Welcome to the Beijing Hash House Harriers Portal – your one-stop-site for all things drinking, running, laughing, and navigating the maze of Beijing Kennels’ upcoming shenanigans!
Lace up those running shoes, check out our hash schedule, and don’t miss the chance to hit the trails with a side of laughter.
Psst… our song section might just be the secret ingredient to make your runs a musical adventure! 🎶 #OnOnBeijingH3
Our next run is…
BJH3#2187, F*ck Off to the Drunken Dragon
As we know (as we know), a new lunar year is right around the corner. And word on the street is that the Drunken Dragon isn’t happy about it. At all.
After looking out for Beijing hashers during a record year of shitty trails, the Dragon is appalled to see that they’re all giggling and choking on their beers (or their neighbor’s cum) and ready to fuck off the Dragon in lieu of a more slippery, slimy, and shitty serpentine host.
In a fit of rage, the Drunken Dragon wrote a nasty letter to the Shitty Snake. A little warning that he’s not handing over his lunar drinking powers without a cock fight….
From: Drunken Dragon
To: Shitty Snake
Date: 2025.01.25
Slammed another keg, fire in my throat,
Smoke from my nostrils, pissed off and broke.
Snake, you slimy, smug little punk,
Stealing my year while I’m roaring drunk.
They toast your rise, they cheer your coil,
Whispers of size make my blood boil.
“He’s got the length, he’s got the might,”
But what’s a big cock if you don’t ignite?
Another pint down, the tension grows,
My scales twitch hot as my jealousy shows.
You strut, you slither, all slick and sly,
But can you erupt and light up the sky?
I ruled with flames, a fiery blast,
You crawl, you spill—how long will you last?
While you slink on with your subtle moves,
I’m here to explode, with nothing to prove.
So drink it in now, your fleeting fame,
When I come back, I’ll claim my name.
And when the year ends, your glory’s done—
The dragon’s rise is the only one.
……………………….
Will the Drunken Dragon’s message scare off the Shitty Snake? Leaving the hashers of Beijing with another overcast year, drinking beers covered in ash and soot?
Or will the Shitty Snake ignore the Dragon’s petty poetics, and cum slithering in all sly and slimy?
Cum to hash this Saturday to find out!!
Hash cash:
30rmb for beer stops and circle.
75rmb for dinner (NOTE: NO REFUNDS AFTER THE LAST BEER STOP)
Your Hares:
Just George, Sticky Bitch (walking hares)
Singaporn Star (running hare)
Trail:
Trail is A-A with bag drop at restaurant.
Hairy Hashers
Trail is not dog-friendly
When:
Saturday, Jan. 25th, 1:30pm meet up 2:00pm start
On-after:
Our hash bar, Paddy O’Shea’s, of course.
D’erections to meet up spot:
Dongsi Station, Exit C
东四站, 出口C
Exit the subway through Exit C, turn left, then walk south on Dongsi South Street for 300 meters. Resto is on the left side of the street.
Address:
Dongsi South Street No. 94, Dongcheng
东城区东四南大街94号
Upcoming Hareline:
01–Feb-25 (Saturday) Run #2188 – Pickle Boy, Shtupwaffel,Banana Shoes
09–Feb-25 (Sunday) Run #2189 – Pickle Boy, Necro Feel Me Up, P. Diddler
15–Feb–25 (Saturday) Run #2190 – Pickle Boy (acclaimed HERO HARE), Marie Cumtoilette
22–Feb–24 (Saturday) Run #2191 – Pickle Boy, Dark Shaft, Just Sam, Red Snatcher
Beijing Full Moon H3 #205 Polar Plunge
The Full Moon Hash Polar Plunge Challenge is back!
One hundred years ago, a royal Danish ship named Sailor Swift was carrying the first shipment of Carlsberg into Beijing. The ship had taken the long and arduous journey up the Northern Canal from the port of Tianjin into the capital. Later historians note that this was the first introduction of the now infamous two-for-one Carlsberg deal to the Northern Capital.
