A woodcut from a 1499 pamphlet depicts Vlad III dining among the impaled corpses of his victims as real Dracula.

Unfurling age-old grimoire at All Hallows’ Mass eve on Oct 31st that shows the way back to Medieval Age, in spelaean scene under dim jack-o’-lanterns and the walls and corners are crawled with cobweb, more staringly, swarms of Hash photos on the walls, anywhere small and big head-ons displays are televising a variety of versions of horrifying movies, here is called Paddy O’ Shea’s. Some costumed hashers earlier get at there for a hashing shivaree. e.g., W7 dressing a red army green blouse and topping a cowboy hat and shouldering a welterweight whip more than looks like ghostbuster; Just Daniel capping a red mitre and putting on tightfitting white Roman Catholic frock, have to be viewed as a high priest; TransylVestite crowns a frizzly brown wig and knots a lax red tie matching with beige wind coat; Pickle Boy piggybacking a pair of snow-white wings and white plain masque masquerades as archangel but some feather being broken as well as uncostumed hashers like Red Snatcher and Placenta,etc. The place owner, Margaricunt dyed hair and eyebrows has his hands with full for hashers and his guests, Grotesque make-up customers shuttle in and out with hearty smiles and eye expressions each other, but don’t eat Kaleh Pacheh (sheep hooves) and haggis.

On top of hashing apparition one by one: a newcomer primps a geisha appearing with doughy face and long pinkish kimono and white sock on geta (she’s never able to sit down and run) chaperoned by unapparent attired Just Jin; wow! Comes On Vacation wears a bull demon king’s helmet and aprons a chunky piece of real sheep pelt that shaggy white fleece speaks texture and pins an exquisite sticker with sheath on her waistbelt; haha! Bearded Clam’s whole head encases in a TV screen made of a carton glued with some bottle caps as TV buttons and words for Fox Station and his face smearing a fox face; oh! Must rivet all eyes on a lady’s face with strips of black and white thick greasepaint going with same pattern of her cloche and overskirt, turns out to be Pussy Nibble; soon enough Chokes One Out comes up with pixie cap overhead and Mickey Mouse’s disguised face and holds a brand-new broom; quietly Just Kate flutters in with Chinese baby style tiger headgear and foggy mask entangled with steel wool that seems to be mouth cleaner; look! A small team break in with uniformed prink of doctor or patient’s suit with spotty bloody red stains, they are Dazed & Confused yoking a dismembered forearm to his neck made up smoke eyes and pallid painted faces, CumShot as well, Crash Test Dummy, ChippenDale only wrapping around a black quality cape and pale painted face and the corner of mouth hanging on a blob of bloody red; Hebei Horse Herpes then garbs a mandarin chirpaur and high-heeled shoes; West Side Farter covers an anti-gas mask on his face; a burst of shouts of joy, “Life Of Pee!” who’s former brilliant Beijing H3’s GM visiting us in the very inspiring moment, hugging with him, greeting with him, wearing his habitual fedora and dark jacket;

To run for celebrating Samhain-Summer’s End in Gaelic of Celtic New Year is in the offing. There are more and more costumed hashers turning up, Whose Red Wienie grooming his original function as magician in tall hat and black eyes and waxy face and juggling his magic wand gives rise to shriek from young ladies; lumme! X-man wolverine joins us tonight, who’s Urine Trouble with trimmed long strong sideburns and white long sleeve T-shirt spanning a suspender trousers, especially his hands trussed up with 3 tableware knives respectively; Sweet and Furry has a semi-cat mask on her face; Secret Teddy tops a long horn in all black; Just Wendy clothes whole black dressing; Drill Me tricks up a black cat in open jupe with leopard design and daubed cat face; Benz Over and Grasshopper both don’t titivate; Pony without costume pops up alone for awhile; some duded unbeknownsts. Around 11pm, D&C hollers a circle up for well-timed poltergeist hashing with all smiles. In fact, many with effective costumes can walk only. Small group jump-start to dash away on sidewalk along heavy traffic. 2 hares race afront such as COO and WRW, across a busy intersection and on other sidewalk without any mark, keeping forward and not long after down to a bar filling with crowd and all sorts of costumed people, in the twinkling of an eye, from ancient to modern times, from West to East, the folks’s clothings on streets are dazzling and bizarre. Walking hare, BC leads a pack of hashing walkers to come over and pulls out 3 bottles of liquor, WuLiangYe, JinJiu and Jimmy Hamster, each hasher drinks up a tiny cup in a circle with Hash classic song and then double back to Paddy’s. While reaching there, some latecomers with no Halloween attire show up like Dry Hole, Horny On Top, Filthy Habit, and Kiss My Maple Leaf swathes a black tights from top to bottom, just exposes his 2 peepers and his back stapled a pair of big black fabric wings.

Circling up organized by GM for newcomers and uncostumed hashers, etc. Looking up sky is finding a moon but has been blanketed by agglomerates of smog. What a hellish weather is proper for the occasion! Ough! Time to vote for best costume and best makeup for hashers out of candidates like PN, COV, BC, KMML and W7,etc. Eventually PN wins best makeup and COV gains best costume in a sea of cheers from hashers. After a short ceremony circle, all hashers rush in Paddy’s afresh for wicca-ish revelry. Still some latecomers catch up with compelling Halloween party and Hanky Panky, i.e., Shaken Not Stirred fusses up a witchy appearance with gross black; Nut Pirate doesn’t costume, has even the slightest; Who’s Your Dada as latest comer gets up as flying Dutchwoman with her long posterior skirt hemline but a lack of a blinder; nearly 40 hashers in succession drink, dance, laugh and scream accompanied by blare of speakers until in the wee hours. COO seems to be hangover and leaves her new broom behind. So-called smoggy purgatory passes into a fancy ball for All Saints’ Day, which is something of a blessing in disguise.

