The high temperature of 38 degree utters threat against outdoor activity for days.“There’s a dragonfly, Dad. The weather will change.”Phantom Menace reminded Phantom the day before. As expected, before the Red Dress Charity Run once a year in the Saturday afternoon, a little fall of rain alleviates the parching hotness.

A pool of over 60 hashers in fiery-red and multifarious dresses catch the public eyes. 4 cartons of cold sponsored beer Taste Room serve these philanthropists. GM Super Squirter summons a circle up and 2 RA Six Kuai Short and Heart On call 3 hares Phantom, Beer Wolf and Saint Knickerless to explain the marks to 15 virgins such as Just Jane the owner of XL bar. Cockarazzi snapshots professionally. A voice for Open Check kicks off a manifest function of the hashing in formidable array at Dawanglu. Such the active hashers as Principal Penetration, Barbara Bush, Placenta, Banana Job, Extra Dry visiting back, Pickle Boy, unknowns. The prodigious and chirpy red flow makes a splash to most of locals thru a bustling crossing and along the noisy street into a junction to a lane then have an U-turn to meet up the first beer stop. The freezing beer balances out the sustaining torridity. Jamming in a corner for talk and drink in the shade.

The beneficent dress: Dickmocracy in a plum-flower-patterned red dress sticks out of his slender figure plus a pair of bosomy bust pads; Karate wraps up a long red dress with deep V-shaped diamonds corsage; Rambo Number Five also in a prolong red piece and toquet looks like Mideast style; Finger My Dough wearing a long black wig matching up with a pair of cherry lips and suspender red skirt poses a graceful charm; Santorum Cock Tale in classic red dress comes together with his dyed red elegant hair; Bjorn Again puts on a gorgeous golden frizzly peruke looking like a grand justice; Ezy Rider dresses a low-profile rainbow mini-skirt; Melon Drama still prinks like Nezha, aka the Neon God, and otherwise.

The free-ranging souls fly forth and back in an uncluttered-feeling space the hares set, in particular in abeyance of the rayless and wayless chatoyance. The hares like reversioner guide and swash the stuporous hashers to unfolding of intelligence. All of a sudden, a commodious spot entertains the hashers for the second beer stop. Dazed & Confused squeezes in as latecomer. The hare BW hands out red alcoholic jello to treat the hashers. The ice-cold beer and a chopped watermelon are provided to the thirsty hashers. When all hashers arrive, a novelty-prone game appears on the scene. 5 cups of beer are placed in a row at the end of 10-meter distance. 5 players need to race to drink the cup of beer without hands and in the middle backwards and forwards need to jump 5 times. A cohort of hashers play up a smash hit like Sink & Destroy, Pussy Nibble, Agent Orgy, Dunking Dognuts, Stoned Age, Just Diego, Just Daniel, Mussels from Brussels, BW, Just Jeryl, FMD, SS, Algae Bra, No Shit Sherlock, Just Sherry and Sausage Party. Fashionable local young people poke in what festival the hashers are celebrating.

There are about 25 walkers to stroll on a shorter trail. But while running a water bridge, seeing that SA is accompanying SS who is squatting to be suffering a bit sunstroke and needs to take a break for minutes. And then walking forward to find some water to drink and spray on her body for a cooling. And SA soon scuttles away for water. PB watches her squatting and she breaks down her a sorta anemia when her mom had her gestation, the nutrition was not good enough. Minutes later, SA holds a large pint of ice water to let her drink and sprinkle some water on her body. She stands up to recover and picks a sharing bicycle to the third beer stop. All hashers drink and relax for a little while. Shortly hitting the road and unknowingly reaching the 4th beer stop next to street. CTD and S&D have a race. RoadKill buys a red T-shirt with Chinese characters, “Mr. Unreliable” and looping back to restaurant. Specially as Phantom in long brown wig and red skintight jogs back that wins the rate of second glance from a number of passers-by. Indeed each such the Red Dress Run, Phantom always shows his different red taste. Tantantalizer measures the whole trail to be 4.1 miles.

A grand circle is celebrated with thrill of pleasure in front of the restaurant. GM SS and 2 RA SKS and HO in turn marshals the splendour of hashing pneuma. A bunch of virgins are welcomed. Shifu PeePoo and Smells Fishy separately obtains the patch. The resourceful SKS singles out the best dressers to make a stage pose, one by one, the long-time-no-see former FM GM Chokes One Out dances on a hip; Dickmocracy sways his bottom; MD punches a boxing; CTD turns a cartwheel in slow motion; Just Diego minces in bashful wiggling way with his thewy arms; a chair is put in for a 69 show between Phantom and Dunking Dognuts that attracts high-frequency merriment. HO sits on the chair to follow COO’s hip dance in the circle. Bearded Clam somehow suck-swallows a cock of shame. Then 007 stands up on the chair lets Phantom do hair-loss job. Lick It To Ride in red curly wig and striped dress standing on high position outside the circle with SPP co-sing the Hash songs loud. The beloved COO drinks up a lummy Arm Cast with a fit of cheers. Suddenly a team of policemen shows up to stop the hashing circle as a finale. Around 20 hashers eat yummy local food. Later on, the local media soon reports the Red Dress Run. Nevertheless there are some negative local comments. Anyhow this Red Dress Run happening in an open public place, not 798 Art District, must form a zap pit in somewhat local minds.

The attendees of the panel also include Transylvestite, Damaged Goods, Just Desmond, Red Snatcher, Just Gloria, Hot Cockalate, Godzilla Butt, Creamy Lips, Terracotta Whorrior, ChickenShit, Danger Zone who does the heavy Hash Cash again, Breastaurant who’s back after over 2 years, Just Leon, Hard To Live With, just Christina, Taxi Ride Her and Taxi Mom as well as Phantom Menace who don’t join the circle, also Tinjian hashers like Tweet Pie, Little Tweety Pie and the others, Charlie, Baobao, unknowns. And as usual, after each Red Dress Charity Run annually, its fundraising would be donated to where the people are in need. After our Mismanagement’s voting, the Maple Hotline will be elected as our donee for helping the women psychological counseling, particularly victims of domestic violence. Their website:

On On…

Pickle Boy
Beijing. Monday,
June 19, 2017

Scientific kindness always detects and directs the defect of the law and the loophole of the education.