On one frosty full moon evening in January, Sailor Swift was travelling up the Beihucheng River carrying a cargo of Carlsberg and, another of Denmark’s most famous exports, pork. Just as the ship was about to moor by Andingmen wharf and unload its precious cargo, tragedy struck!
An errant iceberg was spotted too late and the ship’s hull was torn asunder. The crew were forced to abandon ship and swim to safety along the banks of the Beihucheng River. Some locals say the errant iceberg was actually blocks of ice – used in mysterious ceremonies known as “circles” – dumped in the river by the precursors to modern hashers.
Hash rumour has it, Sailor Swift still lies in the freezing, icy depths of the Beihucheng River with a cargo hold full of Carlsberg. It is our solemn duty as hashers to find the wreck and reclaim this lost treasure!
This year we are doing a special themed Iceberg Challenge! What is the Iceberg Challenge and how does it differ from the traditional Polar Plunge, you ask? In an homage to our favourite deal in the ‘Jing, the two-for-one Carlsberg members discount at our hash bar Paddy’s, we are putting our own FMH spin on the Polar Plunge Challenge.
Those who wish to participate in the Iceberg Challenge will need to consume one Carlsberg before diving in and polar plunging in the Beihucheng River, and one Carlsberg after. Soft drinks will also be provided as a non-alcoholic option for the challenge.
Our very own Full Moon Hash haberdasher Lost in Sex has designed this gorgeous, exclusive patch for those brave enough take on and successfully complete the Full Moon Hash Iceberg Challenge 2025.
The Full Moon Hash Polar Plunge will have a traditional hash trail through the historic hutongs surrounding Wudaoying Hutong, along the scenic Beihucheng River, and around the Andingmen area. You do not have to participate in the polar plunging; you can just cum along and watch other hashers attempt the challenge and turn themselves into popsicles. However, only those who successfully complete the Iceberg Challenge will receive the exclusive patch.
For those wishing to participate in the Iceberg Challenge, please bring along towels with you. We will provide some towels for those attempting the challenge, however, as we will all want to dry off as quickly as possible after getting out, having your own towels will be ideal.
Our very own Full Moon Hash apothecary Bloody Butt Precise has concocted a special cool and refreshing drink just for this challenge, which also doubles up as anti-freeze!
So cum join these three little piggies as we dive into the icy depths of the Beihucheng River searching for treasure. Everyone is welcome!
Dress Code: Anything winter related: the penguin onesie you purchased off Taobao! Cosplay as Elsa from Frozen! Or come in haberdashery.
Hash Cash: 30 RMB
Running Icicle: Singaporn Star
Walking Icicle: Bloody Butt Precise
Beer Bitch: Silent Suck-off
Trail: Trail is A to A with bag drop at Pebbles
When: Friday, 17th January 2025
7:00 pm meet-up
7:30 pm start
Meet Up: Pebbles 砂卵石墨西哥餐厅（五道营店）
北京市东城区安定门街道五道营胡同74号
Dinner: Buy your own dinner at Pebbles after
On-after: Our hash bar, Paddy O’Shea’s of course!
D’erections to Pebbles:
Andingmen Metro Station Exit B
安定门地铁站B出口
Hashing in China
The hash world asked for it and we got it! Introducing the new ALL CHINA HASH HOUSE HARRIERS OFFICIAL DIRECTORY!
Formerly known as just “Hash China”, the new improved directory comes with a beautiful new design, better user interface, responsive, more content, dedicated hash news section, highlighted events in the region, easy access in the mainland and many more features! All by the hand of Dazed & Confused and RoomBoy.
Visit china.hash.cn today!
Hashing in Beijing
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Beijing! Beijing! What wonderful place to hash…
Beijing, Beijing, what a wonderful place to hash,
We have great fun dodging the shit and trash.
Our skies are never clear,
But we have cheaper beer.
We like our drinks,
Our singing stinks.
But welcome to the Beijing Hash!
MORE SHENANIGANS
Not enough awesomeness? Keep reading for hash trash, past runs, hash socials and much more…
Sunday BJHHH#1907: HASHOCALYPSE NOW
The Year 2029. Hashers find themselves in a parallel universe. The planet has been hit by three terrible plagues that wreaked death and destruction across the land. The first plague; a deadly KAMIKAZE ripped through the city, destroying everything in its path. The second plague; a heatwave that was TOO HOT TO HANDLE engulfed the city. The third and most [...]