In the mid-afternoon of Halloween 3rd day on Sunday, just APEC summit is being convened, by definition, a clear day and extra lucid sky, dunno that’s man-made or a fluke by the natural wind! Diverting costumes the most of hashers still keep dressing up. In a way of A to B means that start point is different from finish point and all hashers’s bags are loaded into the car of Nut Pirate whom says he’s afraid the police catch him in costume for running so he quits intraday Hash event at assembly place at subway exit downtown; Shaken Not Stirred’s new dressing makes the folks zizzy spiffing a shepherd check one-piece and a cordiform sunglasses with wide yellow frames, in particular her black leather shoes’s flaming sole and high-heels, ladygaga!; Who’s Your Dada yells, “Your shoes, how tough rough!” Hashing costumes attract many passers-by to fix their eyes on. “My god! Life Of Pee here!” exclaims in a distance, this’s Heart On without disguise who rushes at LOP about 6m away and bears affectionate hug to LOP; Everything Butt pretties up with a white navy uniform; some don’t deck out, like Just Vincent, AutoBlow registering all joys of her heart from her bright big glims although she calls herself dressing up by a simple windbreaker and casual top hat; Waiting For It, On Your Knees, Just Mat, active Pop Dancer from Shanghai is arrayed in summer trunks and newcomers with doodled faces; D&C calls for a circle and substitutes a hare teaming up with TransylVestite, who in low and hoarse voice with his attire and blacked dense eyebrows and carrying a brown snickers as a cigar between his 2 fingers, explains the marks to newcomers in circle that as if Morgan teaches the hashers to live thru difficult time vividly.

Last but not least, the hashers brave to showcase the self in public. Across a carrefour on a flow of traffic, WFI on a footbridge is the first to locate a mark and then turn right to a hutong where the locals are curious about observing costumed hashers passing by, some locals break down at once, “this’s for Halloween day.” Many points for Open Check, Two Ways and Three Ways halt the most to hold on for a spell. Some restless runners go on checking out all directions such as WFI, CD, RS, PB, PN, EB and LOP, etc. Hutongs by hutongs, at times hare gets perplexed, too, by misguiding the hashers to run round and round, in a trice moving on the street, Comes On Vacation springs out of nowhere as latecomer; scuttling along the street in an instant, making right down to an alleyway anew. When arriving the end of hutongs, about 5 walkers have stayed there as first beer stop for a little while ushered by walking hare, CumShot, however the shop is closed. After coordinating for 10 mins, shop owner delivers a case of cold beer with her explanation of which she misthought the hashers come along at night. Chatting and drinking for a moment and continue to explore Halloween difference on trail. Oodles of hutongs lie around, sometime structures conjure up hippocampus of hashers for the past. Chilly breeze drives hashers to scamper faster for warmth if putting on shorts. Crash Test Dummy whips into running line-up for a run, attaboy! Some jog at average speed, like “Geisha” who doesn’t garb her kimono but if don’t hear her voice, tough to identify her looking, Just Jin and newcomers. Going over a long overpass, WFI all the way leads up to second beer stop at wayside, thru office building area and snaky bypass of establishments. While asking the owner of second beer shop in a class by itself, they say they didn’t place the beer into fridge because they didn’t know. Have to choose normal temperature beer to drink. By the time, cold wind kicks up some dust around hashers, some of whom stop from drinking already in like manner even though walkers come over as well. Upon whooping for Open Check from RA, it ignites blazing fire of interoception of hashers to move on. Perhaps WFI missed a few Hash events, so she sticks out to be on the bounce, RS, CD and PB tread on her heel. When lingering nearby Work’s Stadium, no hasher follow up and no sign, fortunately WFI knew the destination and guides a length of trail without mark and finally hit the home base. All hashers fine tune for a circle where the hares pinpoint a silent ample passageway in a lane.

In the natural course of Hash events, GM and RA in turns officiate at Hash repertoire of Hash-preneur by calling in newcomers, latecomers and long-time-no-sees with Hash songs and Hash gift for a toot. Some latecomers bob up such as Margaricunt, Pretty Woman, Bearded Clam and Whose Red Wienie. By voting on site to screen out COV’s best costume from other few elects like LOP who blindfolds a cardboard mask with phone number and words for fully body massage; Benz Over and PB conflict with their identical skeleton cloak, TransylVestite, WYD; LOP takes out some specialty from Idaho including a delicate key chain for each hasher on scene and powerful liquor for each hasher’s sip comparing to Jimmy Hamster as well as some potatoes and other episodes. In the cope of night, it winds up with Swing Low led a chorus by COV as RA with all hashers’ gesture language with 4 editions. The most stand to taste savoury hotdog produced by PW and then head to a cabinet bar surrounding for another sip and magic show by WRW.

Losing the ability of learning knowledge likens the zombie; seeing money as holistic world likens the vampire; bamboozling the public for self-interest likens the ghost; using violence to solve the trouble likens the demon (even if betweentimes zombies, vampires and ghosts conduct misuse of authority), with kid gloves treatment for bete noir in seedy world, lordy! Jasmine revolution demonstrates a heuristic introspection sometime or other for all of justice and fairness. Please clean souls undertake the law enforcement!

On On…
Pickle Boy

Beijing. Tuesday,
November 04, 2014