rushes ahead to split into the right trail down to withered wooded hill. Suddenly running into another hare Hot Cockolate moving back from a route and mumbles she got lost. Keeping a dirt path, minutes later, landing another dorp where 2 shepherdesses yell to the hashers in English, “here! here!…” Smoothing down to the cemented path and several Open Check marks have been cracked to arrow a way. After the stretch of road and bridge for minutes, climbing up the other timbered hill to stride over a meandering pathlet to descend to ther other road. Along the familiar roadside to move forward for minuters, seeing our bus parking next to the upland restaurant where the hashers previously ate many times. It’s about 3:20 pm. HSP, HC and PB run back to the Great Wall via a frozen reservoir and a torrential imposing dam. However the entry into Great Wall has been shut down. The hashers have to double back to restaurant for a rest by snacking and drinking. The empty restaurant just entertains the hashers. The walking hare Six Kuai Short holding Charlie and ushering a bunch of walkers catch up like Algae Bra, Pekinsky Bikinsky, Danger Zone, etc. Before them, a handful of joggers like Finger My Dough, No Shit Sherlock, Just Duart, etc. And the restaurant owner sends her car to bring RNF to take his car from the start point. 10 min later, RNF drives his car back to join the circle inside a dining room.

Red Snatcher dresses black skirt with white frill to become Beer Bitch. 3 hares are called in for a drink over and over. Rounds of “accusations” tickle the hashers’s fancy. Only DH and PB hashed this area in the old days, DH sighs he’s been here 10 times. It has nothing changed. After a while, the hashers engorge a square meal. About 7 pm, hopping in the bus to return to XL bar in Bejing with the chorus of Hash songs led by DH on the bus as well as the restorative snooze.

The Scene 3

Ezy Rider comes back to BJH3 as latecomer and brings in a king size fister cast with BJH3’s logo to present new GM Blister Fister in the glorified circle. Former GM Agent Orgy garlands 2 strings of beer bottle caps to 2 new GMs BF and Super Squirter. When AO is poised to host something (jazzing up the spot), BF awakens he should have taken his GM duty for granted and asks AO to back off (making the site laughing). New RA Heart On waves 2 half-jack of local medicinal liquor to toast to former and current Mismanagers. BF fishes out a tiny chicken plastic ware to produce chicken shot. Phantom still wears the shorts in a such cold day as the only one. Crash Test Dummy belts out Hash songs. Rambo Number Five stands out to hail out some who’ve partaken 3 Hash events in series, such as Herr Splashy Pants, Hairy Crack, Pickle Boy, Finger My Dough including himself. Lick It To Ride clicks photos for hashers. At dusk, RA HO moderates a naming for Just Cliff. A train of stories about him are disclosed by hashers with nominations. When RA HO seeks for advice around the circle. The most sonorous voice cries out for Stoned Age towards him. Ultimately Just Cliff enters into his freewheeling hashy life from then onwards. A spatter of beer douses his topless body on his kness in the circle. His hearty laughter mixes with The Hasher Song and merriments from the hashers to resound through the skies. The upshot is that RA HO showcases a carol known as Swing Low with the crew. Roughly 15 hashers tuck in a yummy local dinner in a private room. Receiving 3 virgins.

After RA HO blesses the trail and 3 hares HSP, SS and SA, Shanghai Man opts for a right direction to lead the way as crossing a stream of traffic of broad four-corners. Then crossing an avenue into a residential zone, passing through strange street and lane to reach the first beer stop next to an open area. Phantom Menace watched by his mom Taxi Ride Her plays a large screw with Lost in Marks & Spencer for a long while, looking like he would be an engineer in the future having rage for a screw. Breakfast Included buys a piece of tofu that she loves to eat tofu. Just Ann catches up the hashing lineup out of blue. Algae Bra smokes. Just Desmond listens out. HC beats it but seldom picks up a right direction from several checking points. Brushing past busy intersection and dashing into a community. Unknowingly meeting up the second beer stop. Hunting for Head turns up out of nowhere as latecomer. Ponyo vomits somehow. Bjorn Again sits a bench to keep warm by putting his hand into his coat. Long Legs sits on a bench to tighten up her head cap for a warmth. No Shit Sherlock snaps shots for her. Principal Penetration jogs forward on constant speed. Cutting through an obscure park with abundance of dormant plants and facilities. Sweet & Furry is excited to run afront and shouts out the marks she can see. Anything Goes chevies in company with Danger Zone. Unexpectedly getting at the third beer stop by the wayside. A short break of sipping and chatting catapults the hashers back to restaurant in a fan-shaped running. Nobody knows how big this cycle of between the desire and the desire to achieve could be next.

On On…

Pickle Boy
Beijing. Tuesday,
January 17, 2017