Friday Fullmoon H3 Run #131
Summer runnin', had me a blast Summer runnin', hashing so fast Laid a trail, crazy for me Had a beer, maybe three Summer days drifting away To, uh oh, those hashing nights Well-a, well-a, well-a, uh! Tell me more, tell me more Will we go very far? Tell me more, tell me more Like whens the next bar? Hares: Old [...]
May 18th Boxer #178: Badaling Warlords
The Beijing Great Wall at Badaling descends from the hills ending in a little known Jiayuguan-like fortress in Provincial Hebei. From whence, it is said, that long ago an evil band of roving Mongol thieves led by the dread boss Blister Foot the Elder robbed a Federal stage coach full of greenbacks otherwise destined to the coffers of warlords in [...]
BJHHH#1906: Cheese, wine and frivolity!
Get your pinky fingers ready - no, not for that you dirty bastard - but for the fanciest hash of the spring! While searching for marks... We'll trail rivers worthy of the finest regattas, Cum close to wildlife glorious enough to compete with an African safari, Sip on great (Wall) wine and taste some yellow delights. And If that's [...]
Beijing HHH Run #1905: May the 4th Hash with you!
May the 4th be with you until Cinco de Mayo! But then you’ll feel the Revenge of the Sixth. Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi once said, “The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.” That's all bullshit. As a smart hasher once said, “Beer is what [...]
Beijing HHH Run #1904: The Amazing Worker’s Run
What is the best way to celebrate the Worker's day holiday? Work in a Sunday of course! That's why we urge you to come this SATURDAY to the Amazing Worker's Run! The Beijing Hash House Harriers has an extended tradition of celebrating Labour Day with class, Join your experienced hares celebrating in the manner that only hashers know best. The [...]
Beijing H3 Run #1903: It will be a different one!
It will be a different one! You heard this many times, for sure. At least a variation of it (Next time you'll cum too, I swear!---The next beer will be cold!---Next time I really care about your problems!)But the Hares promise you, this time for real, it will be a different one! Join Hot Cockolate, Tinderella and Master Baker this [...]
WEDNESDAY FMH #130: Western BJ Full Moon Adventure
'Why always in the hutongs? ' you whined. 'When will we hash somewhere different?' you inquired. Like any good wolf pack we have heard your howls. This full moon hash will be like no other... Except the fundamentals which will be exactly the same. Join us on Wednesday for the same same but different full moon hash! You wanted South, [...]
BJHHH Run #1902 – The Two Towers Hash
The Hares loved taking Line 7 so much last week they decided to stay on it. Join them a few stops from our previous trail, at Daguanying. At the Beijing Hash we love history; whether it be striking temples, great railway engineering or a unnamed Hasher marking his first trail for BJH3! Of course we love beer even more. 🍻 [...]
Boxer H3 #177
Today is gonna be the day That Boxer Hash is cuming back to you By now you should’ve somehow Realised what you gotta do I don’t believe that anybody can Bla-Bla the way Juicy can do Lord tell me how? 🎵🎵 Backbeat Double-Dutch is on the street And flour on the wall is out 8K its gunna be ok All [...]
Best runs ever with the Beijing Hash! Endless singing and people happy everywhere!
What a great time you gave us & what we had. Would really like to see you again. Thanks you lot! ON ON!
I wasn’t sure what to expect of these fellas… But once everything started, it was mind blowing! Never seen a kennel so energetic and fun! Keep it ON ON fuckers!
Thanks so much for a wonderful Beijing Hash, the circle was fun and entertaining and the Beijing hashers are a happy lot, we hope to meet some in the land of Oz one day.
The Beijing Hash saved my life in a hard moment, Hashing is a happy club bringing positive energy to humanity. On On
Thanks heaps to all the gang for making our stay at Beijing a happy and memorable experience. We really did enjoy ourselves at BH3 and by the end of the evening I felt we had made lots of new friends and certainly managed to get seriously drunk!